on 3/16 me and me ex had a misunderstanding and he grabbed on my clothes and my hair while trying to remove me from a cab, he broke my phone, yelled some obsenities, and then spit on me. I told him he would never get me back, i could forgive but not forget. ever since then he's always begging and "baby this, baby that". And part of me wants to believe him, but the other half is to scared to be a fool for giving him a second chance. So he says he will never let himself loose control again, but i don't believe him. Do you think it's possible he can change??
2007-04-12 10:43:05 · 26 answers · asked by majones83 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are a lot of dead women who asked themselves the same question. He will never change. RUN!!!
2007-04-12 10:47:00 · answer #1 · answered by Alice K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't risk it. Just look at what happened this time. If you were to stay and he did it again, it might be worse.
There are too many guys out there who are nice and don't put their hands on women. My advice would be to never settle for less than what you really want. If you take him back he will figure, if I got away with it the first time I can surely do it again and get the same result.
If you've ever heard the term once a cheater always a cheater and believe that the statement is true, you could use that as a way of looking at this.
Good luck and I hope you make a safe decision for yourself.
2007-04-12 17:50:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not possible for him to change. He will lose control again and next time it may be worse than him spitting on you. He has a bad temper and you just need to escape. He didn't lose control on purpose so it's not possible for him to control it either. Ignore the "baby this and baby that" because he is just trying to get you to come back. Nothing has changed. It will be the same but next time he will be MORE violent because you accepted his behavior this time. No second chance. Leave while you are still able to do so. You may also find that he will be abusive when you leave. Be careful, Sweetie.
2007-04-12 17:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! He won't change. Many people blame it on drugs or alcohol (an outside influence) or that they were just so emotional or upset, and it won't happen again. They are lying. If it is in your nature to be violent, it won't stop, ever. If you go back to that situation, it may be ok for a little while, but it'll happen again. He can't change. It's safer to get out while you can. If you go back to him, he may get very possessive and tell you that if you leave again, he'll kill you. A lot of guys do that. Just stay away from that situation. You'll find a guy who deserves you, I promise. Good luck!!
2007-04-12 17:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by aerofare 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People do change. Sometimes it takes losing the ones you love to realize what you had. And then realize that they don't want to be without them. My case I was married with one child. He went to work that morning and I packed as much clothes as I could fit in my car and we left . After going through it for about 2yrs. I had finally had enough of the "I'm sorrys and i promises" With the intervention of God we both changed and are doing great. If he is just a boyfriend maybe i would give up but i don't know your history with him.
2007-04-20 13:44:46 · answer #5 · answered by mommie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case I am going to have to say that I think he will not change. you need to be strong. Even if he dose change its not likely that he has done so yet, he probaly needs years of counceling to be able to change. Do not give him a second chance. No one deserves to be treated like that and if he cared about you he woulden't have gotten violent. Violence is bad, and if he used it once he will most likely use it agin. So I sugest moveing on and cuting him off. Just stop talking to him for awhile untill the urge to belive him is gone and you are over him. its not going to be easy to get over him if he is Baby this and baby that.... you need to make it clear to him that you are done with him and he has no chance. maybe your strength in this will keep him from hurting someone elce. but if you give in it will seem to him that maybe what he did wasen't so bad. So good luck, and stay strong.
2007-04-12 17:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by Aztrik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Statistics show that, once a guy has laid a hand on you, he will do it again and again. Sure he may regret it or feel bad...but his problem is that he can't control his anger or rage, and this results in him getting physical with you. I wouldn't take a chance on a guy who has shown ANY sign of physical abuse, because the next time could get you a trip to a hospital...or a coffin.
2007-04-12 17:48:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The odds that this person will change are very minimal. The best they could do is repress this behavior for a period of time to win back your favor. A person with a violent streak usually never overcomes it... my brother was like that... he was violent and abusive. He ended up getting shot and killed. Violence begets violence... and a little bit may not kill you, but it will eventually.
2007-04-12 17:48:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anatomy L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell no! No matter what you do, you CANNOT get a guy to change. period. So many relationships have gone sour because so many women think they'll be THE ONE who'll be able to teach their dog new tricks. Don't waste your time on this guy....he obviously has a problem with physical violence and you're better off leaving him before you get hurt further.
2007-04-20 15:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he does he needs to do it on his own. you take him back he will do it again cause the action of taking him back tells him that he can get away with it. like the movie says....be afraid...be very afraid. why wouldn't he do it again. i was in violent relationship and it didnt' end until i was able to leave and stay gone. it got so bad he was threatening my mom...thats the only reason i stayed. he will do it again. no matter how much he begs you. he will
2007-04-12 17:48:58 · answer #10 · answered by Jody SweetG 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not ~~ he won't change. Plus, if you would take him back he will gain power in thinking he can smooth talk his way out of every misunderstanding (that's how abusive relationships continue).
Be strong!! You deserve better!!
2007-04-12 17:51:45 · answer #11 · answered by lizzietallon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋