He is part of the reason I left. He always put me down and made me feel bad about myself. When I first starting attending that church I was feeling uncomfortable around the people there (because I'm shy and also am on meds for social anxiety disorder) and he told me it was probably because I was jealous of them! He also lied to my mom about me and tried to get ME to stop talking to her and the rest of my family and friends not in that particular church. He also said if a woman is raped that it is partly her fault. I just wish there was some actions I could take against him.
Oh yeah, and he found out I was on Yahoo answers and took me in and gave me this whole" you're caught" speech.
2007-04-12 17:52:01 · 35 answers · asked by ? 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
If I post the name of the church he will see this, but I don't care:
apostolic christian church
2007-04-12 17:59:07 · update #1
You did the best thing you could do for yourself by leaving...and don't return. Find a church family that accepts you for you!
I had some issues similar to this, along with some other people in my church. The book of Daniel says "God is my judge".....so go with that. No one has the right to judge you, only God.
Go where you are comfortable and don't let this affect you to the point that you won't trust another church family again, like I did.
Can you believe this?....
I had a newborn baby and was breastfeeding her, and trying hard NOT to fail at it. So, I decided to only attend Church service, not Sunday school (because either one or the other, I'd end up missing regardless, because I'd have to be stuck in the nursery breast feeding during one of them). For weeks on end, this one woman from church would knock on my door every Saturday to "remind me" that tomorrow was Sunday, and to bug the heck out of me for NOT going to Sunday school class. I explained to her over and over every Saturday til I was at my wits end. Finally one Saturday, she told me that God would KILL MY CHILDREN if I kept "using" them as an excuse NOT to come to Sunday school class. I had all of it I was going to listen to. I told her that obviously the GOD she worshipped wasn't the God I believed in and ever so NOT politely, escorted her to the door and told her to never come back again.
It hurt me deeply, and destroyed my trust in others at church. I still won't open up and fellowship with others because I don't want to be hurt again.
Don't take this lying down because of your social phobias. I know it's hard. I have them too, along with bi-polar disorder and depression/anxiety. I was too timid to confront the church as a whole, so I just left one Sunday during a sermon and never went back. I sent my husband to the door when the deacons came to inquire about me. Find someone who will support you to help you confront the preacher, and introduce him to someone who really knows the Lord.....your NEW Pastor!
Good luck!
2007-04-12 18:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by FrEaKoNaLeAsH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously...this man is NOT doing his job as a Christian. You don't bring people down who are NEW to a church! You help build them up and make them confident in the church. You want them to feel comfortable there.
I suggest, checking out a few different church's till you find the one that makes you feel comfortable. Sometimes you can feel very at home in a small church, and sometimes you can feel more comfortable in larger church.
As far as actions against the man...I would say avoid him, and stop attending that particular church. If he is still harassing you...and won't leave you alone and it makes you feel uncomfortable don't hesitate to go to the police about it, that's called harassasment when someone won't leave you alone like that.
Continue to go to church, I hope this bad experience won't keep you away. Church can be a very wonderful place, GENERALLY filled with kind, loving, helpful people.
Pray on the subject and I hope that things will clear up. You made a good choice in continuing to talk to your family. You shouldn't be asked to give up your family, especially if it's just because they don't attend the same church you do, that's silly!
Take care!
2007-04-12 18:05:18 · answer #2 · answered by bossmae2003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say, as a former acolite and choir boy, that he is a God Dammned poor excuse of a "man of God". It's the hypocrites in the churches who are destroying Christianity from the inside out. Leadership is about leading BY example, from the front, not "do as I say, not as I do." Yes, I shouldn't phrase it like that, but people have joined and taken over my church because it was the oldest and prettiest church in town. So I don't go either. God is all around us, the church is supposed to be about fellowship and harmony with others of our community, not condemnation or driving wedges between families and friends. It's supposed to lift us all up and make us better, not put us down.
2007-04-12 17:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to get away from this church and this particular cleric.
Second, you need to start getting closer to your own family if possible and try and stay close to your friends, if possible. If your friends choose him over you, then they are not your friends and maybe that's not a bad thing after all.
Third, if this guy persists in harassing you, then you need to hire a lawyer and get an injunction.
Otherwise, he's entitled to his own opinions, but he is not entitled to socially isolate you using his position in the church or driving wedges between you and the people you love and care about. That's just plain evil.
2007-04-13 14:12:33 · answer #4 · answered by krollohare2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a horrible man that should not be in a leadership position! You didn't mention what type of church it was. If it was part of a larger church organization I would make an official complaint to his superiors with all these details and make it as accurate at you can. You have every right (and I think a responsibility) to do so. This abuse is not much different than the Priest sex abuse scandels, and he will continue to abuse others unless stopped.
2007-04-12 17:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
First let me say I am sorry for the challenges you are experiencing, it is never good to have to deal with people who try at every turn to do things to hurt or offend us. But that brings me to my answer. Part 1. We all experience trouble, it is how we handle that trouble that makes the difference. If we allow those around us to make us angry, upset or push us into doing things, then they have won. They have power over us and we are being controlled by our emotions. (This is sooooo dangerous) 2.Offenses will come, it is biblical, it is how it is. So instead of dwelling on the fact that these things will happen focus on remaining loving and kind despite of what others do and say. It is not easy to be nice when others are pushing your buttons, but when it is all over and you have stood your ground that feeling is far better than regrets.
One other thing that may help is a book called "The Bait of Satan" it is by John Bevere. it is all about how people and things hurt us and how holding on to and allowing those hurt feeling to grow affect us.
I hope this helps.
2007-04-12 18:21:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kimberly R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Getting away from that church and that 'preacher' was a good thing. Forget about trying to strike back, that will only bring on more troubles.
Find a church with true loving Christians and make it a home for yourself. They are out there, just look around and ask God to lead.
2007-04-12 18:03:12 · answer #7 · answered by Blitzpup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that your minister did things to hurt you. They are meant to be an example for all but sometimes that doesn't happen. Remember they are human too I am in no way excusing his behaviour there is no excuse for a minister to act like that. But reminding you that we are human. Report what he did to the denomination head if you can. He needs to be held accountable for the way he acts. Please don't leave faith though. Find a church that you like and expect to grieve for your former church for a while. If possible find a church with a female minister they are more likely to understand. God Bless
2007-04-12 18:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by bcooper_au 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave the preacher. He's an arrogant, intolerant, fanatical moron.
The great thing about a democratic society is that you don't have to listen to schmucks like him. You can live your life as you please.
My friend was raped by a Catholic instructor when we were 12 at an old school. She found a way to leave the church and move on in her own life, though she was emotionally devastated after the encounter. Still, she found a way to rebuild.
Lose the guilt. It's invigorating! :-)
2007-04-12 17:57:04 · answer #9 · answered by Dalarus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from that church, this is a scary situation. Don't go there. These are sick people. Find a different church, tell your mom, how you are being manipulated. He only wants a flock to support his sick self. He probably has a social disease in it's late stages, like the siph. which attacks the brain.
2007-04-13 14:11:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋