Curly hair is the bane of my existence.?

Question

And I'm lazy and apathetic. It's about 4.5 inches long and curls on a dime. What do I do with it? It's thick, coarse, and ugly unless I try fixing it for hours beforehand. I could get it cut, but haircuts usually end unsatisfactory, also, they require money and a job, things that contradict the laziness and apathy. I don't want to get a job because the interviewer would faint upon seeing my wretched hair and not hire me.

I've shaved it skinhead bald, once, but I look too much like the latin thug posers a town over. Not to mention having to shave it every 2 days to make my rapidly receding hairline less noticeable. Also, with a a shaved head mosquitos are prone to biting it, making it way less cool than shitty hair.

Moose and gel are no good. Pomade is too gross and still requires a lot of work. Not washing it doesn't work. Anti-frizz oily stuff only half works and is expensive. Beanies, bandanas, and caps aren't practical for daily use. Should I convert to Islam and wear turbans?

Answer 1

Perhaps you should take interest in crack cocaine. It will surely improve your laziness and apathy. Good luck! I have curly hair as well and I did find it much easier to just convert to Islam and wear a mas-turban. It looks cool too! That is, until the kids say, "you masturbate!" Perhaps you could cut off your scalp. Indians did this, greatly reduces ALL hair on head problems. Then, you could get money from the goverment for having no scalp, thus eliminating a need to find a job!!!!

Answer 2

Cut your own hair, no money needed: howtocuthair.com
OR wear a hat