with a guy I felt very deeply for. We had a few issues with communication and it was bumpy anyways,but tonight he said his whole life he has always "needed to be right" that being right is important to him,he stressed it being of top importance to him in life.
I literally couldn't speak for a minute,and I questioned whether I heard him right...and yes I heard him right as he repeated it again.
All I could say was "no one is always right" and that "I would rather be happy than right any day".
I had to end it,I just couldn't believe it and yet that suddenly explained the problems communicating,and why I always felt on trial with him.
Is it me or is it messed up to ruin a relationship you said you wanted for life just because you have to be right??
2007-04-12 19:10:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Q: Is it me or is it messed up to ruin a relationship you said you wanted for life just because you have to be right??
A: While physical attraction and feeling able to communicate with someone is key to starting a relationship and helping love to grow, they alone will never make a relationship work or last.
The ability to trust one another and honestly communicate with EACH OTHER for the benefit of MUTUAL understanding is an essential part of making a relationship endure.
However, even then without, the ability and willingness to COMPROMISE, all relationships will fail; that is unless one of the two people is willing to subject themselves to an enslavement of the other’s thoughts and ideals. (Which is something most of us are not willing to do.)
Getting to the point here...if he really wanted a “relationship” with you (“for life” or otherwise) he would realize that your own thoughts and viewpoints can be as good as or better than his own can, which means he would know that the couldn’t always be right.
What I think he was really after, was someone who would bow to his way of doing/seeing things in a “without question” type of manner. In addition, if that is true, not only was it a “messed up” situation, but YES his perception is “messed up” on what a relationship really is too. (Which means by the way, he would be WRONG about what a real relationship is!)
2007-04-12 19:55:39 · answer #1 · answered by ATS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are like that. Being right is all important. Whats even funnier is that most of those kind of people do in fact make great arguments about things but that doesn't mean they are always right. The important thing here, is you recognized that, as something you were very uncomfortable with in your relationship so you ended it....Good for you. These are the kinds of things you need to discover as you go thru your dating life so that when it comes to picking a suitable life long partner you can do it with a wide range of life experiences under your belt. So don't second guess any reason why broke this up...it didn't feel right...that's your intuition talking so trust it and I do wish you well.
2007-04-13 02:19:38 · answer #2 · answered by chcman74 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. A no win situation. How can you stay with someone who always has to be right - even when he's wrong? And how do you do without the one you were to share your life with? I don't envy your position. Surely he can see being right ALL the time is simply impossible? And how can being miserable have you feeling you are right in this situation (him, not you)? You don't mention how you feel atm? Are you relieved to have ended it, or sad and wanting to go back to him? My opinion - give yourself a break, walk away for a while, and let him find out exactly how "right" he was to let you go !! Good luck sweetheart....
2007-04-13 02:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by mamabear_45 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You cant change people he is one of those people that has to be right... or DIE okay and if you really love him and he loves you his issues shouldnt be a problem because im postive you have faults too... we all do so we can really judge him on his need for being right but if you love each other than his need to be right will be a minor step back.
Brianna
2007-04-13 02:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a difference of opinion which matters. The way you look at the things and their perspective and compatibility which exists between the two persons matters the most. So once is gone is bygone. No sorry no regrets and no repent are required. Begin afresh and look ahead.
2007-04-13 02:15:31 · answer #5 · answered by Mahesh R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you felt like you needed to end the relationship, then you did the right thing. always follow your head,, your heart will catch up later..
2007-04-13 02:14:03 · answer #6 · answered by Judy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may have been a poor choice of words, but at least he was trying to be honest about things...better now than allowing things to get so bad you hate each other...one door closes another will open.
2007-04-13 02:15:04 · answer #7 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By asking this question and seeking agreement you want to be right too.
2007-04-13 02:14:04 · answer #8 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hay good for you. you don't need the crap. hes way out in left field were he will always be. and alone
2007-04-13 02:15:52 · answer #9 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋