Stay at home moms!!??

Question

Help, I am a stay at home mom with a 4 year old and a 1 year old and I feel like my husband thinks I'm lazy. Recently during fights he throws the fact that I "don't have a job" in my face!!
Over 3 months ago I offered to go back to work and take our kids to daycare, he immeadiately (*without any thought) told me that I should stay home until our youngest is at least 1 year old (his birthday is in 1 month.)
I am happy to go back to work but I would rather stay home. I have issues with daycare.I don't want to go back to work just because he thinks I'm lazy. We are ok for money, I can't help feeling completely unappreciated.
He chips in around the house plenty.
Should I just accept that since he isn't home to see it he can't appreciate all the things I do?
Also, he loves to sleep in on his days off, is there anyway to get hime to offer to let me sleep in once in a great while?

My husband is definately not lazy. He is a kitchen manager who works about 65-70 hours a week. And when he comes home from starting his day at 4 am, he makes the family dinner. He is a good guy, just loves his sleep and thinks I'm lazy.

Answer 1

i just answered another question similar to this.

i think that it's great you have the option to work or not.

perhaps your husband is under some sort of weird stress, so he is throwing the fact you don't have a job in your face, as you said?

daycare is expensive!!! plus there is gasoline and other expenses. sometimes it's more economical to stay home, unless you can make a very good wage.

if you are feeling hurt or badly about this, talk with your husband and let him know how you're feeling. you don't have to argue or yell, just tell him "i feel badly about this".... maybe you two just need to talk.

take good care, hon... i'm sure he appreciates you very much.

P.S. i'd ignore OLD "I was thinking's" answer... ugh

Answer 2

You know, I wish I had someone like you sticking up for me. Some days I will slack a little bit cause I have worked so hard the other days I have to give myself that break. I have a 3 yr old and 2 yr old with another on the way so I get exhausted easily. My husband complains that i need to be cleaning when the kids nap instead of napping with them. But you know what. The house isn't PERFECT, but dishes are done, I have a plan for dinner, the laundry is done, ect. My house is clean and sanitized and I feel that even though I know he goes to a hard job for 10 hrs a day I have a hard job here to. Yeah I get more breaks to sit on the computer for awhile. But I keep my butt moving on other stuff most of the day. I wish my 16 yr old brother was as smart as you. He wont pick his own laundry off the floor and both of my parents still work. You are going to be a wonderful husband and father someday! Just don't rush it! Enjoy your single life for a bit after high school or at least don't marry for awhile. I don't regret it but some days I wished I had let myself party a bit before I settled down. Tell your mom many people out there are rooting for her! And way to go to you for helping her out. Your dad should do it sometimes too. ( I have to admit that my husband can be a big help on Sunday's if he isn't fishing.)

Answer 3

The question is how to get your husband to understand your life. It worked really well for me when I worked 12 hours on the weekends and he worked during the week. That made every day he had off about 15 hours of child care he went crazy after about 6months and now truley appreciates the at home is the hardest job of all. Now I work during the week and daycare is working out OK. Maybe you can start with just working the day he has off give him his own mommy duty.

Answer 4

Men! Or Husbands.! Well, a sam work is never ever ever realized for what it is we do. You know my dh is ok, but he doesnt help I've had 3 csections in 3 1/2 years and he didnt hel;p with any of them. But he does go to work and there is alot of worry associated with being the provider.

Yep it is a tough call. Sorry not really an answer just more of the same as you asked.

Answer 5

Next time he throws it in to your face that you don't have a real job that you do indeed have a job. In fact that you have at least 3 full time jobs as well as several part time jobs that you do during the course of one day at home. If stay at home moms were getting paid for all they do they would earn more then there husband!
As for getting him to offer to let you get more sleep every now and then, i wish that i had something to tell you but i have no clue.

Answer 6

The man works 70-hour weeks (almost twice as many hours as the average Joe) and he still comes home and cooks dinner (daily, I assume). Gee, I can’t imagine where he’d get the feeling that you might be a little lax in pulling your weight (hear the sarcasm?). And then he actually has the nerve to be tired? Again, I can’t imagine why.

Maybe HE’S feeling unappreciated. Maybe you should consider thanking him for working so hard in order to allow you to be a stay-at-home Mom.

Answer 7

If my husband had ever said anything like that to me this is what I would do. I would give him the oppurtunity to see what my day was like. I would get up and leave the house before he woke up and stay away for the weekend. I would leave him a note so that he wouldn't worry and let him handle the kids and the house.

Answer 8

He sounds like he feels entitled to dump on you. If you go back to work, then he won't have anyone to dump on. It's really nice of you to open your mouth for each serving of sh!t he gives you. Perhaps that shows you how much he loves you. Tell him to get a less stressful job, even if it doesn't pay as much, you go back to work or watch your marriage unravel right before you and your toddler's eyes. Daycare won't be a choice at that point.

Answer 9

he may be jealous that you are staying home, thinking that it must be a luxury, damn right you should sleep in stay home mom is a full time job,24 hrs.

Answer 10

your bf is a shmuck,,,hes lazy and doesnt understand that when his day ends at 5 ,,your day is still going,,,,good luck with this one,,,put your foot down and tel him the way it is,,,he isnt doing you a favor your doing the motherly thing,,,if he dont understand your better off without him,,,,good luck...