I need an alternative to time out?

Question

My 4.5 year old daughter was very tired and had been pretty rotten most of the day, so we informed her that she was going to be going to bed when we got home (about 1 hour before her normal bed time) since she was so tired and needed to rest. She says to us "Can't you just give me a time out and then when the bell rings I can go play?" We set a timer so that way they don't keep coming out of the time out area and asking if they can get up, which is working great. Does anyone have any suggestion on what might work?

I did still send her to bed,just to be clear. It just seems to me that it's not working b/c she knows that she'll get to go play in a few minutes.

Oh and I should have said we were like 30 seconds from the house.

Boy some of you people are really judemental, and apparently thick headed. I already put that she went to bed as soon as we got home, which was about 30 seconds later. If you must know the rest of the conversation I told her "No when we get home you will be going to bed. You have been cranky all day" And just because you were abused as a child and spanked for everything doesn't mean you turned out fine. I'm not going to spank her, especailly over something so dumb. Good grief some of you people need to take parenting classes because I bet you suck at it.

Answer 1

well i dont do the time out thing with my son.i do the take away game and chip game.
if he doesnt stop by the time i count to three he loses his----for the rest of the day ..and if he continues he loses something else..
the way it works is it must be something they realy like..
his school does a chip game that works good to..
you take poker chips and give her 20 to start with
now she has to buy everything like tv time dvd time ride a bike play out side what ever fits her
she earns extra chips by doing things before you ask her to do it.like chores pick up clothes puting her dishes in the sink etc.
now when she does things bad like talk back to you ,hit or kick things etc you take away chips. i count to 3 to warn him he is about to have chips taken away.at the end of the day you add up all their chips and she will put them in a container(coffee can works good)each day she can buy 30 minutes of tv or pc games or dvd.
and at the end of the week they can buy toys or a trip to a park or happy meal what ever you come up with ..
this works real good,my son loved this game it was a game to him so he followed all the rules of the game and was so hapy to get chips.. what i do with him is i take a way his play things instead of taking chip away untill they are all gone then i take the chips away..
you have to work the game around your child you set the amounts..
you can email me if you like information on what the school sets the amounts and their rules..
if you try it you will so love it,punshment with smiles you both will enjoy..

Answer 2

I think that the time out's are fine, she just didn't want to go to bed. Here is one alternative though.
If you have a couple of specific behaviors you'd like to eliminate, you give the child three tickets in the morning. You explain that each time they do a certain behavior, they must give you a ticket. If they lose all their tickets, they are in their rooms for the rest of the day. This is definitely beyond a time out and you do have to have a particular behavior you're trying to eliminate. And expect resistance at first, you just have to ignore the noise.

Answer 3

She is NOT the boss and decider of her punishment. if you said she's going to be early, it's not her decision to change it. This will just give her the thought that anytime she doesn't like the punishment you pick, she'll "ask" her way out of it by picking a punishment she "likes". Tell her, no means no and YOU ARE NOT backing down. She's going to bed an hour early because she's been bad and needs her sleep.

Answer 4

Sounds like she needs a nap during mid-day. Insist. The naughty mat on the floor works well. But enforcement upon behavior inappropriate/ and apology after time out on naughty mat a must. This targets problem behaviors, and also reinforces your authority and consistancy. The apology must be heart-felt.

Answer 5

The corner always irritated my daughter the most, try it. She got that attitude about time outs also. Also take things away from her and put them where she can see but not get and do it for at least 1 day and night, it is much more effective.

Answer 6

Not sure what you are asking.. your timeout method sounds like is working, so why an alternative?

How about tell her nicely.. "honey, you seem more tired lately, and we like you to get more rest. How about you go to bed earlier. You can stay in your bed awake, but no playing, with lights out. If you can do this, you can get a treat tomorrow." Give her a reward that she likes if she behaves.

Answer 7

I think your first mistake was telling her that she was going to get punished later. Kids need immediate consequences. I know this may be hard if you are out and about, but they dont really get the concept of whats going to happen later.

Answer 8

Obviously she is not taking the time out seriously if she actually ASKED for that. Sounds like you need to stick to your guns. You told her bed time. That should have been it.

Answer 9

Why fix what works? If it's working great, stick with it, it shows consistency. It also is great that your daughter is showing advanced negotiating skills. It sounds to me like you should be giving advice instead of asking for it.

Answer 10

My kids watch movies while in bed, I take them if they act up. I take tv, movies, their games, toys, play dates, parties, etc If you cant tell I TAKE THINGS! lol