i have been seeing this girl, going out on dates with her for the past month, everything has been going great. last week we kissed and stuff and the rest of the night went well. then she started avoiding me though the day after and a few days later she left me a message saying she wants to date me, but does not want a relationship with anyone.
i just dont understand what the point of dating soemone is if it is not working up to a relationship. should i tell her how i feel about this and let her know im not interested in just dating with nothing else then a date in the future.
she just got out of a long term relationship a few weeks before we met, i honestly dont know if i should start talking to her less or if i should tell her that i am not itnerested in merely dating her for the sake of "having fun" with no chance of a relationship.
2007-04-18 04:22:14 · 14 answers · asked by Matt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think that you should tell her "i am not itnerested in merely dating her for the sake of "having fun" with no chance of a relationship." that is what i would do
2007-04-18 04:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just relax and take things slowly. Don't take anything personal here. After all, she just did get out of a long term relationship. She probably still has feelings for the other person. When you end a relationship, your feelings do not go away over night. I think that she should have given things more time before she started dating anyone. When things heated up between the two of you, maybe she realized that it really is too early for her to be seeing someone. Maybe you scared her off because you may seem too serious too fast. Now she is just backing off and putting some distance between the two of you so things can cool off and so she can avoid rushing into another relationship. She has come right out and told you that she is not interested in a relationship with anyone. This means that the two of you are not boyfriend and girlfriend. She is leaving the door open for both of you to date other people. Nothing wrong with this. She just got out of one long term relationship, she shouldn't have to jump right into another. She should date different people and find what she wants. Maybe she isn't in a hurry to settle down with one person. It could take a while for her to find what she wants. So if you can't handle the fact that she doesn't want an exclusive relationship with you, than you need to move on with your life and find someone else to be with. If you care about this woman, continue to see her and move at her pace. Be a friend to her. If you only end up being make out buddies for a while, then you will have to deal with that. Good things come to those that wait. Maybe later on she will be ready for a exclusive relationship with you. Don't rush her. Last but not least, part of being a real adult in a relationship is learning that everything doesn't have to go your way, relationships are supposed to be 50/50 after all. Good luck in deciding what you are going to do. Take care.
2007-04-18 11:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by cmg1977 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok well i understand what you are saying but you have to understand from her standpoint. I have been in that kind of situation before. I was in a long term relationship and when i broke up with my ex i didn't want to be in a relationship and i wasn't for a while cause i was hurt and i didn't want to get into an another relationship and the same thing happen. That is probably what happen and she just don't want that to happen again. Situation like this calls for patience my friend. It happpen to me and now i am so happy right now i have a girl that is perfect for me so trust me work with her and when she sees that you are forreal she will be for real with you.
2007-04-18 11:32:21 · answer #3 · answered by blaw7162000 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be honest, let her know where you stand. There's a chance you two might not talk afterward depending on eachother's personality. But you don't want to keep this locked in and just ignore her. Tell her you aren't looking for friends with benefits but looking for the real deal. Okay maybe not in those words exactly but you get the idea. If you are ready for a relationship the best place to start is communication.
2007-04-18 11:29:34 · answer #4 · answered by B.J. 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't force someone to have the type of relationship that YOU want. If she doesn't want it she doesn't want it and you will just push her away if you go along with it but secretly want more because it will eventually come out. Find a girl that wants the same things from a relationship as you do. Maybe she's like a lot of girls and the chemistry didn't work for her and now she's just letting you down easily. Some girls avoid telling a guy their not interested because they hate the confrontation aspect, they're wimps when it comes to hurting mens pride. Some girls date guys for months who they aren't in to anymore.
2007-04-18 11:31:15 · answer #5 · answered by magichanzz 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ask her what she ultimatly wants to gain out of the relationship by just dating....Maybe there is a justified reason or cause in her doing this...From what I gather youve assumed that this is not ever going to lead up to a relationship...maybe it will it just will take a time. Ask her....Remember relationships start from friendship(maybe this is what she wants to do by dating) it's very important to kindle something there not just grab the lighter and go youll end up burning yourself Especially if she just got out of a long term relationship.
2007-04-18 11:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by Ashlee K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is there any chance that you could be understanding and put her needs before your own? Can you love her enough to be in her sphere of influence without invading her space? Try not to think of her as a piece of meat to fulfill your fantasies; instead, see her as another human person behind those eyes, that is just trying to make it in this world just like you. If you really like her as a person, love her enough to look out for her best interests; then you'll meet her where she's at and not be so demanding.
2007-04-18 11:30:46 · answer #7 · answered by AnswerGuy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
what you need to find out is all she is looking for right now is only a friend not a boyfriend or anything like that because she could still be having problems out the relationship she just got over so just tell her that you will be there for her cause thats what she needs
2007-04-18 11:33:33 · answer #8 · answered by Chevy Girl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you answered your own question, but take heed of your actions. Perhaps you are thinking too far ahead of the game. Why not continue to date her, enjoy her company and see where it leads you? Keep your eye open for other prospects in the mean time.
2007-04-18 11:29:12 · answer #9 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think u should accept for the time being and love her so much that she would want a long term relationship... u can try for a month and see
2007-04-18 11:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by Rose 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋