My brother is 40yrs old, divorced, working part-time and lives with Mom. Less then a 1mo after exiting U-Turn for Christ (a Christian rehad), he is again drinking.
The family has found empty liquor bottles in bushes and behind the dryer. Most of his drinking is done in the garage. He goes to church to please my Mom. But, he fools no one except himself. Mom refuses to remove him from the home. My Mom is diabetic and dealing with kidney problems.
We are a strong Christian family. I welcome all positive prayers. I know our Lord has a plan. But, what can we do as a family to help resolve this issue?
2007-04-18 07:05:15 · 17 answers · asked by yellrbird 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Tough love is the answer. Ensure he realises the secret is out, and that you & all the family love him and will support him in the right circumstances, but that he has to get practical help to kick this habit. He needs to change his habits: walk/drive back from work by a different route so he avoids his watering-holes, and stays away from the liquor store. Try and arrange for your brother to do his shopping with someone who will tell him no, and be strong enough to mean it, should he try and buy booze when grocery shopping. Ensure he realises the strain his "clever deception" is putting on his already ill Mom. Point out that if he truly loves Jesus, then he will put his family before his pleasures and strive to make Mom's life happier.
And keep praying! If he won't seek help, then see, or write to, your pastor and explain the situation, seeking his help. Ask your acquaintances within the fellowship for their prayers and practical help. Maybe God'll use the situation to bring the church closer to Him.
God bless you and your family, and especially your brother in his struggle.
2007-04-19 00:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by Already Saved 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you know that your mother is doing your brother no good if she is 'condoning' the drinking problrm. She may honestly need the company, regardless of his issue.
Being that you are a strong Christian family, repeat and use the Prayer of Serenity. "God grant me the ability to except the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Your brother thinks he is keeping his problem in the dark from everyone...and everyone is not doing anything to help him face it. You need to collect those bottles, get your strong family together and have an intervention, with those bottles as a center piece. The intervention will not be welcomed. There may be heated arguments. But, your brother needs to enter rehab, again...perhaps one different than the one that he had entered. What was the U-Turn's follow-up program? Was he not following it?
I don't know his circumstance, in regard to his divorce, but if his initial increase in drinking was a result of his separation/divorce, he lost faith and hope in God. If alcohol destroyed his marriage, this might be more the reason that your brother may need to find another place to live. Your mother may be condoning his behavior, out of a need for companionship. Your family may have to seriously address this issue with your mother. In concern with her, she will feel a loss of control, if your family takes a stand to have him removed (or to find another place). But, he is not good for her condition, and she is in no condition to deal with his. She has got to also pray for the ability, strength and wisdom to God, about her and this situation. Your family may have to take the bull by the horns and decide on this matter for her. You are adults, right? You are responsible and cognitive human beings, right? Does she not trust your judgement? Has she not raised you right to make responsible and caring decisions? Does she feel that your decision is not in the best interest of her son?? You need to enlist the help of her pastor/minister. Your brother needs AA. He may not find or refind God for many years, but trust that God is watching out for him, through you...and you need to know that your brother must find it in himself to help himself--he must find strength, within himself, to battle this.
Sometimes people fall off the wagon, many many times, before they find the strength that they need to withstand the hold that alcohol has on them.
2007-04-18 07:29:26 · answer #2 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can keep asking your higher power to help your brother, but unless your brother wants to quit drinking he won't. Interventions can help for the time being, but ultimately it is his life and his choice. I know that sounds harsh, but you cannot control his actions, only he can.
Please remember that alcoholism is an illness the same as cancer is. So don't condemn him for his drinking. If he does decide to stop, then you need to give him as much positive support as you can.
Don't let this affect your life in a negative way as there is really nothing you can do to control his illness. Only he can.
2007-04-18 07:15:21 · answer #3 · answered by Bev F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prayer is always good of course, and what your brother may need is your support. Alcoholism is a disease and it's not easy to overcome.
I would talk to him, but not in a condescending way, but with truth and understanding. Ask why he feels he has to drink, ask him what he gets out of it and if there is anything that could substitute, like talking to someone.
Tell him you are there for him and try not to judge, because then he may feel guilty asking for help.
Prayers to you and your family.
2007-04-18 07:11:37 · answer #4 · answered by Beverly B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only he can stop drinking. I don't mean to rain on the parade, but it's his life and you have to be a bit more direct than prayer if you want to make a difference (I guess what I'm saying is no prayer is less effective than the one you ask for now).
2007-04-18 07:14:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems something is eating at your brother that need to be dealt with and he drinks to cover it up, if he can find someone to bring whatever is causing him to destroy himself out in the opening it could help him a great deal .do not give up on him, he need support from his family i have known many to be the worse drunker and causers ever and now they are the best Christians ever maybe your brother have not reached the level that you have yet .maybe GOD is working with him you never know he could turn to be a blessing in disguise
2007-04-18 07:19:45 · answer #6 · answered by mishoney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At some point you need to admit that your prayers and the efforts of the christian rehab center are not working. I would suggest looking into secular rehab centers. I would look for one that focuses on psychiatry versus psychology. I would also look for one which uses drugs as part of their treatment.
2007-04-18 07:14:22 · answer #7 · answered by Dave P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one...keep on praying.
But there does come a time when someone has to take a stand here......
I don't know the whole situation and it's none of my business but......someone needs to make an intervention here.
He's an adult and I know you love him......I would too if he was my brother. But drawing the line with an ultimatum may do the trick.
2007-04-18 07:08:05 · answer #8 · answered by primoa1970 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you need to have a good honest talk with your brother. alcoholism is not as easy to break you want to believe it is and praying is not going to cure him. if his drinking is seriously a problem check him into a medical facility. is there a reason he started drinking in the first place? he may need psychiatric counseling.
2007-04-18 07:11:35 · answer #9 · answered by just curious (A.A.A.A.) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold on, my friend! You brother will have himself redeemed. Alcohol is a big problem nowadays. We should all prey for our Lord to have all wounds spiritual and physical healed.
Hold on!!
2007-04-18 07:11:59 · answer #10 · answered by Mason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋