Wouldn't it be great if all the gods from all the religions gathered around a poker table once a week?

Question

Can't you just imagine God stroking his long white beard looking down at a pair of Jacks? Odin and Zeus looking at Allah everytime someone passed gas.....I don't know...I can dream, can't I?

Answer 1

Satan stared down at his cards, a seven two off suited. Damn, he says to himself. He looks over at God and wonders what he has. He puts in big blind and waits to see what Odin does. As he listens to Zeus shuffle his cards, Odin folds his own. Three five off suit was not worth it. Allah, sitting on a seven eight suited, quickly chips in the blinds and waits for God's move. God strokes his beard again before raising the big blind. Pre-flop raising? He must be trying to buy the pot, Zeus laughs in his mind. He draws out his turn before calling the raise, figuring that his queen ace has good standings. Satan cringes to himself as he calls. Allah calls as swiftly as he did before.

Athena burns a card before showing the flop. King, three, six. It helps no one. A round of checks go off before Athena burns another card before showing up a seven. Satan goes all in. Zeus folded, since nothing had come his way. Everyone else called his raise.

It's come down to the river. God's sitting on pocket jacks, Satan on pair of sevens with a two, and Allah also on a pair of sevens but with an eight. Athena flips down the top card and pauses before reveling the river card. Come on fifth-street! I need a seven or a two to win this! Satan thought to himself, though it was only half true. Athena lays down the final card...

The devil's luck is one thing Satan had going for him... and it pulled through for him once again. A two came up. He grinned his devilish grin and dragged in the pot. God throws down his cards. "Ah well, you can't win 'em all," he sighs out loud. Allah agrees and they wait for Athena to deal out the next round. Odin and Zeus stared looked down at their chip stacks. Satan kept out of the gudder by sheer luck. They both were sitting on a decent amound and Allah and God were sitting on fairly larger stacks.

And a new round began....

Answer 2

That sounds a lot more rational than most things I've heard. But, here's the question: which one of them secretly wears lucky panties under his clothes? And are the Goddesses out shopping, or going to Demigod Strip Clubs while all this is happening? Does Aphrodite wait until Vesta gets drunk to try to make out with her? Do deities eat nachos? Does Bacchus always bring the booze? Does Loki occasionally disguise himself as the Joker card and throw off the whole game?

It's all about the BIG questions when it comes to religion.

Answer 3

There is evidence, for something that they can't understand, the feeling of oneness with the world and Sigmund Freud called it. A feeling of being part of nature, when we feel like there is something greater then ourselves we do not understand what it is and either explain it with our own ideas or turn to ideas made by others and in ignorance refer tot hem as God.

Answer 4

If there's poker in heaven, Blaise Pascal is at the table, getting cleaned out.

Answer 5

Would Matt Damon and John Malkovich be invited once in awhile?

Answer 6

Celestial hold'um? Nah, I could hardly get my mind around dogs playing poker. you must be dyslexic too!

What would be the ante? What would be the steaks?

Answer 7

How do you know they don't. You can afford to be agnostic about this one.
(although I am not sure how poker works for omniscient beings.)

Answer 8

You'd enjoy Terry Pratchett's "Small Gods," I'm sure.

Answer 9

Well they'd all make good poker players cuz they're all champion liars.

Answer 10

Be better if all of the Leaders of the world would do that!
Ditto......