he said he is not afraid of commitment, he just does not want it. Is this making sense?

Answer 1

I see where you're coming from. Has the person explained why they do not want commitment?

In my experience, a lot of people who say they do not want commitment don't want it perhaps because they see it almost like a marriage commitment, and tend to want to be a "free spirit". Generally speaking (not true in every case) that tends to mean they have some underlying concerns about commitment or similar concerns about such emotional attachments. Perhaps they feel that they won't make good partners not because they're bad people, but perhaps they don't know how to be a good partner, or feel they are being silly when they are romantic.

My brother and one of my long-standing friends were both the same about it, both single minded and thought they wanted to be "free" spirits and stuff, but both of them came to realize they actually love being in a loving and caring relationship with someone to talk to, someone who cares for them and to care for, e.t.c.

of course you always get people who just genuinely aren't the type of people who think they want relationships, but there tends to be a reason or rhyme for everything, no matter how conscious the person is of it.

Does that help in any way?

Toodles

Answer 2

Yep, he just doesn't want an intense relationship with you. If you want commitment you should move on, because at the end of the day when he hurts you he can now say "well I told you I didn't want commitment". I think if a guy really wants you he should be afraid to loose you and by him saying that I would say he isn't afraid of that.

I think you deserve better, if he is worth his weight and you say fine thats it he will come running with commitment and you will either get the relationship you want or find out sooner that he's not the right guy for you. Good luck.

Answer 3

That makes perfect sense. It just means he doesn't want to feel tied down AT THIS TIME. He simply needs time to mature and figure out what he wants in a steady relationship. If you try to force a man into a commitment, that may turn away even the most dedicated of men. If he's not a Casanova, he'll come around because Casanovas ARE afraid of commitment.

Answer 4

Think of it this way-a person who isn't afraid of dogs, but just doesn't want one. Or who isn't afraid of children, even likes them, but still doesn't want any.
If a person chooses not to take on the responsibilites that come with a relationship, then they are making a conscious choice/decision. It may have an underlying fear attached to it, but it is still a choice.
From personal experience-hear what he said and don't have any fantasies about changing him. It will only lead to heartache. If you want a commitment and he doesn't, you are not on the same page-pay attention to that reality and move on. Otherwise, accept that it is you that fears a commitment by staying with someone who has made it clear that he doesn't want one.

Answer 5

Yes, you don't have to be afraid of commitment to not want it. Some people are just not ready for that or just don't see the need.

Answer 6

Sure that makes sense. He's what you call a player. Probably, that is. If a guy doesn't want to commit to one woman, the reason is obviously because he wants several women. And if he convinces you that this is ok and you two can still have sex, then congratulations. You just got played.

Answer 7

Makes perfect sense to me. Not afraid to embrace it when the time is right, but not fond of the idea in the present.

Answer 8

It can make sense, it depends on his reason for not wanting commitment. However, my guess is that whatever the reason there is a little fear behind it, whether he admits it or not.

Answer 9

He doesn't have a reason to make a commitment

Answer 10

Yes... there is quite a bit of a difference actually. He sounds like he knows what he wants!!!!