she ignores my attempts to call and emails and shes over 3 hours away. and i dont drive. should i give up on her ?
or should i keep writing her letters and stuff begging her to make ammends with me, ?
2007-04-18 03:50:38 · 8 answers · asked by Rachelle L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i found out she is stubborn like me, i also talked to few of my uncles and they said that she ignores them sometimes as well.
2007-04-20 05:10:43 · update #1
we met new yrs eve 2005 and it was all a surprise to her she had no idea.but i went with my aunts i found as well.they took me to her.
shes 3 and half hours away so i cant just go there anytime i dont have a car on road yet and it costs money to travel that i dont have..
2007-04-20 05:30:31 · update #2
Write her a letter, by hand, asking her if she wants to keep in contact with you. Give her various ways to contact you: mail, email, phone, you visit her, she visits you, meet on neutral territory, etc. Do not beg. Explain why you would like to keep in contact with her. Do not beg - it doesn't achieve anything and puts you at a disadvantage.
If she does not contact you then it is no use you pursuing her. Any relationship you had with her would be troublesome.
2007-04-18 04:02:03 · answer #1 · answered by Alex 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fact that she gave birth to you doesn't make her a good mom, or anything special to you. You have created this person that she isn't. She gave you up for certain reasons, those haven't changed, she didn't raise you, there is no special bond. Why do you think there is?
You got along great at the beginning because she probably felt guilt or pity for you, now that she has gotten over that there is no reason to keep in contact. The fact that you want her to make "amends" is the only reason she needs to not have anything to do with you. You feel she owes you something, that she wronged you. She doesn't see it that way, and the fact is she doesn't owe you a thing. She has her own life and you are not part of it, she didn't want you then and she doesn't want you now.
Sorry if this is brutal, but you need to get over it and move on with your life.
2007-04-18 10:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's wonderful to find a parent after such a long period of time, but I think, by what u said, that she might be scared now that she has met u, that she will let u down again and her only defence is to scare u away and not deal with the situation head on. I could be dead wrong, but she also may not know how to be a parent. give it time, she may come around. keep in touch with her the best u can, maybe she'll see that u want to be in her life, dispite the fact that she gave u up at birth. u may not know why she did that to begin with, but there could have been a very good reason.
2007-04-18 11:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by chercinbob 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all i am happy you found your birth mother. but it takes time for some people. your birth mom might feel like you both rushed into it and is just scared to tell you that she rather you take things slower. meeting someone for the first time in 18 years is a big thing to adjust to. she still might feel guilty about giving you up. don't keep begging her. just simply write one last letter stating how you feel and that if she further wants to have a relationship she has to make the first move in the future. explain to her that you are not giving up on the relationship but just can't keep putting yourself through the rejection.
i wish you the best of luck and i am sure one day she will want to renew the relationship.
2007-04-18 10:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by Blessed and Happy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know this is hard on you. My children went thru this while looking for members of their family on their fathers side. He was adopted. People live different lives. You dont say what your fights are about. If you or her are bringing up the past, it only brings up bad memories. The future is what is important. Write her and let her know how you feel. Dont hold her past against her, if you want a relationship. Love her for what she is today. Forgive her and let her forgive you. Bless you and good luck.
2007-04-18 10:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her time then go writing letters back 2 her.
2007-04-18 10:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by COOKIE 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hand write her a letter and ask her what has happened in your relationship.
2007-04-18 10:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by EmmaNicole 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
iT TAKES ONE DAY AT A TIME AND YOU GUYS HAVE TO GET USE TO EACH OTHERS WAY IT WILL WORK OUT
2007-04-18 11:12:30 · answer #8 · answered by Fruitful1 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋