Losing myself to autopilot mode. Please help me i dont know what to do.?

Question

For the past year or so, i have felt like i am on auto-pilot. Even as i am typing this message i feel like i am on some sort of auto-pilot mode, like im not actually living my life...I cannot really explain it.

I dont feel aware, i feel muffled, like im watching my life more than living it, yet im still controlling it ugh, its too confusing to even explain.

I think over the many hours of sleep i have lost, and think that maybe thats the reason why i am like this, its hard to concentrate on everything around me...making me feel like im not a part of reality at all? In 7th grade i had huge insomnia from a video game called Starwars Galaxies. I stayed up all night for over 24hrs more than 30 times that year. In 8th grade i didnt have it nearly as bad because i realized how tired i was, but it still happened a whollllleeee lot. This time i was addicted to WoW, almost failed that year too.

Anyways, its only now that i have started to think (nearing the end of 9th - To be continued...

grade) about my health, and that i feel this way now.

I would like to know if anything comes from missing that much sleep, any diseases or illnesses and if they are curable...I would like to not have the next 84 years of my life ruined because of 2 games i was addicted to and a loss of sleep.

If these are not the causes however, please tell me what is and how i can fix this. Im so scared.

Thanks.

One other thing:

I no longer play computer games, i spend time with my girlfriend, getting into photography, getting more sleep and getting active at the beach and rock climbing. Also play my guitar as well.

the only thing that scares me is...I dont feel a change.

Answer 1

What you describe is called Depersonalization Disorder and it's a Dissociative Disorder. It's characterized by a profound sense of detachment that makes you feel as though you're going through the motions of life, but not really living the experience. People describe it as feeling like they are in a fog, or almost as though they are in a dream and there's often a sense of unreality about things, although you consciously know what's real, it just doesn't feel that way.
Depersonalization can exist alone or as part of another disorder, most notably Panic Disorder and PTSD, but it may also be connected with depression, especially in milder form where people describe feeling numb or like their emotions are blunted or flat lined. However, actual depersonalization is usually more extreme an represents a significant sense of detachment from oneself more than just the chronic numbness that often accopanies depression.
You also mentioned significant periods of sleep deprivation and addiction to a computer game, both of which I believe are related. Depersonalization shares a relationship to trance (the underpinning of dissociation) and both sleep deprivation and repetitive, intense focus (as is the case with computer games) can lead to an altered state. (Just think of "highway hypnosis"-it's pretty common and normal, but last briefly, though it shares many of the same features)
There's a good chance that Depersonalization will resolve on its own without intervention and it sounds as though you have stopped engaging in the activities which probably caused it and maintained it. However the duration suggests that treatment aimed at helping you reconnect with yourself may be beneficial. Often times, depersonalization becomes a chronic way of coping with overwhelmingly uncomfortable or painful feelings and disconnecting from the experience of them, hence its frequent occurrence in response to trauma. People often "trance out" when under stress, and it functions to decrease their awareness of and sensitivity to distressing experiences, like the "freeze" response seen in trauma victims. (Just think of the teenager who "tunes out" when a parent or other person is berating them with criticism-they hear it, but don't really react to it). Therapy can be especially helpful if there is a history of emotional abuse that depersonalization helps you escape.
Hope this helps.

Answer 2

This is known as loss of affect. That is you are losing your emotion and engagement with the world.

You are young and your brain is highly active, the world, run by adults is not nearly fast enough. But much of the world is also a little too complicated and difficult for you to understand.

You need to get a little bit more control of your life. Do things like playing sport to increase your fitness. Have some real experiences. TV, Movies, Games, Internet etc are all capable of grabbing your intention, but like junk food, they don't contain the right nutrition.

Look around and get a goal. Have something you want to achieve or do. Work towards that goal and you can focus your efforts.

Answer 3

I sort of feel what you feel. I think it's APATHY. People are getting so apathetic nowadays, they just can't feel. No emotion, no excitement, we are like zombies or something. For instance, when a close family friend passed away last year, I couldn't even bring myself to cry... Why this happens.. I don't know. Interestingly, I was also addicted to WoW for a good year and I think that really got me addicted to computers. I still feel sort of this zombie-like quality about me. I live day by day as if nothing really happens. I get up, play some computer games, eat, do homework, sleep. I think what you need is EXCITEMENT or some new hobby. A vacation can never hurt. Sometimes when I feel like BLAAAH, I go on long runs at night by myself. It helps to sort of devote some time to reflecting on your life and what you want. Good luck man! I feel your autopilotness lol. I really hope you moderate your WoW because I didn't and it cost me... a lot... in terms of friendships, quality time with family and money. WoW ftl :(

Answer 4

Your lack of sleep will be bad for your health. Just like you had accumulate the bad effect of little sleep over a long time, you need twice the time to recover back. Don't forget as you age, your body slowly looses its ability to repair itself.

Answer 5

Join the Marines with me. You will feel the most alive you have ever felt and do what you want todo in life, no follow the lead of someone else.

Answer 6

go 2 peekvid and watch the movie the secret

Answer 7

get some sleep

Answer 8

i'm sorry but i think u should visit the doctor!