We are in a serious, but newer relationship. She was a semi-"party" girl, but we fell in love almost instantly. I have two little girls and she does not have any children. Both of us have been married before. I have the girls every other weekend. She goes out from time to time "with her girlfriends". Most being single and party'ers. This past weekend was an overnight stay at a hotel. They all went out, some guys met them out, and one actually came back to the hotel, but stayed in another room. I trust her 100% but I have mixed feelings with this event as well as upcoming excursions. She says she will be doing this about once a month. How should I feel and what should I be saying? I like to think I am not that jealous, but I think everyone is to some extent. i just want to say and do the right thing.
2007-04-18 02:00:05 · 6 answers · asked by lifeofpain67 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that if she does not show you any reason not to trust her, let her go out and have her fun. You are in a new relationship, and she can't just give up her friends and lifestyle b/c she's with someone new. If they are w/ other guys, why don't you see how she feels about you going with (not to watch her, but because you like spending time with her, and want to have fun also, but don't be offended if this is a "girls only" night out). Some women just want their time w/ their friends, and there's nothing more to it than that. In her past relationship, she might not have been able to be independent and go out and do what she wanted, so she doesn't want to lose that freedom again. Like I said, trust her, let her have fun, unless she proves that you can't trust her. Good luck!!!
2007-04-18 02:07:43 · answer #1 · answered by Chiquita 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a little strange to me. I guess she has the right to go out and party when she wants to, but how would she feel if the situation were reversed? Even if her intentions are good, if there is drinking and partying going on, how long will it be before she has one drink too many and forgets that she is committed. I think the overnight stay is pushing it just a little too far, and certainly so with other men invited. Has she ever invited you to one of these outings? Obviously men are allowed so maybe you could get a sitter next time and join her. Maybe just dinner and drinks would seem more acceptable if she insists on going alone. Jealousy shouldn't be confused with common sense.
2007-04-18 02:14:27 · answer #2 · answered by Mikey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am a 33 year old divorced woman and I love to party with my friends, but I also like being in a relationship. I have to admit that I do have some baggage and I am a bit afraid of losing all my friends again and relying solely on another (man) for my happiness. I say give it some time, trust her (unless you have very good reason not to) and wait it out. She may fear being hurt or maybe she's afraid of losing her independence. I hate to say it, but most of us 30 something women have been around the block and know what we want. Most of us know that we have to make ourselves happy by doing what we want to do. If you can't wait it out and trust her then perhaps you 2 really shouldn't be together because partying is a lifestyle and if your lifestyles aren't similar, then perhaps you are better off finding someone more suitable to you. Good luck!! I know for me, I haven't found anyone that I want to settle down with...therefore, she may not really be "into you." Also, be very leary of instant love or attraction...because it usually doesn't last!! Good luck!♥
2007-04-18 02:10:27 · answer #3 · answered by Siren_Cin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
really, if you are not comfortable with her partying, then you need to tell her. in a new relationship (especially one that ivolves young shildren) it is VERY important to be completely honest.
first, you need to think long and hard about how this is effecting your girls. you may only get them every other weekend, but they still care when dad brings a new girlfriend home, and even though they have a mother, it could create confusion in their young lives by having a constantly changing woman on the other side. if this woman isnt willing to be a mother to your daughters, then frankly, i dont think that you should consider a real relationship.
that is something that you need to keep in mind during all dates. this woman sounds like she is not ready to settle down and commit. while i wont pass judgement either way on the issue of cheating, i will say she is not ready to be as committed as you would like her to be. my suggestion is, talk to her. if she says that she is not ready to settle down at least a little(cut out the overnighters) then i dont think your relationship will work. first and formost should come your daughters and the question "what example am i, or my girlfriend, setting?" you ay not have them all of the time, but children are perceptive to what their parents do, even if the parents dont think so.
i can tell you from my personal experience and experiences of friends that this relationship should end if she is not willing to cut back a little.
2007-04-18 02:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by .life.love&happiness. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since she's been in a relationship that did not last, she undoubtedly does not want to repeat that. by asking this question, maybe you don't trust her 100%. don't expect her to stop her life to be with you. she's an adult and has her own mind. men are allowed to go out with the guys and leave the women at home, but women can't leave the men. love at first sight is usually infatuation. if she really cares, she'll decide she wants to be with you and will voluntarily give up her weekends. she needs her space now. don't force the issue or you may chase her off.
2007-04-18 02:19:31 · answer #5 · answered by wendy_da_goodlil_witch 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, buddy! Wake up! She's still playing the field. You're the backup guy until she finds something better.
2007-04-18 02:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by Pepper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋