O.k...here's the dilema. so bf and i have been dating, roughly for over a year, physical for 4 mths, no sex yet. we have taken two breaks. so, length of relationship depends on who you ask.
there is an age gap, 8 years. he's the young one. our relationship is unique in that we bridge the age gap, really enjoy each other, and have lots of fun.
we have been talking more about having sex. he even said"it would bring us closer together". bad guy line? he also hasn't said, i love you. i know he cares alot by what he does. our relationship has moved at a snails pace. both very caustious people.
part of me wants to have sex with him. I am prepared but I am a virgin and didn't wait this long to sleep with the wrong guy. I am not waiting for marriage just the right relationship. i am scared. I doubt we will get married b/c he is chronogically young. so i am not sure if i want to have a sexual relationship with someone and we will depart in a 1/2 yrs.
thoughts? things i should think about?
2007-04-18 04:52:35 · 39 answers · asked by mrspres01 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
think about do you really love him that much. Its great u r still a virgin. Don't let it go to waste. Even if the years do not count, look if he is mature enough to have sex with u. Be careful, and, if your heart says DO IT, then do it and if it says NO , then don't. Wait a little more. sex is not just to say u did it or to make your partner happy, its only your special feeling. Do not rush. if he loves u, he will wait
2007-04-18 05:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by Joka B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you should wait. If you arent 100% sure and comfortable, then there is a red flag. You being scared and unsure is your conscience telling you to wait. You are right you have waited this long and you know for a fact you wont be together forever, so why give him something that special? He cares for you which is good, but I care for alot of people that doesnt mean I will sleep with them. Love is something sacred and if he doesnt love you but he wants sex from you there's another red flag. The age difference in my opinion is not that big of a problem, but however you will have a problem if you have sex with him. Men are naturally slower than women, it has been tested lol, so that means with him being the young one plus he isnt as mature as you already, if you were to have sex with him, that is like a ego booster for him. He is going to get in over his head because he can get sex from and "older woman". I suggest that you wait a while, and see what happens, dont give in to the lines, by the way that was a horrible line, how will sex bring you closer? Thousands of people have sex without connections, so I dont understand that. But anyways just talk about with him make sure he understands your part, and then if you feel comfortable then go ahead. Good luck
2007-04-18 05:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by cosmetologistbeauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait to be 100% sure. right know you like 90%. The more he pushes you to do it then the more you know that's all he's worried about. But if he doesn't sweat it, thats even better because he's more focus on you and your relationship. I'm concerned with the gaps in your relationship, though....
Why the gaps and what was he doing in between that time? was that his excuse to get some from somewhere else because he knows your not given it up yet? everytime he wants some will he run somewhere else? I take it he's not a virgin, or else you would have said so....
I would a little close at his actions, not he words. actions speak louder than words. If you have any doubts wait a little longer. If he all about you, he won't even care. Because just being with you will be satisfaction enough and you will be worth the wait.
2007-04-18 05:03:01 · answer #3 · answered by krazy_keysha_8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder how old you are? If you are both virgins and he's 8 years younger...I'm just curious really. My first instincts say wait. If you have to ask this question about him in particular, then he's not the right one to give your virginity to. I take it he's not a virgin? So he has nothing to lose. The thing is, you are the one with the power - it's your body and your virginity - which is a uniquely special treasure. When the time is right you won't have any doubts of the worthiness of the man you are going to give yourself to. Save it for Mr. Right. Good luck.
2007-04-18 05:01:23 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him about it. tell him how you feel.
thing is that sometimes people worry about things too much when all they need to do is talk to the person they are with.
i am sure he will understand, if he is a good guy, no matter what you decide.
in my opinion, this is a decision that needs to be made between the two of you together.
maybe set a date, that you will have sex if you arent ready yet...like so many months from now or whatever. or set a date to talk about it again, this makes it so no one feels hurt and thinks that the other "wont get around to it, so why waste time".
just my opinion.
( i am assuming you are both over 18?)
anyway, not telling you what to do, but i hope this helps.
2007-04-18 05:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay.. first thing you should think of is how old your bf is.... if he is extremely young.. it's not something you should really consider.. You have waited long to make love to the right person.. and because you care for this person.. you are ready to give it up.. but all I see is the age difference.. it doesnt seem as if this relationship will hold long.. and if that doesnt matter.. than go for it.. if you want someone to give it to.. that will stick around... then wait... or give this guy some time to grow up and explore his life and if he comes back to you.. then go for it... and maybe you two will stick together.. but one person in the relationship is young and immature... then they need time and space to grow up and explore life before they can decide where to settle down.
2007-04-18 04:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Foxy Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should only do something you are completely comfortable with. If it feels slightly wrong, don't try anything wrong. The age gap shouldn't be over considered (though if he is 8 years younger make sure it is legal. I won't ask your age). You will know when you're with the right person at the right time.
2007-04-18 04:58:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know if you are both over 18 or not so I don't know quite how to answer this because if you are not both over 18 then no, please wait, cause if you are over 18 and he's not then its illegal, so there shouldn't be hesitation about not to wait. The question isn't if he loves you, its: do you love him? If the answer is, "well, I really care about him", then no, you don't love him. After almost a year then you would know for sure if you truly love him or not. If you honestly are waiting for the right relationship then just wait til you know that you are in love (and trust me, when you know, you know!). Good luck with your decision!
2007-04-18 04:59:55 · answer #8 · answered by hillabee_is_me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is short. I think you are being overly cautious. Sex IS important in a relationship, you never know, it could turn things around for you, you said already that you get on really well, and i bet there's alot of chemistry between you. I say,for once , throw caution to the wind and indugle your self, enjoy him, think of him as a delicious chocolate you've been dying to try out and have your wicked way with him. You only get to live once, i bet you wouldn't be this cautious if you had only one day to live.
2007-04-18 05:03:20 · answer #9 · answered by Doris O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do him. Not very many people still think their "first" was all that great anyway. It's really not a big deal. Damn, I'm much more scared to get into a relationship period than to have sex. That's why I stick with F w/ Bs!!! Relationships usually lead to drama.
2007-04-18 04:59:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋