Does anyone else out there have a kid who is not cool?

Question

We have been talking this morning about the pressure on the young kids now to be cool. A few of us have avoided going down the trendy path just yet, but are now feeling pressured to jazz our kids up a bit to fit in!!

The kids are seven and eight, like jeans, tops and playing. No interest expressed yet in IPods, pop music, fashion clothes etc. They are not being alienated just yet, but are in an increasing minority!

Answer 1

I suppose it depends upon your definition of cool.To me cool was reserved for the kids who had the courage to be them self.How can you think someone is cool simply because they are a slave to every trend or fad. Cool is knowing your friends like you because of who you are not for what you have.Cool means your child has developed a sense of his own worth as an individual. Cool is a person who has the confidence to do the right thing even when others are afraid to.Unfortunately my definition of cool is not the typical one.I think maybe it is about time we redefine what cool is.Bravo to your kids for having the courage to just be themselves.

Answer 2

Why would you want to make your child popular? Is that how you base what kind of person they are? I doubt you do. In fact, I know you don't. Kids don't have to be cool, they don't have to be popular. The best thing for kids as far as that area goes is that they are happy. Do the kids that are unpopular have at least one or two friends that are very good friends? Some kids don't need a bunch of friends to feel good about themselves. What you need to do is give them a sense of fitting in at HOME. What happens at school is really out of your hands unless you go with them.

Some kids are greedy and that's why they beg for all those extra things. Or they see their friends with them and want them too, your children are very young yet. Wait a few years and they may just start asking for all the "cool" stuff too! My son is 8. He does have an expressed interest in music. But you know why? Because I do too! I used to be the one in the family who knew about the music but now if I have a question I go to him! LOL But that doesn't make him any cooler at school. I don't know if he's "popular" or not. But I do know he has about 5 or so friends that he plays with every day. When we go out people always say hi to him. But you know what? That's because he was raised with dignity and self respect. He knows how to be polite and tries to be friendly with everyone. He always gives people the benefit of the doubt which sometimes gets HIM into trouble! You're kids are not alienated, they are just regular kids. Usually the kids don't get into fashion and all the gizmos until a bit older.

You know why kids want all that stuff? Becuase they see it on t.v. and in the world. It's just the way it is. Your kids are probably really great kids and I'm sure you're doing a great job. Don't worry about what they want or don't want. Give them what they need. Love is a great place to start and I'm sure they have that!

Answer 3

I think you have done very well to keep your kids so level headed for so long - my daughter is 9 and its hard - i didn't have any of the "in" things as a kid and was very alienated and bullied at school because of this - so in the reverse my daughter has pretty much all she needs to keep up and be popular - yes this is a very shallow way of bringing her up - but she is still an individual - she is a rock chick they are all R&B she wears black they wear pink - she has an i-pod and a PS2 and a nintendo as well as all the faddy things that come out so she fits in. I think in the next year you will notice an increasing difference in your kids - in a way though i hope they stay the same - its nice not to have i wants - dont get me wrong my kids never i wants - but then i probably buy before she needs to. Being a parent is so tough - you just never know if your doing it right or not.

Answer 4

You should be more worried about whether your child is happy than whether they are "cool". Seven and eight years old kids really shouldn't be that interested in ipods, pop music, fashion clothes etc.

There is enough pressure on kids to be "cool" from other kids, they don't need to get pressure from their parents about it.

Just let your kids be kids and enjoy their childhood.

Answer 5

My son is eight. Basically if i like the clothes i buy them. It doesn't matter what the make is. He has Next, Quicksilver, O'Neil, Tesco, Asda Gap the lot. If he likes a certain item and i can afford it at the time i buy it. I try not to buy because they are the 'inn thing', i buy because i like the garment and it suits him and he likes it too. Both i and my husband do our best to not let society get in the way of what is aloud to be warn and what isn't because it has gone out of fashion. Our son really doesn't have a clue that say Next is dearer of better or worse than Tesco! I think that is the way to go. In time these things will crop up and we will give our opinion and let him deal and think what he thinks is right, just like everything else in life he will meet and hopefully overcome and work out.

Answer 6

I wouldn't worry too much at this age. I would worry more about building their self confidence in education, arts, and sports. A child can have all the toys, trendy clothes, listen to the coolest music and be the hippiest kid in school, but, she/he can still suffer from low self-esteem without a parent that cares to focus more on the child's inner image.

My eighth grader goes to school with many children, whose parents went out of their to make their children cool and it can backfire! These children go full steam with their permissive parents and wind up running large cell phones bills, get harrassing comments on myspace and text messaging and have overall poor attitudes with adults. The worst is that many gain bad reputations (I have heard the terms "slutty" and "easy" used for some girls and they're in middle school) and have to change schools.

Just a word of advice, keep them as normal as possible, set reasonable limits, and they will be fine.

Answer 7

Keep them away from all the consumer stuff for as long as you can! Your kids are still really young and they're happy anyway right?. My son is 5 and I think they have to grow up far too quickly these days. Don't feel pressured to do anything with your kids just because other parents are.

Answer 8

I wish more children were like that. With all of today's technology kids don't have a chance to be kids any more. Catch lizards, play board games (remember those), and ride there bikes. They all want to be in the house on the computer or glued to a handheld video game. Their poor eyes and ears are going to gone before we know it. Good for them for being themselves. They will be just fine.

Answer 9

OMG, my 7 year old barely knows what an Ipod is. And even if she did, she wouldn't get one. Pop music??? Are you serious? I would just die if she saw any of these videos of slutty "pop princesses". Fashion clothes? Do they sell those at K-mart??? lol And what is up with making American Idol for kids? I don't watch the show myself because its stupid, but did you know that the next round of happy meals is going to be American Idol themed? And they sell all of these "toys" with the American Idol theme? I don't think American Idol is that negative. But I certainly wouldn't associate it with children!

Answer 10

I think they are fine. They will find friends who have interests that are like their own. Not all children that age are into that stuff. Wait and see if they ask for it. If they start to feel left out they will come to you and want something the other kids have. If they don't ask then they are fine and don't care - or the other kids don't make a big deal about it.