Catholic question - How should I feel?

Question

Ok, so my family is not really fired up for religion. We go to church every Sunday. And my sister and I went to Sunday School when we were little, we taught it in high school, and now we are both helping with the Life Teen program. So I mean we are deep in our faith, but not as much as others.

Now, my sister just announced to the family that she is going to move in with her boyfriend of like 2ish years. They are not engaged, not married, but they are going to move in together. Family's not too too happy about it, and neither is the youth minister. He told her it would probably be for the best if she stopped coming to Life Teen because it would set a bad example for the teens.
Now, everyone keeps asking me, "what do you think about this." I honestly don't know what to think. I'm really glad she's moving out, but moving in with her boyfriend, I don't know. I know how the church feels. And I don't think it's ideal, but is it totally unacceptable? How should I feel? How would you feel?

I asked "how should I feel" because I wanted to see how others would feel in my situation. I was curious! I'm not asking you to force your opinion on me! So stop lecturing me on I should feel the way I want

The church is not shunning her. She is being asked to leave a program sponsored by the church. And I totatly support his decision to ask her to leave the group.;

Answer 1

As an older person in the group, the younger kids automatically look up to her right?

If she is openly accepting a lifestyle that totally goes against everything that the group stands for, why would she even want to stay part of it? Has she just justified it in her mind? Does she realize what she is doing?

The rules that we as Catholics are to live by are simple and in black and white. That is what I like about being Catholic, individuals cannot twist the words to fit their sins.

It is totally unacceptable I am sure to your parents and the Church, but you as her sister should continue to love her and pray for her that she realizes the mistake she is making before it makes her life much harder than it has to be.

People leave the Church and return to the Church all the time, God gave us free will. But you should not expect the Priest to welcome her with open arms to serve as a bad example.

THAT would be hypocritical.

Good Luck and God bless you all.

Especially your sister.

Peace!

P.S. Please do some real research, living together INCREASES the chance of a later divorce by 50% it does NOT decrease it like society tells you.

Answer 2

Both faiths eventually think within the identical matters. They are each Christian. Both faiths recognize salvation via Christ's crucifixion, each faiths think in an all-powerful god. Now the 2 disagree at the extra superficial elements of religion. Most importantly, baptists take the Bible because the literal and unquestionable phrase of God. They learn it therefor, it's real. Catholics learn the Bible as generally a metaphor, whatever that demands to be interpreted. Not to multiple from fixing a riddle. This change in interpretation ends up in many delicate variations. Transubstantiation, by way of St. Thomas Aquinas' purpose, is a combo of theological interpretation and Aristotelian good judgment. Baptists reject transubstantiation, on the grounds that it isn't, phrase for phrase, within the Bible. This notion is a fashion a number of the 2 faiths and on their disagreements. Also useful of no longer, except he numerous as an alternative delicate variations, their is a colossal change among devout tone amoung the 2 faiths. As I'm certain you'll be able to inform without difficulty from the responces, Catholics appear to be much less confrontational, at the same time the Baptists appear to be extra agressive. This stands to purpose that a religion that's founded of absolutes will probably be a bit extra fanatical and not more accepting of variations. While so much of Catholicism slightly recognizes the smaller Protesant denominations. In reality, so much Europeans have under no circumstances heard of a ultra-modern Baptist. So thats quite the clash in a simplistic nut shell. I could additionally like to notice that the Catholic Church has an excessively optimistic dating with Anglicans, Lutherans, and the Eastern Orthodox faiths. Interesting to notice, none of those faiths take the Bible actually eather. All those faiths have their disagreements, nonetheless it's by and large extra theological and not more fanatical, within the ultra-modern technology besides. As a Catholic, I have got to say that no religion is thoroughly correct or thoroughly mistaken. And I believe it's immportant and morally correct to admire the Baptist religion, appear at their ideals and honor its finer facets at the same time rejecting is worse characteristics. I real desire all faiths would respectfully disagree, however they cant.

Answer 3

Well, you probably don't want to rain on your sisters parade, because you may feel she wants at least YOUR support, and is getting enough disapproval from everyone else. Ideally, wouldn't it be a great thing if young people who are in serious relationships did things the best way possible in God's eyes? Too many times, people choose to do things THEIR own way, and go against the healthy and morally clean way that God advises for us, and that is when they run into problems. Having sex outside of marriage can produce a myriad of life-long suffering for all parties involved. Living with or shacking up with someone of the opposite sex without benefit of marriage can and already has affected her "reputation" and the good example she once set for other youths. But, she may choose to do it anyway, and not care that it displeased God or her family, and the only thing you can say or do is, tell her and everyone else, she has been warned that it may prove to be a mistake, but it has to be her mistake for her to learn from it, and you can continue loving her as a sister, but you do not have to support her decision, and when problems arise from her living arrangement, (and they will) then you can simply shrug your shoulders and say, " I tried to tell you". Playing house is for little girls with their dolls, not for when you are supposed to be grown and act responsibly. Just pray that she doesn't get pregnant before her and her playmate figure out if they want to become married. The world doesn't need another illigitimate child.

Answer 4

1.) The Church forbids cohabitation before marriage and calls this fornication. Do you honestly believe your sister has not had sexual relations with her boyfriend? In other words, she is fornicating already. Living together is an indication that they are willing to make a commitment to one another. I would see this as a good thing.

2.) The Church is placing greater emphasis on the outward behavior of your sister rather than her personal happiness or her qualities as a good person. They seem to care about someone's actions more than they do about what kind of person she is.

3.) The Church is effectively excommunicating your sister. They are cutting her off and wish to have nothing to do with her. She is being shunned. Please don't make the mistake so many others have made by choosing your church over your family.

4.) In judging your sister the Church is posturing itself on the moral high ground. When it comes to condemning sin the Catholic Church has no room to talk. It has committed countles atrocities against man in the last 2,000 years. I would think that with such a sullied past the Church would be more forgiving.

Perhaps this is time for you and your sister to reevaluate your relationship with the Church. Can you really offer your full support to an organization that shuns its members for behavior that harms no one? Can your sister truly feel comfortable volunteering for an organization that is so at odds with the way in which she wishes to live her life?

Answer 5

I nor anyone else can tell you how to feel. All I can tell you is what the Catholic Church advises in this situation and why.

The catholic Church teaches that sex before marriage is wrong. Simply living with someone is a VERY bad idea even if you never intend to have sex. Why place yourself into temptation if it is not necessary.

Your youth minister is correct to ask your sister to stop coming to Life Teen. It would be taken as an acceptance of her decision to move in with her boyfriend.

I have already told you why it is not a good idea for your sister to move in with her boyfriend. Sex outside of marriage is a bad idea for many reasons.

First, when you start having sex, you develop an emotional and phsical bond with the other person. A lot of trust is established when you start having sex. If your sister and her boyfriend break up after having sex, it will be much harder on your sister than if they had not been having sex. Your sister will feel betrayed and used and it will make it very hard to trust any other guys.

Second, sex is a sacred and holy act between two people that is meant to bring forth life and to strengthen the love of a married couple. Sex outside of marriage cheapens this sacred act.

But even if your sister goes ahead and moves in with her boyfriend, do not stop loving her. This does not mean that you have to approve of what she is doing, but she needs to know that you will always love her. Chances are very good that moving in with her boyfriend will end up hurting her and she will need your love.

Answer 6

I am a devout practicing Roman Catholic and can understand your parents feelings since my mother would feel the same way if I did anyting like that..

My personal feeling is that living together withouit benefit of marriage is wrong. No ifs, ands or buts about it. It's wrong! Not acceptable in any way shape or form. Either marry and live under the same roof or don't marry and live separately.

Unfortunately, the youth of today has a more carefree attitude about cohabitation. I must've missed it since I can't imagine living with the opposite sex without being married.

As to how you should feel, only you can answer that. Read God's Word to find out what He says. And pray. The fact that you question your sister's decision shows maturity, love and concern for your sister's well being.

Perhaps you should talk to her and find out why she's in such a rush to move in with him. There may be more to the story than your family knows..But love her no matter what. She is still your sister.

Answer 7

If I were in your shoes, I would be extremely disappointed. your sister, being the supposedly devout Catholic she is (?), should know living with her boyfriend out of wedlock is wrong and why it is wrong.

I am afraid the Church is right, it cannot have your sister serving as a role model for youths, when she is blantantly flaunting the rules herself.

That is how I would feel if I were you.

There is very little you can do about yor sister other than pray and, every so often and ever so "gently" remind her that you cannot approve of her living arrangement.

Hopefully sooner rather than later, she will come to her senses.

Answer 8

I believe that you know in your heart what the Catholic Church teaches on this subject. You can not dictate how another person live their life. What your sister is doing is her choice, her responsibility. You will never stop loving her, neither will her God. I understand where the youth minister is coming from, I don't agree with him. How you feel is up to your conscience. Don't cut the lines of communication between you and your sister. Just love her any ways and pray for her.

Answer 9

The real question is- are you a Christian, and is your sister? Don't answer -we are catholics. That just says which church you go to. Are you a Christian? If you are-then the Bible says that you are not supposed to have anything to do with your sister, you are not to eat a meal with her.

9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters; for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he should be an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. REMOVE THE WICKED MAN FROM AMONG YOURSELVES.
1 Cor 5:9-13 (NASB77)

This is very clear. Your youth minister should force her out of the group, not politely ask her. He should make a big deal of this -in public. Sin is a serious thing for a Christian-for an unbeliever it is nothing.

Answer 10

I'm Catholic too, we're not too religious either. At the same time she is your family and i think she needs support from you as her sister and friend since the church is turning a shoulder to her.
That doesn't mean that you may think what she is doing is completely acceptable, but it is saying that you're there for her and love her.