How does one stop fearing death?

Question

I'm so frightened of dying that I'm afraid it's become a phobia. I don't leave the house or drive anywhere out of fear of traffic accidents, I only eat certain foods etc. Lots of things. How do others come to terms with the fact of their death? How do you go on living, knowing that it's ultimately pointless?

I've thought about therapy and such to try and get a better handle on what happens when one dies, but no one can really scientifically prove anything beyond a doubt. So even when I had Christian beliefs, I kept thinking "Well what if they're wrong? There's dozens of other religions, how do I know this one has it right?"

This has really started to cripple my life and I need help. Does anyone know where I can start?

The problem has been compounded by my finding out I have Hepatitis C. I don't really have panic attacks, it's just that almost every waking moment, I think of death and dying before I get to see my 10 month old son grow up. :(

Answer 1

I am answering this question out of personal experience similar to yours. I also had (main word here, sweetie - HAD) a crippling fear of death as well. I found myself at times overwhelmed by obsessive thoughts about possibly not being here anymore - that at any given time I could be murdered, hit by a car, choke on something, have a heart attack, etc.... and it practically paralized my life. It was very very scary and I felt completely helpless and hopeless....

What I did was first focus on what exactly it was about death that terrified me. Was it the fear of how I would die? The afterlife, just the uncomprehensible concept of no longer being here? Once I focused on what the actual fear itself was, I was able to move to the next step.

I began then to study the afterlife - well, reading up on studies of Near Death Experiences. Yes I know that there are a lot of people who feel NDA's are completely false and just a figment of the experiencers imagination, but there are several scientific studies that prove this is not the case. If you do this, you will find that those who actually went through a near death experience no longer feared death after they awoke - that the actual "experience" was the most peaceful, wonderful and beautiful thing they have ever gone through in their life here on earth. Their are actually hundreds of personal stories out there from all walks of life (famous people, Christians, Buddists, Hindus, Catholics, Athiests, Homosexuals, children, etc...) that all give their personal account of what happened. They are almost all similar.

Here is a link to the site that lists all of these stories....

http://www.near-death.com/

After reading several of these stories, my fear of death and the afterlife began to change. While no one can predict their death, and the manner of which it will happen, I realized that there is honestly nothing to fear at all because death is as natural and beautiful as life. As a matter of fact, death is probably easier than life - life can be wonderful and terrible at the same time.

Statistically, the chances of you being involved in a fatal accident, or some similar "unnatural" death are slim. Most people will die of natural causes at an old age and by this time, many elders are ready to die and are at peace with it. They no longer fear it. They all may not "want" to die, but they accept it and are resigned. They have loved a long life and are ready for their next amazing journey.

Listen, I'm sure this answer didn't help much - you may need to go into more intense counceling and possibly consider anti-anxiety medication (though I don't recommend meds to anyone). If your quality of life now is suffering because of your fear, something definately needs to be done. You mentioned you have a baby boy? He needs his father to be strong and brave and protect and nuture him, not remain in the house afraid he may get into a highly unlikely accident. If you cannot fight the fear for yourself, find the strength to do it for your child.

My favorite quote of all time really rings true in your (and my previous) circumstance.

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Fearing Death

Answer 3

Every life ends in death. Accepting this is the first step to reducing the fear.
That does not mean that life is meaningless.
You know that when you eat a meal, you have to eat again. It would never occur to you, however, to just not eat because it's meaningless.
How to stop fearing death?
Focus your attention to the HERE and NOW living. You cannot change the fact that death will occur, so fearing it is the only meaningless thing you could do.
Therapy can help, and I encourage you to seek it.
The best that science has found so far is that energy cannot be created or destroyed, that energy is all-present and all-connected (read up on quantum physics).
So, the death you are fearing is only a transformation of the energy construct that makes up your physical body.
If you think of it, it's as silly as worrying about taking your clothes off. (Not meaning to be disrespectful here, just making a point).
What IS the point of living? It is to experience and share joy. Joy is the ultimate highest energy vibration. No wonder it feels better than worry!
Forget about religious beliefs. For someone who truly questions things and uses their brain, they will not work.
Consider that the human mind is much like a computer: GIGO.
Be careful what mental input you allow and encourage. If you input positive, joyful thought, the same will emerge again.
Therein lies the maintenance of life.

Answer 4

Honey, you can "what if..." yourself to death in a variety of ways about a variety of things...Please do not worry about something that you are probably years away from doing. You were blessed with a life, live it dear, to the fullest. Laugh, cry, make friends, go places, become educated. Pray for peace, those you love, and those who are less fortunate than you...

I had a real phobia when I was much younger...so much fear of death and loss...I honestly believe some of my problem was hormonal because I wept a good deal. Honey, you are probably more normal than you realize, and its good of you to speak aloud about this and get some feedback to understand we all have fears of one thing or another.

As humans, we are born, live and die. It really is, that simply. No one lives forever. The best lives are those that are LIVED dear, fully, and embracing all the foliables and issues that society heaps upon us as humans living together in a society. We can't always control the raging wars, natural catastrophes or others behaviors, right? -But we can control our own and what we have to offer others in regard to positive thinking and living.

I would, speak to a minister or counselor of some kind if this continues...I really would. Or spend some time volunteering at a hospital where there are some, with NO HOPE.

You my dear, have a huge opportunity to live and are well...cherish this, please...Start living!

Grace

Answer 5

Please see a Therapist. You now admit to being phobic which seems to have turned into another problem for you.

Agoraphobia is a condition which develops when a person begins to avoid spaces or situations associated with anxiety. Typical "phobic situations" might include driving, shopping, crowded places, traveling, standing in line, being alone, meetings and social gatherings.

Agoraphobia arises; from an internal anxiety condition that has become so intense that the suffering individual fears going anywhere or doing anything where these feelings of panic have repeatedly occurred before. Once the panic attacks have started, these episodes become the ongoing stress, even when other more obvious pressures have diminished. This sets up a "feedback condition" which generally leads to increased numbers of panic attacks and, for some people, an increase in the situations or events which can produce panicky feelings. Others experience fearful feelings continuously, more a feeling of overall. discomfort, rather than panic.

A person may fear having anxiety attacks, "losing control", or embarrassing him/herself in such situations. Many people remain in a painful state of anxious anticipation because of these fears. Some become restricted or "housebound" while others function "normally" but with great difficulty, often attempting to hide their discomfort.

Agoraphobia, then, is both a severe anxiety condition and a phobia, as well as a pattern of avoidant behavior.

Answer 6

Yes therapy would be a good idea. Right now you are wasting the life you fear you will lose. What is a life worth if not to experience all that is offered. Faith is just that you have faith and you live. Everything dies, but it's what you do with your life while you live that is important. You sound as if you have tunnel vision and can't see past your phobia. A good therapist will help broaden your vision so you can enjoy the life you have and experience all that it has to offer. What your doing now is like ruining your dinner worrying if the desert will be good. This is not a good way to think and will eventually take you to a very dark place. Get help and get help now!!!!!

Answer 7

Hi i am a 10 year cancer suvivior and i can tell you faceing death isnt that hard you have to make peace with yourself and accept whatever you decide on as your god.Im not a religous person but when i was sick i had a very moving experience .I was on the back porch and the wind was blowing because it was about to storm and although its hard to explain i felt like i was overwhelmed by a spirit .I have never felt so alive as i did at that moment.I actually felt like i was part of the wind and earth and everything else.I have never told anyone about this including my wife but i thought it may help you and u sound as if you need help.DO NOT BE AFRAID OF DEATH OR YOU WONT LIVE YOUR LIFE.If i go today i am ready and have no fear,dont listen to religous fanitics find your own path and when you do ,u will know and you will find peace.you may want to seek professional help if you feel talking to someone will help.hope i have good luck too you.

Answer 8

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
How does one stop fearing death?
I'm so frightened of dying that I'm afraid it's become a phobia. I don't leave the house or drive anywhere out of fear of traffic accidents, I only eat certain foods etc. Lots of things. How do others come to terms with the fact of their death? How do you go on living, knowing that...

Answer 9

The only way to stop fearing death, is to live your life. There's so much out there in the world, and so many people to get to know. Surround yourself with good people and friends who will encourage and be there for you. Do things that makes you happy. Give thanks for what you have. Everybody will die, but its how you live that's important. Go and get professional help if you think its the way to go. Find a church and maybe seek counseling from the pastor. Good luck!

Answer 10

One of the pastors at my church gave a sermon that stated to live for today and not the future. It came from a christian to say this but if you think about it, it's true. Be happy today for what each day brings......family, friends, sight, smell, touch, hearing etc. etc. Get your mind off of death because it will happen when it is meant to happen. Live for today! Get out of the house and eat the foods you like etc. but use good judgment on quantity, quality and variety. Counseling is always a good thing during stressful times also.