I'm a grad student, living with my mom and commuting to college. Theres a man who lives with his wife /children in my building. I was always friendly with him for 10 plus years. Then about a year and half ago he started acting weird. He does photography as a hobby,, he told me one day that he'll take pics of my artwork and was insistent on it- i was taken aback.. he gave me his card told me to check his web site and email him-- I did and it was weird, not good-kinda scared me. I saw him again he started talking to me about his work. I told him he should go to some art agencies and try to get work, he looked upset that i said that. i told him he should try, he looked upset that i said that.. My Mom kept telling me he keeps asking for you when i see him. Ever since i have been leaving when i know hes gone and i come back home when hes gone. I saw him walking towards my direction the other day. my gutt told me "CROSS THE STREET",, i did whats wrong with me and how can i deal with him?
2007-04-12 15:47:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ive been doing this for over a year now, i am horrified at the idea of running right into him and having to have eye contact with him, why am i so scared?
2007-04-12 15:48:17 · update #1
The other answers are correct. Your instincts are warning you. Do not allow this person to trick or con you into being alone with him. Stop being so "nice". Avoid him and don't give him any indication you are interested in pursuing any kind of further contact with him. If he starts persisting, tell him that unless he leaves you alone, you'll tell his wife. That will get him off you!
Also, enlist your mother in protecting you from this man. Make sure she gives him no personal info about you.
2007-04-12 16:23:25 · answer #1 · answered by Esther 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this guy is a potential stalker. If you gut tells you to avoid someone, it's usually right. There is nothing wrong with you avoiding the person. He could have been obsessed with you for years, but now that you're older, he may think you want a relationship with him. You need to document every time he asks about you or tries to contact you. Also, be very alert. He could be trying to accidentally bump into you. If you get enough evidence of a possible stalking, you can contact the authorities and perhaps get a restraining order. Also, if you are friends with any guys or have a boyfriend, you might have them confront him, but that's only as a last resort. It wouldn't hurt to have a guy or two around. Plus, tell as many of your friends about the situation and they will help look out for you as well.
2007-04-12 22:55:59 · answer #2 · answered by Purdey EP 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police. If he continues asking for you when you've made it clear that you don't want to associate with him, then I am afraid to tell you, dear, that you've picked up a stalker. This can be extremely dangerous, and the folks in officialdom can advise you better than I can.
In the meantime . . . if your gut says get away, then get away. I had this feeling about a guy I went to school with. He offered me a ride home, and that sick feeling wouldn't leave my stomach, so I said no. Guess where he is now? Prison - for raping a girl not a week later by offering her a ride home. I could offer more examples, but I won't. Just stay away from him if that's what your gut says to do!
2007-04-13 00:34:31 · answer #3 · answered by living_in_a_bell_jar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is probably no simple answer. Even a therapist would have you answer the question yourself after some sessions. There is nothing wrong with you and probably nothing wrong with him. You knew him for ten years--presumeably had chats here and there with he and his wife, and maybe children--before he asked you if he could photograph you. He probably felt comfortable after that much time. You didn't like his web page--my guess is it is pornography. Individually we can be disgusted with porn; however, it is widely viewed by many people and thought very normal. If porn is the case and he persists I would suggest he need to lay off. Again, I suggest you speak to a therapist in order to get to the bottom of this one. I wish you well.
2007-04-12 23:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by pugetsoundcrawfish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time that you see him feel free to tell him not to see you again.
Excuse and tell him that you are busy and have no time about his hobby or business. Observe his reactions and later his next moves if your strategy works, otherwise, you have to report him to the police in the next occasion.
2007-04-13 12:12:33 · answer #5 · answered by PJA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your instincts. If something telling you that there is something wrong, you probably picked up on a vibe that made you feel this. Its better to be safe than sorry. I would keep away.
2007-04-12 22:54:18 · answer #6 · answered by Jim K 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you. Your instincts tell you to stay away from him and you should. He sounds creepy. I'd move if I were in your position.
2007-04-12 22:56:58 · answer #7 · answered by DeborahDel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're scared because your intuition is telling you he's a freak. i would just stay away from him and tell your mom not to tell him anything about you. if he continues to bother you, get a restraining order.
2007-04-13 01:06:37 · answer #8 · answered by Queenie Peavey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you asked whats wrong with me...the question is whats wrong with him. He sounds gross and creepy and your gut is telling you not to see him for a reason! Trust yourself girl!
2007-04-13 21:00:29 · answer #9 · answered by Heidi Anne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are scared cause you sense he is off ...keep avoiding him if you cannot move..you arent hurting him...staying safe yourself..where is the harm?
2007-04-12 23:27:43 · answer #10 · answered by bailie28 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋