why does my fiance allow his exwife to control him and treat me like crap?

Question

they were married for 7 yrs with one child and he left her(before we met)

Answer 1

Well I think you are asking the wrong people. You should be confronting your fiance about this. He has got a child with her so maybe she uses that to manipulate him so you need to take the child into consideration because the child will have a great importance in his life.

If you are gonna be marrying this guy you need to be open and talk to him otherwise what is the point of the relationship. If you have a problemwith HIM then talk to HIM about it. Only he can do something or change to make things right or better.

Answer 2

If he allows this now, think about how it will be when you two are married. I understand that they have a child together so they will always be a part of each others lives, but that does not give his ex the right to treat you that way. He needs to stand up for himself and for you and tell her that he won't tolerate her behavior anymore. If he won't, then you should probably rethink this marriage. Sorry, but if he won't talk to her and still allows this to happen, then you need to find someone else. Good luck and hope it works out all right.

Answer 3

You do not want to marry this person until this is resolved. But more importantly, why do YOU allow him to treat you like crap?!!! No one can 'control' another without their consent, unless they are being totally deceived. But that is beside the point. It doesn't matter what she does or does not do. The real question here is why do you tolerate HIS bad behavior? He obviously has no respect for you.

Answer 4

Maybe she is just concerned about her child, and you are over-reacting like many women do who marry a man who has a family with someone else. They will always be family. They have to work together and make things right for their child. That childs welfare has to come first ALWAYS!
If you can't deal with him having this family... you need to move on sister!!

Answer 5

Because he is a chump. That will never change. So unless you think you can live with that, look for someone else.
His Ex is the type one has to put ones foot down for. He won't.

I know, because I never put up with crap from Exes, including the one I had a daughter with; but have seen many guys who are just door mats. Your guy sounds like one.
Why don't YOU tell that bi*tch off?

Answer 6

Hmm...I would talk to your fiance about this and tell him how you feel. He also may not want to say anything to his ex because he is trying to keep the peace for the child's sake and because you two are planning a wedding so maybe he's afraid that she would do something on your big day. I would sit down and talk to your fiance so he knows how you feel. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Do you know what a red light and a stop sign look like? Read the writing on the wall. Do not proceed...Do not pass go. Take your playing piece off the board, and run away as fast as you can!

Answer 8

Try to talk to him first. If he doesn't make those changes, you really should think about whether or not you could deal with this for the rest of your life. Chances are you'll find you should not be engaged right now.

Answer 9

I think a better question might be why are considering marrying someone who has it within themselves to treat you like crap?

Answer 10

Well cus he is weak and cant stand up to her or you. If he was a strong man you would not be with him. you like to be in control of the situation as well, and he lets you too. thats just how he is.