Anyone grow up as a child in a military family?

Question

What were the pros/cons living in a military family? Was moving around from base to base an issue for you, or did you see it as an adventure? Do you resent your parents because they never really provided any roots? Was it difficult to make friends, or did you have an easy time? Do you think you got to spend enough quality time with your parents, particularly the one who was deployed? I'm more interested in how the military lifestyle affects the family concerning things they really can't control, such as moving. Not about what it was like living in a "strict" or "rigid" household. Thank You.

Answer 1

The military lifestyle can bring a family together or rip them into shreds. It can be quite thrilling and at the very same time unforgiving. After reading what everyone wrote, I agree with everything said. I went on and spent another eight years in the military after leaving the house. There is a lot that can be said about the quality and mentality of military folks. It is truly a brotherhood or fraternity that you pay dues to be a part of.

Now that I am out, I still am in touch with some friends from high school and the military. Those are the strongest relationships that I will ever have. To answer your questions, if you had three kids and asked them all that you would get three different responses for each. I think the important thing that you are in control of is promoting the family nucleus as the most important thing in their existence. Family is the only thing that will remain a constant in a person's military career, and that is not even a guarantee with divorce rates as high as they are. You really have your job cut out for you. You must make trips to visit Grandparents as often as possible and show them the importance of your family and where you came from.

I look at my parents now and I am grateful for what they did for me even though I was a hellion... ask the MP's in Camp Zama Japan about my rap sheet. I lived in five different countries across four continents and moved a dozen times before I turned 18, then two more countries and 4 more moves on active duty. This has given me amazing perspective and insight to the world, and I would not have it done it any other way. Home to me is where I lay my *** to sleep.

Answer 2

My dad was in the military up until I was about 5, but even after that we kept moving every 1-2 yrs, as if he was still a marine. The pros about living in a military family is being able to see the world, or at the very least a region of different people. I feel like I've been so blessed to live outside my "comfort zone" because, i really don't have one. The cons can be pretty much the same thing: moving. Sometimes, if you're at a place long enough, you start getting attached and when Dad comes home and says "we're moving" it sucks. I, for one, had to move during my senior year of high school and it was probably in the top 3 most difficult things i've ever had to deal with in my life. Though completely uprooting your life is difficult, no doubt, it also taught me about change and how life can throw curveballs at you and how to deal when that happens.

As for me, I sometimes wonder if I'll marry a military man. But, like the Unit, i tend to believe that the best husband is the military man because his devotion to his family and his country is so solid that nothing can break it. that's my opinion..

Answer 3

You learn how to adapt to new things a lot easier than other kids I think. I never resented my parents for it. Making friends is pretty much up to the person. The good thing about the military is that you make a friend for life, because no matter what at some point you will be stationed at the same post with that friend a few years later. The cons are that living on a military base/post, especially overseas sucks for kids. The military doesn't give a **** about the families. They provide sub-standard activities, services etc. Not to mention the DOD schools are the lowest of the low when it comes to education.

Answer 4

My father was in the navy and we moved alot. I personally enjoyed moving from one state to the next. I got to meet new people and see places that otherwise I never would have. I have lived in many states from alaska to maine. I continue to travel now that I am an adult because I enjoy seeing the nation. My kids a lso have see alot of the nation as we currently live in oklahoma they have lived in NY, TN, TX, and AR. They have been to many states to visit so they also have done alot of traveling. I dont feel like I missed out on anything. As for roots my family was my roots. Where ever family is there is my roots. I dont resent moving so much because it was always an adventure for us. We usually drove to the new place we were moving to so it really was an adventure. Today kids can maintain the friendships with computers. I am by no means an extrovert so it was a little scary when I was very young to meet friends however after the first day I always had friends. My father who was deployed would send home alot of pics and letters so that we did not miss him so terribly much. When he was home he would always make time for us.

Answer 5

My dad was in the Army and Marines and we moved from one end of the earth to the other. Between the 1st and 6th grades of my life, I had attended more than 8 schools. Friends wasn't hard to make, it was just hard leaving some of them. I really didn't understand the situation until I was about 10 and then I knew that I was really having the time of my life moving from one place to another. All the other kids thought it was great living in so many different places. We finally settled down when I was 13 and I swore that if I ever had any kids, I would not put them in that situation. It wasn't really that bad growing up, and moving around a lot. I knew that I was always have roots at one of my grandparents house. If I had it to do all over again, Yes I would. We didn't have much family time except on leave, but once you realize what your father/mother is doing, then it is worth it all and more. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 6

Growing up in a military household definately is different. I was lucky enough to only have to move a few times because of waht my father did. Friends were easy to make because everywhere I moved was military oriented and every friend I had knew exactly what I was going through. I never saw my dad for more than a few days at a time until he retired (his job was not like most of the people in). Because I grew up surrounded by the army, it's shaped the person I am today. My husband is Army and I am reenlisting for the army.

Answer 7

Growing up in a military house was an adventure. I loved being able to see the world at a young age. Most people can only dream of seeing the world or even part of it. I was able to live in some of the most beatiful places and meet interesting people. My parents made sure to spend alot of time with me but I also knew that my dad had to occasionally be gone for days, weeks, ect at a time but he always made sure to make it a special night when he came back home. Most people my age have never left their home state, I have been to 48 of our great states and I dont have the need to travel now so I can enjoy my children. I had no problem making friends growing up but generally when you are a "military brat" you are surrounded by others who are in the same position so you tend to bond together and support each other. Growing up military gives you a good perspective on life and living in general. I only wish I was able to follow in my father's footsteps and join the military.

Answer 8

I lived it and even wrote a book about it. It was fabulous. I visited places as a kid other kids only dream and read about. I lived in Vietnam, the Philippines, Texas, Germany, Texas, Germany, Texas. My family was not so strict and I cannot think of a detractor for us as a family. The one thing that my parents did different though was to make us speak the local languages (I speak 7 right now) and to assimilate as much as possible with the local population. The young soldiers I met growing up always were friendly and the bases we lived on were well policed and clean. I joined and made a career of the army and if you ask my daughters, they will both tell you it is the best upbringing anyone could have.

Answer 9

I didn't grow up in a military family but have friends and in law family members who did. Some loved it and some hated it. The scale is pretty much balanced in that area. What I can tell you is about the traits of those who loved it and those who hated it, which may be the bigger issue.
Those who loved it are extroverted personalities who love adventure, new things and spur of the moment activities.
Those who hated it are much more introverted, seem to need time and space to themselves more than an active social life and like to be able to plan and predict their life.
Perhaps those who are now extroverts became that way do to being brought up in a military family and finding it fun and exciting. And perhaps those who are introverted became that way because they found the moving around, etc., to be frustrating and upsetting.
So maybe the real answer is it depends on attitude and how you approach it. If you make a "game" out of it and are determined to see it as an opportunity for adventure and to make new friends, you will enjoy it and the rest of the family will develop that attitude along with you.
If you approach it with dread and apprehension, most likely it will not be a good experience for you and your family will not find it to be either.
Just my thoughts, for what they are worth.

Answer 10

I was raised in the military and if my parents had paid more attention to me and my sister, I would have been happier. Military or not doesn't make your parents nice or meaner. They are who they are. My parents didn't communicate amongst themselves or the children. The moving around a lot I see as a good thing now.
I loved going to Germany , Switzerland, France, Austria, castle hopping.

The changing schools in the middle of the year wasn't fun.
My parents things being more important in the house hold goods than mine and my sisters wasn't good.

It's all in the personality of your parents. If they are good people to begin with then you are lucky. If they don't acknowledge your existence in the first place, it won't matter where you live or who your friends are.

I don't resent it any more, dealt with that.
Communication is very important. Talk to your kids, have family meetings, discuss where you are going, involve them. Don't just move one day.

I loved moving, seeing europe.
That was great! Communication is the Key to happiness!