18+only! Does anyone really "orgasm" while having sex?Like in romance books and other things I shouldnt read

Question

After 2 years of marriage and 2 kids, I still have not enjoyed it I fake it sometimes to appease my husband but I just dont like it. I try very hard to think about things that should turn me on but once we start its just whoop out the window. I don't use sex as a reward or anything $^&*ed up I try to be very accomodating but nothing during sex turns me on whatsoever. I am slightly disgusted by it in fact reminds me quite a bit like umm Horses? or dogs just mindless "rutting" I want to like it but the sweat and the impersonal nature of it just totally turns me off. In novels and stuff they at least hold the girl and and pay attention to her too instead I feel like it is a performance or something. Please help, what can I do to get out of this rut? or am I one of those people who just is "cold" I feel really self conscious and I am really hurting. Or does anyone really like it(female anyways)guys obviously do. Am I like broken or something. Please help-no spam/advertising

I have talked to him numerous times about it not blaming him just explaining what I didnt like did like etc etc also have asked him what he likes(his response is "everything") He does try to "eat me out" but I just dont feel it too much. Oh and yes I was molested when I was younger but I went to therapy and counseling for it

Answer 1

I don't think you're broken. I haven't been able to get an orgasm from anyone but myself yet. It sounds to me like your husband doesn't know how to actually MAKE LOVE anymore instead of just having sex. That's a big problem. Maybe you guys should try seeing a sex therapist.

Answer 2

A lot of people here are blaming your husband, but before you go jumping all over guy realize a few things...

1) People aren't born understand what turns other people on. Your husband isn't a mind-reader, so if you don't COMMUNICATE your feelings, how is supposed to know you are unhappy? The fact that you are complaining to us and not him tells me there is a communication problem in your relationship. Maybe he thinks things are fine, or maybe he's as upset as you are, and doesn't know how to approach you.

2) If your husband didn't "do it" for you when you got together, then why the heck did you marry him? Either there was a time when it was good, or you've just been lying to yourself (and him) for the last two years. This is the stuff divorces are made of.

3) The psychological image you've painted (horses and dogs rutting) speaks volumes about your unconscious feelings about sex. Sounds like maybe you have some issue to work through. Sex is supposed to be the most intimate bonding, and a gift, between two people. If it feels "impersonal" to you, then you might want to re-examine your relationship, or seek professional help.

4) Both women and men enjoy sex, but if you are doing something you find mentally uncomfortable, chances are you are never going to enjoy it physically, no matter how you are touched.

I really hope you decide to see a therapist or counselor. Your problem is not unique, and can be solved! Hurry!

Answer 3

Many lady don't orgasm throughout sex. What approximately foreplay, such a lot of my peers most effective orgasm throughout foreplay no longer sex. I suppose foreplay may be very a lot critical for a lady to think attractive, sensual and cherished. I do not suppose intercourse is relatively like within the romance novels, but it surely relatively will also be extraordinary. I additionally suppose that the longer you're with a companion the larger it may be. You have to be sincere along with your husband and inform him you're no longer convinced however be certain to inform him the way you think approximately him as a man or woman no longer practically the dangerous intercourse. If you'll be able to be honest approximately what you could love to occur within the bed room, I wager your husband will wish to thrill you. Since you've gotten been faking amusement he might don't have any thought that you just think the best way you do. The thing more is do not check out so tough simply allow your frame think what it's feeling, you can be scared of what you think so that you close down. If intercourse is being impersonal then some thing relatively demands to difference, intercourse may be very private and really intimate. I could desire that your husband could be open to a talk approximately tips on how to make your intercourse lifestyles larger. If no longer it would possibly not get any larger. Sex among married men and women who love every different must be approximately displaying the way you think, it must be very severe and private. I desire you speak for your husband and simply allow him know the way you think. Just do not do it while you're approximately to visit mattress. Make it at a time that's handy like over breakfast or dinner or television time. Good success!

Answer 4

Were you ever sexually abused? Usually women that have been have the reaction you have related, because yes, most, many women really do have orgasms while having sex.

Another thing that is questioned is the time, attention and consideration from your husband. He may need some help with that department. And he may think you are okay particularly since you have been faking. Have you ever sat down and honestly talked to him about this. Don't make it seem like it's his fault.

If you have ever been abused, you may need some counseling that might help you also.

Answer 5

I would suggest the problem isn't you, being cold so much, as your partner, is a lousy lover.
He isn't taking your needs into consideration, but just doing what he needs to get off.
You need to talk to him, about your feelings, perhaps see a sex councilor or therapist.
With only two years married and two children, it's not easy to dump him and find a man, who can love you as you are entitled to, be loved, and to give you that orgasm.
There is the option of meeting a man, and having an affair, but that should be the last one, you should choose.That can lead to all kinds of problems.
Try reading or watching some porn, if you can get time alone to do it, and see if you can't find something that will turn you on, and get you an orgasm.
Life is too short to miss out on one of the better aspects of sex.

Answer 6

FARK LOL
hun your husband needs to learn how to please a girl it wouldnt suprise me that you cant have an orgasm if all he is worried about is getting his end in and going for it lol
its all about paying attention to your partner so you need him to start paying attention to you and to make it sexual.
try write something down like a fantasy and then show him and ask him if he will act it out for you.
try make it romantic so its not just a fark u know like ,
u want to be in the room with the lights off have a few candles for light and some nice music on, these type of things will take you out of your normal scene of animalism lol
and think of things he can do that are slow and passionate like kissing you slowly down your neck and working his way down that type of stuff inside the theigh feels really good i found have him slowly run the tips of his fingers down your body and explore it with his finger tips.
these type of things will put you in a total different state of mind maybe even you only have a glass of alcohole to relax you now him but by the sounds of it he needs to be completly awake haha
but yeh try it?
not braging but my partner had never been able to orgasim befor with her ex who she was with for 2 years and i did these things and it worked it takes a few goesat it, he just needs to take the time to be awear of the things that feel good as he does it for you hope it helps

Answer 7

I think that some people just don't like sex. I've heard of women who don't feel any pleasure during sex. Research it on the internet or a health magazine. I know I've heard of this, but unfortunaltly I couldn't find anything on it for you.

Answer 8

i think theres a difference between having sex and making love. what ur husband and u r doing is just having sex. he needs to know how to make love. u obviously know about it from the books and stuff u read. but seriously there is a difference, and he needs to find the difference or u arent gonna have any fun

Answer 9

marriage and 2 kids can put a damper on the sex life. dont believe in what u see on tv and in novels.

Answer 10

Sounds like u have only been with your husband and he only humps you and dumps you whenever he feels the need. Maybe you should start renting movies or reading books on how to please yourself and have him learn right along with you.