How do You disipline a 6 year old with a bad attitude?

Question

I have a six year old daughter. Her natural father has nothing to do with her and her sister. They have had me to themselves for the last 6 years. Up until last summer. I met a man, and we moved in with him. My oldest daughter has been acting worse and worse for the last few months. I received a phone call from the teacher today, telling me that she has put Zoey in "seclusion" and has put her desk away from the other students as a type of punishment for the way she acts in class. I beleive that her natural father has a lot to do with the problems I am having with her. And I beleive that me having another man in my life also has something to do with it. But, I am trying to figure out how to get her to act better. She is a awesome kid when she wants to be. But she has her moments of a LARGE attitude and the I dont have to do as you say outlook on life. How do I respond to her actions, without being too hard on her and making her feel worse?

Answer 1

I remember when my mom started dating again after her and my father split up. My dad was still involved in our lives though. It was the same for me. I hated my moms bf and my dads gf. It's only natural. I remember feeling that they picked them over me. Of course, my mother really did do that, but my father didn't. My mother just put aside my feelings because she wanted to be happy. My mothers bf was allowed to get onto us, or spank us. This caused alot of tension. I acted out alot. If my mother had tried to spend some one on one time with me, and talked with me about things, like my father did, I may not have felt so upset over it. I think it has more to do with fear and jealousy over your new bf, I mean, she did have you all to herself, but now she had to share. Find some ways to interact with just her, and make sure you tell her how much she means to you and how much you love her as often as possible. Maybe have the new bf do something with her too. Good luck hun.

Answer 2

You need to sit down and talk with her. Remember she is at the tender age of 6, so she can change her ways before she's old enough to really do herself damage.

Find out why she continues to act out. Is it maybe because of the new man? Maybe she is scared, or she is just in a newer environment (having a father figure) and she doesn't know how to respond.

As for punishment, you should take away a toy or game until she can prove that she can act like a nice little girl. Keep doing this to her favorite things until she will get tired of acting out and hopefully be nice.

If this doesn't work, then I would suggest seeking professional advice from family counseling and have all your family working together to have a pleasant life.

I hope this helps, and best of luck to you!

Answer 3

You need to motivate her to good behavior. Kids this age can be motivated with charts that help them to receive new items they want, for instance if the child does all her chores for a week she gets 7 points and when she has 50 points she gets a $20 gift certificate for a store of her choice. Or you can use the immediate reward system which consists of ignoring completely bad attitudes and praising good behavior. This works for some kids but some learn to take advantage of your ignoring the bad and so there must be a point where you say thats enough-its best to really sit and think about it and what exactly you will put up with and what you won't.

As for school there are two things that come to my mind one is that the child is bored in class and so she gets into trouble, or the opposite that she is too far behind and feels she cant get caught up and has given up on it.

Six year olds are mouthy in the first place -all of them are. We tell our children that: "your mouth is getting you in trouble maybe you should close it". And soon enough they become the more "sophisticated first grader" as then she will turn into a prima donna-lol its fun, take a deep breath, this too will pass!! lol!

Answer 4

unlike a lot of the answers i think that hitting a child with anger issues is only going to manifest those problems even more !!!! i have my degree in education and what i find works best for this tough age group is positive reinforcement !!!! for example take something he really loves be it playing outside computer time etc whatever he really loves and use that to your atvantage. Take two small jars one that says the thing he really loves for example comptuer time and the other jar that says naughty behavior or no computer time anytime he is a good boy and does as he is told he can earn a stone or marble towards time for that thing he loves HOWEVER any time he is bad or shouts nasty things you take TWO stones or marbles away and he has to earn them back and he CAN NOT have his favorite thing until the jar is filled with stones or marbles. If you have to take more than 4 stones away give him a 6 minute time out (1 minute for every year old) if he coporates during his time out he can earn a marble or stone. Kids really respond well to a behvior plan that is surrounded by positive reinforcement !!! By encouragin the good behavior by rewarding it you are creating a better mind set and attitude for your child to have. Another great thing is to use a green yellow red system like a stop light you start on green and for every time you do a bad behavior you get moved the first time you move to yellow its just a warning and when you have a bad behavior again you move to red resulting in some sort of punishment ie time out or take a toy away etc. I use this in my classroom and it works wonders !!!!!

Answer 5

I have a six year old that wouldn't sit and talk to me if I tied her down so asking her what the problem is might not help. Trying to get her to act better isn't going to work either. You have to first let her know that you are the adult and that you will not tolerate her behavior. She is probably feeling very confused and her feelings are hurt. Show her constant love even while being stern with her behavior. Taking her to see a child consular would be a very good idea so she has a place to vent. Tell that teacher to put your child's desk back that seclusion will only increase her bad behavior because she will have to act out louder to get her attention. It will also break her self esteem down because now she has been pointed out as the "bad" kid in class. Good luck.

Answer 6

Just a suggestion but make a chart of things Zoey does on a daily basis brush her teeth, go to school, make her bed, get dressed, do her homework etc... and use somewhat of a points system to reward her good behavior and also mark her bad behavior so she can see the difference. I would do a full week and use stickers or smiling faces and frowns to keep track of good and bad and then at the end of the week she gets a special reward if there are more good then bad or however you decide want to do. northing extravagant but maybe you will play a game of her choice with her or you will make her a special dinner or she gets an extra 1/2 hour of tv time. When she does do something that woudl be considered misbehaving not only mark it with a frown or sticker or whatever you decide but she looses something she values tv time play time game time a junk snack also you can use time outs not that they always work or when everyone else is watching tv she has to sit quietly in her room think of things that may bother her to loose. I hope this helps and good luck!

Answer 7

Her world has changed greatly, things are different now and she may not exactly trust that this is a good change.

It will just take time. I remember when my mom remarried after many years of it just being us, I hated my step dad, he was a wonderful man who I now respect and love with all my heart but I hated that man with every thing in me. every time I got into trouble it was only because of him and well if it went wrong well he was behind it.

It is just going to take time and work a whole lot of work. she feels threatened that you might love him more there are really so many ridiculous things that go through a child's mind when they are faced with these types of changes. She is just going to have to learn that no matter what both of you love and adore her and even if you have a kid together she will still be loved just the same.

In the mean time you can't allow her to be disrespectful to the teachers and disrupt class and be disrespectful to the people who live in your home.

You have to discipline her. That is all there is to it. You do the discipline. And make sure you are very clear as to why you feel she needs this discipline. Stick to the discipline and make sure the discipline lasts longer than the attitude other wise you are just waisting your time in doing so.

Answer 8

Communicate with her and spend a lot more time with her. She needs attention. Children need attention, lots of people act like its a bad thing, but children need a lot of attention to grow. Talk to her about why she is acting the way she is and don't yell but teach her why she shouldn't act that way. If its really bad, children need to be punished, punish her and explain to her why she is being punished. Just make sure you tell her you love her a lot. Little girls NEED male attention, the father is supposed to be giving it to her, because she isn't getting it she is stressing out. Its not her fault, so don't yell at her or make her feel wrong. She is just looking for your love. Compliment the things that she is good at more often. And dont spend a lot of time on her attitude.

Answer 9

she doesn't have a bad attitude, she's just extremely gifted in some way. kids like that usually have a lot of talent. enroll her in some great extra-curricular activities. scold her when she does wrong, stop spoiling her (not saying that you do), and make her put all her displaced anger into something great. you are a grown woman and you don't have to answer to a 6 year old about your love life, so don't worry about it.

as for the moving in with a man part, i probably would have waited until he proposed and the situation looked permanent. kids aren't stupid and your little girl probably feels some distrust from this guy or you for putting her in this situation. i was six once and i remember what it felt like to not trust "outsiders".

Answer 10

Your daughter is dealing with anger issues here. She is obviously doing this for attention. You need to get her a theripist to help her work through some of these issues. I am not sure that you moving in with a new man has helped the situation but since you have now you will need to try and understand her needs and put them first.