Anyone else thnk they should have a 100% different life that the one they're currently living? arg... My life is NOT reflective of my potential... nor is it making me even 10% happy. I feel helpless (and clueless) about how to change it. I am 32, single, no kids... yet I feel trapped in a dead end job with no money and not even a boyfriend (sigh..getting used to that unfortunately). What can I do? please...
2007-04-12 17:07:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Figure out what you want to do and go after it. Take it one step at a time. If you look at everything at once, it can be overwhelming. Start with one thing. If, for example, you don't like your job, figure out what you'd like to do. Do you need to go back to school? Can you simply work for another company? Do you need to move to another city or state? Tackle each area one at a time. Eventually, you'll get to where you want to be. Good luck!
2007-04-12 17:11:59 · answer #1 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can completely relate to how you feel even though I'm a guy. Sometimes life can be tough and society pushes down unrealistic expectations of what we're supposed to be. Look on the bright side if you can - even if you don't have a well-paying job, did you enjoy what you learned in university/college? I read somewhere else that you are an art history grad - that's perfectly admirable. I'm more of a technical person and I'm sometimes envious of arts majors because they tend to enjoy what they're doing and get intellectual stimulation out of it. If I was looking for a gf I'd find that more attractive than someone who had a job just for the sakes of it.
However, I can understand how dead end jobs can hurt - but don't give up - is there a community college that you can go to pick up on some extra courses? Depending on your occupation you can go to a library and do some self-learning if that helps.
As for finding a bf, try to feel confident about yourself (yes, I know it's hard) and if you find that it's hard to meet people around work because it's a stale environment at the job, try to see if you can squeeze in time where you can meet people somewhere else, even if it's just volunteering in a charity once in a while or initializing a conversation with someone sitting next to you on the bus. You're certainly not alone (I'm single too).
2007-04-13 00:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by alphadelicious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I laughed upon reading your question. I feel the exact same way. I drag myself out of bed in the morningl. I force myself to do work I loathe. I feel like I could be doing much greater things with my life and that my days are being wasted.
Most people will read this and think I'm depressed. That is certainly not the case. I am positive and upbeat. I simply feel stuck in a rut. I understand I've gotten myself into my current situation and that only I can get myself out. I've begun to consider options available to myself.
I am 27 years old. I have a job I should love and earn a good living. I should be ecstatic, but I'm constantly looking for a way out. I can go back to school and get another degree. If I bust my rump I can finish in under three years. I am interested in history and politics and would love to study either one, or both, of those subjects. I think I may like to study law and become an attorney at some point in the future. I can joint the Army and get some training there that i could apply to future degree and career plans. I can look for a fresh start in a new city. I've tried this in the past, but running does not seem to solve any problems.
I am not sure what I'm looking for or wish to achieve in life. I would say I'm looking for that elusive devil some call purpose. I don't know where or if I'll ever find it, but I am certain that I will never settle or stop looking for it.
Last, but not least, relationships. I too have been alone for a long time. I feel like I'm not happy with my life and that it would be unfair to pursue a relationship. I am completely preoccupied with "finding myself" that I have not even thought about a relationship for some time now. It is nice to know I am not alone in my feelings and yearning. I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of your ideal existence.
2007-04-13 00:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by Andrew G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was right where you are just a few months ago! Hated the job, no kids, no girlfriend, felt trapped, etc.
I'm turning everything around, and here's how: know thyself. That's my advice to you. I didn't know what I wanted or what I should do with myself because as stupid as it sounds, I really didn't know myself that well! A LOT of people don't!
I quit my job, and did a lot of self-discovery and soul searching, but it definitely wasn't easy. You have to challenge yourself. You have to realize some uncomfortable truths about yourself.
I'll be going back to school this summer and steering my life where I want it to go. I found out what I wanted from life and took control. I'm a lot happier and more confident, and I realized THAT'S why I didn't have a girlfriend before! Now I feel in control instead of trapped. It makes a world of difference, and friends have told me it definitely shows.
You might want to try seeing a "life coach" that are becoming more popular and recognized. A good one should be able to help with self-discovery and formulating a life plan for yourself.
2007-04-13 01:27:42 · answer #4 · answered by Steev 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know but if you find out, tell me. I'm in the same exact boat. Well, except I have a husband and a kid and about to get a divorce. So don't think getting married is the answer to your problems either. It's what made all my problems worse. I feel like I wasted all those years with him when I could've been realizing my potential in my career. Now I leave with nothing and have to start my life from scratch. Oh I'm sorry.....this was your question, not mine lol!!!!! Anyway, good luck to you. Life is tough; hopefully, there will be better days ahead.
2007-04-13 00:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by girlie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every day is your choice. You are choosing to stay in that job. You could be making a serious attempt to meet a new guy, but you are choosing not to. Wake up tomorrow and just make a conscious choice to look for new employment, take a class and get a new skill. It all starts off by making a different choice than you have been making so far.
2007-04-13 00:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by Mary O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can take a test at your local college to find out what your interests are and what you would be happy doing in a career. What intrigues you as far as what you would like as a career?
As far as a boyfriend, there are many free websites in which you can find someone who you might be able to hook up with. Be careful, though. Talk with the person a lot before meeting with them.
Good luck!
2007-04-13 00:18:02 · answer #7 · answered by Deana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get off your a s s and do something. Find a hobby, lose some weight (guessing on this one), and find some passion in something. Then make a plan or set a list of goals and get them done 1 at a time!!!
2007-04-13 00:12:32 · answer #8 · answered by johnnynutzsc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just described my own situation...
Well, right now I am reading a book that has been godsent (I read a lot and are quite picky about books, and even more with "self-help" ones). I think it could help you and other people a lot:
"Women Who Run With the Wolves", by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
I just love it. It has given me real hope.
2007-04-14 11:49:46 · answer #9 · answered by olmega 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a different job. Go to School. Get more training.
Reach for what it is you want out of life.
2007-04-13 00:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋