He Dumped Me. How does he feel now? What should I do?

Question

Hi everyone. I'm 20 years old and my ex is 25. We had been together for 14 months before we broke up few days ago. We were in love.
Few days ago, he wanted to break up with me. I told him that we could work out together, but he didnt want to. He said that he does not love me anymore and doesnt have any feelings left for me. He said he still loves me as a friend. He told me that the main reason we broke up was that he wanted to be a freeman, free from any attachment because he wanted to do things for himself, like travelling and hang out with anyone he wants to. He didnt want any girlfriend right now and he wanted to move on. He said that he was SO happy that he is finally free and broke up with me. I was so upset, I talked to him for 3 days after he dumped me, but he still didnt want to get back together. He asked me to move on and he didnt want to give me any hope. I am 101% sure he is not cheating on me. I still love him and I admit i had faults in this relationship. Thank you.

I know that love doesnt disappear in a day. He told me he has been thinking about this for a really long time, and sometimes, he couldn't sleep thinking about rather to break up with me.
My problems were that I wasnt being a considerate person when i was with him and I didnt want him to hang out with specific people e.g. I wasnt doing a good job on taking care of him when he was sick. He also felt like he was my personal servant because he had always do/help me with things. I didnt want him to go out with only a girl, but more than two girls is fine.
I want to know how he feels now? Is he really happy for breaking up with me? Does he really not love me anymore besides the friendship love? Thank you so much for reading this and helping me out.

Thank you, Thank you everyone. I'm so touched that so many people has read my long story and given their opinion to me.

I am moving on now. Thank you for everyone's support. They mean so much to me and help me to be stronger.
My ex called me yesterday, I picked up his phone. I have learned to move on and be strong, so, whatever he said didnt affect me much. I was happy and polite when I was talking to him on the phone. Another thing I have learned after this relationship is that the best revenge is to let him know that I am living well and better than before. It's not that I want to revenge because I have already forgiven him, but I want him to know that I can still live well without him.
Thank you, everyone. I really dont know which is the best answer to pick because each advice is helpful and meaningful to me.

Answer 1

Regardless of your faults, he has made it plain and clear that he doesn't want any relationship right now, at least not with you. As painful as this may be, you have to at least give the guy credit for being honest, rather than stringing you along in a relationship that was going nowhere. Please try to focus on the fact that he cannot love you back the way you still love him at this point, and this will help you move on.

Answer 2

The question I think you should ask yourself is this: What do I deserve? You deserve a man who will be committed to you and will care for you and love you. I know you cared for this guy, but it sounds like he has some maturity issues. It sounds like you could probably do better.
Now, having said that this could be a hard truth: Single is not an evil word. Some women have a lot of issues b/c they don't want to be single. So, enjoy being single yourself and wait. Don't take the first "nice" guy that comes along, but wait- wait for the right guy.
Having said that, the only this left is this: Move on. Chances are nothing you say can bring him back. Have you ever tried to chase a scared cat and reason with it that all you want to do is pet it? It doesn't work. You have to settle down and let the scared cat come to you.
If he is immature enough to run away from you, then let him go and move on. Believe that you are a great girl and deserve someone who really cares for you. Believe that you really don't need him and you can probably do better.
If you are looking for a serious relationship, then maybe think about the qualities you are looking for in the next man you want to date. If you are looking for a serious man, don't look for a grown-up kid that you can mommy, but an adult that is willing to be half of a real relationship. If a guy you date isn't like that- drop him before it's 14 months later and your heart is involved with him.
Note: I know all of this stuff is easier said than done! good luck.

Answer 3

He needs his time to be free. Most likely he saw friends or co-workers that didnt have anyone to answer too and longed to have that independent spirit w/no one to answer to. Unfortunately, he is not seeing what he is missing. You cannot sit and wait and pine over him while he is doing his own thing. He is not your responsiblity, and it's none of your bussiness what he is doing now. The best thing to do is to focus on other areas in your life. Spend time with friends and family and give him his space. Perhaps at some point he will realize what he left behind and seek you out again. But any pressures from you will just reaffirm his inability to be his own person in ya'll relationship. Be there for him if he seeks you, but otherwise move on. I know easier siad than done. Sounds like you have some thinking to do for yourself. Maybe a weekend getaway w/a best girlfriend will help clear your head. Good luck

Answer 4

...same crap happened to me last November hun...and I do know how you feel seriously. You're young darling....so like the guy said...he doesn't love you anymore...and I'm thinking he means it this time. Move on slowly and go take care of yourself and your emotional state right now. Find your best and closest friends, and seriously go air out your laundry with them...especially about your now ever present ex. Take people for their words and their actions here hun. He'll learn to regret his behavior with you later. You're both young darling....and I can just about assure you that the next guy will be better then this one was anyways. Let the dust settle first with you though sweetie. No sense in dragging old baggage and attitudes into the next great relationship you'll be having...wouldn't you agree?

Answer 5

Moving on after being rejected is the hardest thing in life to do. Alot of times, advise isn't enough, you will continue to call him and beg til he's so sick of you he has no respect left. If you could foresee that, maybe you'd be strong enough to let go. He will never be happy with you if its you pushing him into getting back together. He will forever resent you, and eventually it will lead to a nasty break up. Focus on yourself and don't lose your self respect. With every rejection you deal with from him, its going to make you feel worse about yourself. I wish you the best, I have been there.

Answer 6

i think the best thing to do if he wants space is to give it to him. as much as you dont want to because you love him, the worse thing to do is push him into staying in a relationship that he needs a break from.

if it's meant to be then the two of you will get back together at some point and if it's not then it's not and take what you learned from that relationship and move on

Answer 7

MOVE ON!!!!! Why in the world would you want to be with a guy that doesn't want to be with you???
It wil take time but you will find someone else and learn from the mistakes you made with your last b/f.
We've all been heartbroken before its not the end of the world, things will work out for you.

Answer 8

He only told you that he wanted to be friends to not hurt your feelings. Men have learned this one from women, they do it all the time to men.

He is over you, has move on and doesn't think about you, you should do the same. Fact that he told you that is all you should need to know.

Chances are that he was just trying to be nice when he said that he wanted to be free. He probably already has another girlfriend. Leave him alone and stop stalking him.

Answer 9

Well don't start dating yet. Give yourself some time to get over the relationship and to realize you can be happy without a man.

Sit back, think of what all went wrong and try not to let it happen in your next relationship.

Answer 10

Love is not something that happens when u or he wants to happen or dont want to..if he wants to be free let him free..he will come back if he needs u n knows what it is to miss u....men need space..they are like streched rubberbands..they come back if u strech( give them space)..if he doesnt come back then remember u r just out of ur teens n have whole life ahead n deserve someone who loves n cares what u feel..if he can b without u so can u