I still f***ing love him!What do i do?

Question

Well, i've been dating this man for about 5 months. in the beginning, of course, everything was fine, everybody was happy. Then he started getting away, and we "broke up", on his request. Hecame back afetr a week, but actually nothing had changed, he still wentout without telling me where he is, we kept meeting having his life without involving me in. So i told him that i don't want to see him anymore (which is kind of hard, as we work together:). We are fine at work, no problems, except for one - i still love the motherfu**er. I've no idea why on earth am i doing this to me, I've no idea what on earth has he done to me, but i know that i just can't get him out. It's not like in a soap opera drama, it's just that he is always in my head, like a flashing red light. I date men, but they just bore me, they're not him.
I guess he still loves me, i can see it sometimes, I could feel it when we were together, so wtf os happening? And how do i get him out of me???

Answer 1

You hate yourself. For one your doing it to yourself, because in your twisted logic this guy is perfection. Why theres no telling, it comes down to your life experiences. But I'm pretty sure your father didn't show you enough respect for yourself or else you would of never tolerante this guy for this long. He is treating you cold and your just eating it up. Its really a co-dependent relationship, were you support his behavior no matter what and he controls you no matter what. Love is an emotion we have, its not given to us, know that. He isn't the puppet master of your feelings, your stringing yourself along with him. The fact is inorder for you to even consider this a good relationship you would of had to of been in worse ones before hand, or never hand one, so you need to realize when he left you, you were right back were you start'd before you meet him, namly hating yourself. Problem is now you can beat this relationship over your head and blame yourself for being to clingy, or not hot enough, or not cool enough, just whatever you can come up with to blame yourself for why this guy isn't in your life. When its him. Also just so you know only boring people get bored. Thats another one of those, you control your ownself. If these guys bore you its because there not as easy to have fun with as that guy is, now what you think is fun, is your own perception, so I don't know if you just like guys telling you what to do and what parties are activities to get into. Or if you just can't tolerante man who act like they don't know what to do.... but your defintly fing yourself over with this guy. To get over him, understand you deserve better, forgive yourself to, you did all you could f him if it wasn't enough, he is just a little kid anyways. Shoot if he really care'd he would tell you what you need to do to make him happy. Next you have to forgive him for being that way. Then you need to start getting some decent relationships, I mean this is all you've had for a long time and it isn't anywhere near a decent relationship. Just remember friends are more then just people we tolerante, there people we share are experience's with that understand were where comeing from. Find some people like that and talk to them about this and began to take some steps to actual care to live your life for your own sake.