I have been going through alot lately. I have finals coming up, and of course the end of the semester work load. I have Praxis tests soon as well figuring out summer classes I have to take. I have a minimum wage job working with kids that I like, but I am not making enough money. My boyfriend is away travelling alot lately. A parent of mine has caught drinking and driving and has to spend a total of 30 days in jail, which will cause them to lose their job...they are also very depressed and have been but our insurance wont cover anything but the regular doctor and they have failed my parent over and over throughout the years. My other parent and I are trying to keep my younger siblings clueless to the jail thing which is stressful. I just feel like alot is on my plate, Im only 19. My other parent doesnt want me to tell anyone about this but its hard not to talk to anyone. My bf wouldnt care anyway, if i tell him im stressed he just says "dont worry about it"-hes no help.....
2007-04-18 02:38:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My question is how do I relax? I am so worried about everything and have no one to talk to...I cant go to councelling..we cant afford it so any tip that can help me..please let me know..thank you
2007-04-18 02:38:55 · update #1
Sometimes it helps reduce stress is to consider helping someone who is less fortunate than you.
If you are you in school, you may want to consider going to a counselor to see if they can help you with time management and help you find a way to help balance your life.
At this point, you need to concentrate on YOU.
Another thing, I don't think it's fair to not tell kids if a parent is in jail, but it's not up to me.
Although, I have to say :ONLY 30 days in jail for drunk driving?!? My husband is in prison for 7 years because he was in possession of his mother's prescription he was picking up for her at the pharmacy. Because of his past drug use, they don't ask questions, "just lock them up!"
This are stressful, but concentrate on yourself, write in a journal, create goals for yourself and work towards them. Next year you will be able to look back and see the small accomplishments you have achieved. It helps me through these times with my husband in prison.
2007-04-18 03:11:15 · answer #1 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please understand that there is no quick fix to these problems. I can see your delema. Are you living at home (I am assuming you are)?
First things first. Your education is first and formost. Put your energy into your study. This will not deal with the problems, but it will help your future. Your parents will have to work out their problems (I know they are our family, but you have your own life and you MUST live it in a way that is best for YOU). You can not control what has happened in the past, so look to the future in a positive way.
Money is always important in everyday life, so just keep plugging away at your job even though it doesn't pay so much. There is only one you, so know that you can only do so much.
As far as counciling, often there are free counciling services available. Check your community services or your school for that.
Your boyfriend does not sound very supportive, so be strong within yourself and do not give up your dreams.
Stress is something we all deal with. How we deal with this is our choice. It is not bad to feel stress, it, however, does no good to hold it. Try to find a release for it. Paint a picture, jog, play music, punch a pillow, dance in the rain, do something to put it out of your mind. It can only make you sick. You are not responsible for your parents mistakes. Be responsible for yourself. Set small goals for yourself. When you have done that, set another.
2007-04-18 10:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by Chardo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi... i'm sorry you are under such stress, and your boyfriend is right... you need to focus on other things.
Your family has a lot of problems, but focusing on things you can't change is causing you quite a lot of worry. It's not healthy and it won't change things, hon.
If your parent has alcoholism, and you are coping with family problems because of it, consider doing a websearch for ALATEEN or ALANON. These are groups for people whose lives are affected by living with an alcoholic, and they have quite a lot of good advice.
Your younger siblings need to know where your parent is, and WHY... perhaps this will teach them a life lesson, and they will think before they drink and drive when they get older. They might find out from someone else (perhaps another kid in school) anyway. Why lie??
You need someone to talk with. If you have an relative or family friend you respect and trust, perhaps ask them if they can listen to you.....
Since you are 19, you are of legal age. Most counties offer free or reduced price mental health services for those with minimal or low income. Therapy works wonders.
i hope things work out. i have posted a couple websites on coping with stress for you.
take care of YOU. hugz
2007-04-18 09:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first things first get rid of that no good boyfriend of yours. if he cant be there for you then he shouldnt be there at all. u r young at 19 you will find someone who actually cares abt ure fillings. just concentrate on ureself and forget the problems you r havin with ure family. go out and do the things that u like, that make u happy. what do u need to make money for, u dont pay rent or any bills so stick with ure job. take ure siblings out once in a while. a ride at the park is free
2007-04-18 09:46:43 · answer #4 · answered by SHARON K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, your parents issues are their issues, not yours. You can't solve their problems and you can't live their lives. They have to take responsibility for their actions. You have to concentrate on your own life. Your parents should not be putting their problems on your shoulders. Don't let them do that to you. Sometimes we have to shut out people we love in order to protect ourselves. That's not always easy but it is necessary. And it doesn't make you a bad daughter.
If your boyfriend is not supportive, you may want to re-think the relationship. Why keep him in your life if he's not there for you when you need him the most?
Concentrate on what you need to do for you. Prioritize your work load and get yourself through your school issues. Let everyone else take care of themselves. Most colleges have some kind of support system for their students. There should be some kind of guidance counselor you could talk to there who can help you sort things out. This should be a free service to students. Take advantage of it. Put yourself first and let everyone else fend for themselves. Going forward, this is a very valuable skill to learn and will help you through the rest of your life.
2007-04-18 10:18:25 · answer #5 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do have alot on your plate, take a deep breath, soak in a hot bath(with bubbles) unwind, close your eyes and think of nothing! Your working, your helping your family and doing the best you can, you should be proud of yourself, it's alot of responsibility and your handling it. Be strong and this time shall pass, with happier days to come. Have faith in yourself - your doing great!! Think bubble bath....it works wonders
2007-04-18 09:52:46 · answer #6 · answered by berrie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you aint the only one with that problem. I have that too but i just relax and attack each problem one by one.
2007-04-18 10:14:21 · answer #7 · answered by Sexy Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋