Help give an advice to the most shyest girl with guy issue?

Question

I'm really shy,so shy that i never had a bf,and I'm 21 (that bad)
I never have problem finding guys who are interested in me,I'm actually so used to it,but I ignored all them,some tried so hard to get my attention till the last wk of school Its flattering,but futruating coz I liked some of those guys, but my shyness got in the way that nothinever happen Theres 1 guy now that giving me signs,I like this guy that i tried so hard not to repeat the same mistake.So I smiled at him for the 1st time ever 2 wks ago,he got so excited that we keep gazing n smiling at each other,Icouldn't believe I did it! But next day I ignored him got so nervous.I felt so bad n thought y not give him a note saying give me another chance(prob stupid thing to do)The next wk I tried so hard to look n smile at him, he did too.Yestr I ignored him. I try 2 steal few glances at him but saw that he was mad n was lookin at another girl! Should I just give up?
2 wks left of school n I let my shyness in the way again

Answer 1

You sound like me when I was in shcool. I was the same way. I use to have the secret crushes and when they smiled at me and said hi, I would look away and see who they were really saying Hi to, and force myself not to look their way again. I think I got over mine after I joined the military. I have since realized that I do not really care what people think of me. I am a human and I will make mistakes like they make mistakes. They should not judge me. I try not to judge others either. We are all human. Every human being is shy to one level or another. We want to be accepted, we don't want to be laughed at. So we are very shy when we talk to strangers and especially to strangers of the opposite sex. We are worried about what we say and how the person will react to us - we are afraid of looking foolish and being rejected.

Just like everything else in life, shyness can be overcome by practicing and getting used to the situation. There's nothing mysterious about shyness. It's a perfectly normal fear. And by becoming more comfortable and more familiar with the acts you're doing, you will become less shy and less nervous about it.

Think of it like dining in a restaurant. The first time you ate in a restaurant, you probably were really shy. Was everybody looking at you? Were you going to use the right fork? Would the waiter laugh at you? Would you choose the right menu option? But after a few times, it became easy. You weren't worried, because you knew what to expect and knew you could manage reasonably well. And even if you screwed up, it wouldn't be a big deal.

Here are some tip on overcoming your shyness.
Build your self confidence. Often, being shy is a result of feeling inferior to or otherwise "less than" other people. A positive self-image is the key to overcoming shyness.
Set goals for yourself. Focus on small, daily goals, and gradually become more daring.
Make new friends. Introduce yourself to new people each day. Talk to someone you normally wouldn't. Try to find people with your own interest and find excuses to talk to them. Start a conversation with something like a simple compliment such as ,"Hey! I love that shirt!" or "Cool shoes." Most people are nice and will be welcoming to your advances. It is also great practice for more daring behavior, such as talking to popular, charismatic people.
Hold close bonds with your friends, as they can be there for you when you crack out of the shell! They'll be glad to help.
Try doing stuff you never dreamed you would.
Laugh often, at your own jokes and those of others. It will help ease any tension you may be feeling.
Make a list of things that make you feel shy that you want to try and work on. Order them so that those things that cause you the least anxiety are first and those that cause you the most anxiety are last. Once you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations, start working through them, one-by-one. The first few "easier" situations will help build your confidence so that you can continue moving to more difficult situations on your list. Don't worry if you have to go backwards on the list sometimes -- take it at your own pace but make an effort to push yourself.
Lie on your bed and take 3 deep breaths. Then visualize a situation where you might be shy. Now in that situation make yourself confident. Do this for as many situations as you can think of. Do this daily, especially in the morning.
Repeat positive affirmations using I statements. "I am a wonderful person." "I am a good looking person." Do it even if you don't believe it. Do it daily.

Tips
There's nothing wrong with being shy, but there's nothing wrong with being outgoing either!
Shyness is sometimes seen as classy.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help -- group counseling, individual counseling, and therapy can help you along the way.

Warnings
If you were known for being shy amongst family members and friends, watch out for the harmless teasing. Some may be uncomfortable with you existing outside the category they've put you in, in their own minds. Ignore them. They mean well. But don't let them scare you back into your shell!

How to Build Self Confidence

You want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.
Recognize your insecurities. What does that scolding voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, to emotional abuse (past or present) from a loved one. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name.
Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.
Remember that nobody is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.

Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel.

Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.



Tips
Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises adrenaline and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.
When you're feeling superbly insecure, write down a list of things that are good about you. Then read the list back. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.
Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve. Stop wanting what others have just because they have it; seek things simply because you want them, whether anybody else has them or not.
Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit - a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!
Take a wilderness experience course such as those found at Outward Bound or NOLS. Learning how to survive in the wilderness will build your confidence in other areas of life too. You can also try taking a martial arts or fitness class/course (or both). This will help build confidence and strength.
Invest in some new clothing and donate some of your old clothing to send a message to yourself that you both look sharp and feel sharp.

Warnings
Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can contrast your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.
Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self confidence.

Answer 2

You sound so much like me, when I was young. Self confidence issues, were my worst. You've got to find some things to do, that will help you get to know people your age. If you are having self confidence issues,it will be tough, but as you said, you are tired of the rejection that you are causing yourself. I "made" myself take a speech class. Maybe this summer you could take tennis or swimming, and give yourself the opportunity to meet guys and girls your age.
I feel your pain, but you are going to have to make up your mind that you are as good and as pretty and smart as all the rest. You are going to finally have to say enough is enough.

Answer 3

you know sometimes you just have to say the hell with it and go for it. I'm shy as well and it takes me awhile to let someone know I'm interested but its something that i knew I had to do or I was going to be alone. If it helps get a true friend to tell him that you are extremely shy but interested in him and hopefully he'll come and talk to you.

Answer 4

You're trying too hard! You looked at him and smiled and he looked at you and smiled. Just like in the game of chess, it's his move. Wait your turn. In the meantime you may want to freshen up on THE RULES, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

Answer 5

Why give you self up. Think that person as a friend not some
one who fall in love with you.

Answer 6

You should approach him wearing something very revealing. Maybe he'll get the message.

Answer 7

u just need to relax *breathe*.....and try to enjoy these guys friendship before you think of them as boyfriends.....then it will be easier for you to talk to them and you both will feel more comfortable.......also try to be more confident & just smile and enjoy the 2wks you have left at the school......

Answer 8

shyness is a mental thing..just go with it and talk to him. i personally "LOVE" shy girls and they are the hard ones that guys have trouble reading. he "HAS" to talk to you.
i think that if he has "A"feeling for you you should make a move for him. hes probably just "MEANING" to ask you out and test you to see if you really like him..


and do you get my keywords.....?

^_^
Paul~

Answer 9

oh wow that si a long time
well i am very shy myself i just suck it up and go on with life and act confident