Why do people put their kids in day care or hire nannies?

Question

They're basically letting someone else raise their kids. I just think that if you don't have the time to raise your own kids, you shouldn't have any. If someone is so focused on their work, how can they be good parents when they're never even around? I've nannied for several families who worked more than they were at home and it truely is very confusing for the children. So why do some parents do this?

Ok obviously I need to be more specific. I'm talking about the married couples who can live off of a single income, and the stay at home moms who hire nannies anyway. Sorry children have interrupted your lives!!!

I am having my own child, and not everybody needs to have a double income. I plan on staying home with my kids until it's time to start school. I refuse to let a stranger raise my child for me, just because I don't have the time to do it myselft.

Ok for the idiots who think I'm a freeloader. I don't have to work, my husband makes good money, and we don't live in an apartment. We have a home, working cars, and the baby i'm expecting will have everything he/she needs. I'm not living off the government. I'm not nannying anymore either, because I don't agree with the reasons these parents drop their kids off on me. Get it straight before you attack me.

Answer 1

i applaud you for choosing to stay home and raise your children. you can always choose to go back to work or school. my wife and i are considering doing the same.

Answer 2

Not everyone hires nannies to REPLACE them, although I know some who were better raised by "help" than by their parents and thank goodness for them!
I have hired nannies to help me be a BETTER parent to my 1 and 3 year old children. I have a very intellectually challenging and very fun job, but I also adore my children. I DO NOT want someone else actually raising them, but I do need help raising them and have no family to rely on. I never thought I'd want to become a mom and come from a small family with no pressure to have kids. Thank goodness the maternal instinct (OK hormones) kicked in in my early 30's! I LOVE being a mom, but even if I hadn't already invested 20+ years in my education and training and had enough education related debt to require my working part time for at least a few years, at this point I CHOOSE to work, because it makes me a better mom when I am with the kids and gives us a chance to miss each other for the 7 hours 2-4 times a week that I am away from them. My daughter is proud of my "taking care of the children at the hospital" and helping to train the next generation of doctors and hopefully setting an example of successfully blending family and work.

Answer 3

There's absolutly nothing wrong with daycare or a nanny. Some families get dealt a bad financial hand or the parent is a single parent. If you go over board and let your work take over all you do, then I see a problem. But it's not letting someone else raise your child(ren). It's called taking care of your family. Now if one parent can be at home and they have the luxury of being able to do that, then I believe in most cases that one parent being a full time parent is a good idea. But just because some people have to use a day care or nanny does not mean they are being lazy parents or opting out of their kid(s) life.

Answer 4

There is a huge amount of pressure on women today. We are expected to have it all. It is not a choice, it is an expectation. We need to be great mothers and have great careers. Many women obtain high levels of education and postpone starting families. If a woman does choose to have children she has to choose whether to stay at home, put her career on hold for several years and focus on her children or work and be accused of neglecting her children. I work with women trying to break back into the workforce after child rearing - it is VERY HARD. They lose a lot of ground by stepping out of the job market, not to mention the lack of a retirement plan. You really must have a large degree of trust that that your spouse plans to stay with you and support you forever. I can also sympathize, as I was a nanny during graduate school. I didn't understand people who wanted me to watch their children from dawn until dusk 7 days a week. But people live in different situations. I am blessed enough to be financially stable enough to work only part time and have time to be home with my children too. I have over 25 thousand dollars in college loans to pay back. I would have had to decide to be a stay at home mom at 18 to avoid these loans. My husband is a lawyer. Our marriage is based on love and a deep friendship that comes from shared interests. We both enjoy reading and critical analysis of current issues. Without both of our educational backgrounds, we wouldn't have much in common. The kind of professional who can support a family of four is unlikely to marry a partner with no education. Life is about finding a balance that works for you. I think people, women in particular should stop dragging each other down. Stop trying to validate your own life and the choices you make by critcizing someone else's.

Answer 5

I am a stay at home mother or 2 and only my husband works. when our youngest goes to kindergarden then I do plan on going back to work but only during school hours so I can still be home when my children are, I know what you are talking about mothers who dont work but take there kids to daycare anyway, I know a few people that do that. I dont understand why they do that, I feel as long as it is finacially ok for the mother to be home with the children then they sould be and not have them being taken care of by someone else.
But on the other hand if both parents have to work to support there family, then that's just what has to happen, as long as they spend all there spare time with there children than that is ok, I just dont support kids going to a daycare why there mother or father is sitting at home.

Answer 6

Well I had no choice but to hire a nanny. It was not my plan to work but my husband passed away so I needed to go back to work so I could pay the bills and afford the house. I do not spend the time at home I should, my job keeps me very busy but every minute I have free I spend it with my boys. But I found a nanny would be better as my children would get one on one with her other than in a day care where there are other children and they would the providers full attention.

Answer 7

I worked full time before I had twins 7 years ago, and now I'm a stay at home mom. For me this was the right decision. Although I can't imagine letting someone else be there every day for my child, I also cannot begin to imagine what someone else's life is like.

It sounds like you're asking why people that don't need two incomes, choose to work anyway. My answer is -- I don't know. But I also don't think I can judge others. What works for me might not work for someone else. I've heard some mothers say that they feel they're better mothers when they work. This is an individual choice, and only the families themselves can decide what works for them. It
s really not for others to decide.

Answer 8

I work and have 2 children. I work because if I didn't, we wouldn't have a house, 2 cars, or any of the other things that we take for granted every day. I cannot afford to live where I do and not work. I choose to live where I do because I have lived there my whole life and cannot think of leaving.

My husband makes 1/2 the money I do. I cannot stay home, he cannot stay home. We both work 40 hours and that's it. Yes I feel guilty for allowing others to raise my children, but this is the way life is today. I also do not have the patience or mentality it takes to stay home with the kids all day. I would go stir crazy within a month.

We choose who takes care of our children. If we do not like them or the way they care for them, we find someone else. I am sorry you feel that way, but it does not confuse the children. They know who their parents are, and they know who their other caretakers are.

Answer 9

I work full time as well as my husband and as of right now my dad watches my son who is 13 months old. However, once he turns 2 I'm going to enroll him in a 1/2 day daycare just for the simple fact that he has no siblings, and the child-to-child interaction helps their little minds to expand...being a nanny I would have thought you knew this, anyway, I mean I'm not away more than I'm home, but I can see how it can be frustrating to you being the nanny.
But I will say IMO day care is VERY different than a nanny.

Answer 10

Before having children of my own i was a childcare group leader. I had many children in care 5 days a week with parents that dont work.
My 5 year old son just started prep this year and was with me from the day he was born. I raised him all by myself ( no care I mean!!) My little baby girl is 8 months and has never been a day away from me. Now dont get me wrong I wiould never change that my son never went in care and my little girl wont be starting care for a few years. BUT..... it was very hard for my son when he started school as he hadent been away from me and i dont want my baby girl to be the same so i will put her in care probably the year before she starts school.

I can see why some parents put their children in care its simply to give them some social skills and maybe a little time out fot themselves. I do not agree however for children especially babies in care full time. I do not think babies under 12 months should be in care at all

Answer 11

Freeloader???? that's one I haven't been called yet, lol. I am right there with you. I know your question seemed to ruffle a lot of feathers, but how can anyone argue with your point???? Is putting children #1 really such a bad thing? That makes you a freeloader? My husband wouldn't have it any other way. See I know I am old fashioned and all, but we actually talked about how we wanted to raise our children BEFORE we had them. We also went through hell and back just so I could be home with them. Never once has my hero complained about being the sole provider for us. Like I said he'd have it no other way.

I do agree single parents, most of the time need daycare. Also duel incomes maybe required in certain parts of the country (LA, SF, NY...) However if you truly value your children, you'd find another way to stay home, such as working off shifts.

Sounds hard, but nobody says you MUST HAVE CHILDREN. So it's my opinion to wait until you can afford them. Or move to a place with a lower cost of living such as Texas, where everyone should be able to stay home.

See the real issue here is, the fem. movement is in full swing, and women think their worthless unless they bring in a paycheck. I've had someone on this very site, tell me I was upset, because I am not contributing to society like she was. HA, ya like myself being at home with my 3 daughters or her working a min. wage job.