Met a guy around 3 years ago, we were like best friends as well as lovers. He 28, me 23. He wasn’t too sure about having any commitments at that stage in his life. He messed me about in the process with broken promises due to his inability to commit. He said he wasn’t in the frame of mind for a relationship with any1 right now as he is isn’t sure about having commitments as he wants to focus on his career, other activites & just wants some space from relationships. So I gave him 1 last chance to tell me exactly what he wants as I have an opportunity to start seeing some1 else? And he still said that we should be friends as I deserve the best & he cant give that to me right now. If he were to be with someone it would be me but he isn’t looking for a relationship at the moment, so I told him that there was no going back after this.
He still tried to be friends by callin me every week or so to see how I was.Obviously just so that he could still have a chance when he is ready “!
2007-04-12 23:55:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don’t think so”! So I told him that I would prefer if we jus went our separate ways as I needed to move on.
Now 3 years later we have started talking again, he 32, me 26 I am doing even better than b4 I have also just brought a house& he is wanting something serious. I understand that he didn’t want a relationship then & that he wasn’t ready, but still cant get over the fact that he couldn’t have felt that much 4 me to let me go, with someone else knowing that I could be sleepin with them & even just taking the risk of loosing me all together.
Back then that was what made me find the strength to move on, as if he really felt for me he wouldn’t have had to even choose between myself and being single??
So wouldn’t I be very foolish to take him back?
I have absolutly nothing against him and dont mind being friends but nothing more as he had his chance many chances!
2007-04-12 23:55:53 · update #1
He is also very confident and cocky. I have nothing against him but feel that he had enough time to make up his mind and back then 3 years ago even said to me that I would be an asset and quality and shouldnt really be letting me go and that it is his loss! but he just doesnt want anything serious right now, and now he does?
2007-04-12 23:57:47 · update #2
You have the right idea, and it sounds as if you already made your mind up. I don't think you even feel anything else for him than friendship. He was not into you than, and now you don't sound like your into him. follow your heart, and stick with it. he sounds as if he is a user, and he was right in the begging when he told you you deserve better.
i learned the hard way about not sticking by what my heart and head were telling me. it ended badly with hard feelings on both ends and we would have been better as friends.
anyways be Friends, but don't let it go farther than that better is waiting for you
2007-04-13 00:16:00 · answer #1 · answered by mynameismebutidontknowdidit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, You are the one being foolish. Im sorry to say this, but you have to understand what is going on through his mind. You have to understand what he is going through. He wanted to be friends for the time. Think about it. He is being a very mature person. Which would hurt more? Him going on being with you and not keep any commitments because he isnt ready, or by remainin friends at first until he is ready to commit. You should really know that he is most probably thinkin ahead into the future. He doesnt want to see you hurt. Thus he doesnt want any commitment yet.
You are now 26 years old, you have grown an extra 3 years after the incident AND you still havent given up on this grudge? This is very childish of you. If you don't want to give him such a chance to be with you again, then don't. But you cant turn down his friendship cos, tht'll be very selfish of you. At least be a friend.
Think hard on what i said. Act like a grown woman now, and I wish you all the best
2007-04-13 07:14:54 · answer #2 · answered by XI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both seemed a little young to get married back then, now he is a bit older and HIS "biological clock" is ticking in his head. Plus he wants to get some from a younger woman. Statisticallly, three years later even if you were married you would probably be divorced, so he wasnt taking too much of a chance, and actually there are many many women out there, one not a whole lot different than another, so its not like he was giving up his last chance.
2007-04-13 07:02:54 · answer #3 · answered by tomhale138 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are over him, it is his loss. At least he was honest about hi intentions. That sounds like good grounds for a friendship. If the friendship develops into more, fine. I definitely would not rush back into him arms without feeling the situation out first. Tell him you are not quite ready now. Give friendship a try and see where it goes!
2007-04-13 07:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldnt take him back, because he had the chance to be with you. Like you said your life is better right now, and I think you should see someone else. Also don't take my advice, or anyone elses advice, you should do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. Good Luck :)
2007-04-13 07:00:39 · answer #5 · answered by I ? Colbert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey ... this guy is seeing someone already.... im sorry and u know, just like I know, that you will be, or have already wasted enough time on this, sorry to say ' FOOL', you sound so head strong and like you fighting hard to have your shyt together. He is missing out!!!! Baby girl consider it his lost. And move on to bigger and better things... And by the way you just bought your own house... just like me girl... enjoy... And keep going for yours!!!!
2007-04-13 07:06:16 · answer #6 · answered by SexyCole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if u want him you should take him back. He obvoiusly realises he wants u and has had the time to think about it, and has obviously come to the descion where he does want to carry on with you, and if u feel the same way u should take him back!!
good luck!
2007-04-13 07:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have already got the answer... you don't want him back from what i have read...
But then ya never know, people change, people grow up and they say everyone deserves a second chance...
But honestly it sounds like you have already made up your mind
2007-04-13 07:01:37 · answer #8 · answered by Harmz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously not as mature as you are, and being older, that is not a good thing. I would not let him back if it was me, especially if you gave him a serious choice and he turned it down.
2007-04-13 07:05:39 · answer #9 · answered by prismpalace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up girlfriend. Don't let this guy mess up your life again. You've regained your dignity. Don't let him trample on you again.
2007-04-13 07:01:13 · answer #10 · answered by thatsraven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋