My dad cheats on my mom -- what would you do?

Question

Thank you for all of your genuine advice -- it is a difficult situation for everyone involved. I am getting married soon and I have been so stressed that this situation is going to cause conflict on my wedding day. I haven't even had the confidence to set an actual date yet -- and it has already been a year since I got engaged. If you all have time -- how would you handle this situation and the planning of a wedding? Thanks in advance for all the thoughtful and compasionate advice.

Answer 1

Tell him that if he doesn't stop and tell her what he's been doing then you're going to do it for him. Your mum doesn't deserve to live a lie. Even though it will hurt her, she'll be hurt more knowing you knew and not telling her before she found out the wrong way.

It will not be easy. I can tell you right now having been through it myself. It's not easy. Your mum will probably be a wreck for a while but be patient. Be there for her and make sure she knows you love her. She will probably be moody and insecure so you'll have to deal with it calmly when she's being difficult and boost her up when she's down.

How you deal with your dad is entirely up to you. Just focus on your mum. She will be upset and very vunerable.

Good luck.

Answer 2

This happened to me. My exbf saw my dad driving another womans car with her in there. Then about a year later I picked up my dads phone when he received a text message from another woman. I didn't tell my mom because I know how badly it would hurt her plus I had found out in the middle of that that she knew he had cheated on her (not sure when) but she didnt leave him so I decided not to tell her. Not exactly sure you should do the same though. I believe now that I'm a lil older I would want to know if my husband was cheating on me but I don't think I would want my child to tell me either. I think you should talk to your moms best friend and let her tell your mom, i would also tell your moms friend to keep it a secret that you know. I know that would devestate me knowing my child knew their father was cheating on me. If you need anymore advice feel free to ask [e-mail] or kristen_noelle_lang on yahoo im


Your dad is not a terrible man, although I do agree he is cheating on your entire family.

Answer 3

If you are absolutely certain and you have witnessed this first hand, then you could try and tell your dad what you know and advise him to either be honest and tell your mom himself or you will. If you explain it in a non judgement way and mention how concerned you are for your moms feelings then he should be able to understand the position you are in. Keep in mind that this is between your dad and your mom and let your mom deal with the situation. If you are only going on information given to you then maybe you could still tell your dad but be prepared to admit who has told you and if he wants to act on it, then that is his right(if untrue). Good luck.

Answer 4

It's really between your dad and mom. It's hard to say do or not do anything because it puts you in the middle. Talk to your dad tell him it hurts you and mom (she may already know) and it also doesn't give you a positive view of marriage, which will affect your relationships in the future. Let him know you're hurt and disappointed and tell him to end it or come clean w/ your mom

Answer 5

What I did - I told my Dad that he needed to leave my Mom first - he had millions of reasons not to, I didn't buy any of them, then told him if he continued, I would loose all respect for him as my Father AND a man - - he moved out of the house the next day, his girlfriend dumped him, and my Dad lost everything except for me. I will always love him dearly, but to me, cheating is the lowest form of human, and I really would have lost my respect for him had he continued being a cheat.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear that. Get evidence, show your mom, she might already know and be putting up with it to keep the family together. Maybe you showing her how much it hurts you will make her realize how much it affects the family. Tell her that you feel like she is just letting him step all over her and that it makes a bad impression on you. Maybe she is cheatin on him too, you never know what kind of agreement they might have to keep the family together. I'm totally for telling though, communication is key in families

Answer 7

When all three of us were sitting down for dinner, I would ask explain the way I found out and the say it out straight... so whatever cross-questioning there is... both you and your father are there for your Mom to discover the real truth and its sorted with the whole family present...

Best of Luck and hope all works out...

Answer 8

Confront your dad and tell your mother. Dad doesn't realize that what he's doing is cheating on the whole family and it destroys kids trust in others. He's a terrible man...

Answer 9

What proof do you have? Have you told your mom about it? Have you confronted your dad? Those are all questions you must ask yourself. I would follow him, take a picture, and then show it to my mom. I would feel my mom that my mom desserves to know. Good Luck and I hope that everything works out!

Answer 10

Wow, does your mom know? If she knows, I would just ignore it for now and see where it goes. If she doesn't know, you have to decide if it is your place to tell her...

No matter what happens, it is ultimately their lives to do with what they will, so just make the most of yours and hope they are both happy in the end.