I have a nine year old girl who is soiling her pants at school and at home what to do?

Question

Have taken her to the doctor and she said nothing is wrong and ahve done the consulor thing and everything is fine but she keeps doing it. And the school is on my case saying I'm not doing anything. They offended my husband when they asked him if he was doing anything sexual with her of course he is not. In fact we are trying to concieve again and she is very excited about that and so is my son. I need some advice my nerves are about shot with the school calling me all the time saying I'm not doing anything to help her. I've done everything I know.

Answer 1

I am amazed at how many times this situation is being asked about here. Your daughter has ENCOPRESIS. Please look it up on the internet. Make an appointment with a pediatrician or pediatric gastroenterologist. I am shocked that your doctor did not diagnose this condition, but even though it is quite common, many doctors, teachers, parents, etc. have never heard of it.
Encopresis is a joint psychological/physical condition in which the child withholds bowel movements until they are permanently constipated. The bowel gets very stretched out can loses the ability to sense when they need to "go". The child is not at fault in any way, and they will not grow out of it without medical treatment.
Liquid feces leaks out from around the large impacted feces in the bowel. This condition is treated with laxatives, enemas and behavioural therapy.
Your little girl must be feeling terrible about this situation and I am sure it is very stressful on your whole family. Please know that this is a recognized medical condition and it can be treated. The treatment can take a year or more to totally be effective. Please see a specialist as soon as possible and good luck There is a support group on Yahoo Groups as well. Check it out.

Answer 2

First of all, this is a MAJOR problem whether it is psychological or physical. It is your responsibility to get your daughter the help she needs. You know this isn't normal and hasn't been a problem in the past-----and if you don't persist, some doctors, unfortunately, will not pursue a diagnosis. To rule out any physical problems, you should get a referral to a pediatric gastroentrologist (stomach doctor) so that an appropriate exam/tests can be performed. Also, your daughter may feel left out or anxious about you trying so hard to conceive another child--maybe she feels left out and is trying to get more attention from you. Any kind of attention, even bad, is better than none--she may be feeling that when she has the accidents you are showing concern for her. Lastly, don't be so quick to rule out sexual abuse-it is more common than you might think. I am not implying that it's your husband, but it could be someone else close to her and someone you'd least expect otherwise you'd be protecting her from that person. Most children are molested by a trusted family member or friend. I would suggest that you have a good, long, private talk with your daughter without accusing her of anything. Good luck.

Answer 3

The poor kid. and poor you as well. how dare the school treat you like that?! don't put up with it, see the head teacher and tell them what you have already done, ask what else they think you should be doing and if they have any good advice act on it, if they don't then tell them to stop harassing you like this. i darent think how your poor husband is feeling. my niece has had the same problem, she was treated a few years ago and the last year or so it got worse, i took her back to the hospital and they scanned her, she was full to the brim! (sorry!) they started her off on very strong laxatives and have given her a repeat prescription for more. they have to get rid of the excess that has accumulated first. the diagnosis was that every time she needs a poo the excess poo forces its way out, resulting in soiling. she has started to improve in that there are rarely any soiling. she does have some emotional problems and she too is receiving counselling but this does seem to be a medical problem in our case. good luck with it

Answer 4

Could she be afraid to go to the bathroom at school? My older DD was afraid of the noise in the bathrooms well into third grade and my younger DD doesn't like to be alone in there. Both had accidents at school because they were trying to hold it in an effort not to have to go at school.

If no one has asked her this question you might want to. If she is afraid you can work on things to help her.

One other thing, and I know this is hard to do when the school is hitting at your parenting ego but... Take in documentation of what steps you've already taken. Then ask them to review them and recommend where they think you should look next. This does 2 things: It informs them of exactly what you've been doing outside of school so that they know you're taking the problem seriously. It also may get them to point you in a direction that will lead to a solution. And finding a solution is the ultimate goal for everyone.

Answer 5

Usually if a child of that age is soiling her pants it is because something is terribly wrong somewhere in her life whether it be at home, school, or somewhere else (if not medical). I would seriously look into this some more! Why do you say "of course not, we are even trying to concieve again", what does that mean? Just because he wants to have another child means he would absolutely not be touching your daughter? Just because your daughter wants a little sister or brother doesn't automatically mean she is not being abused, children love little babies. I'm not saying your husband is guilty but I would look into your family, home life a lot more!!

Answer 6

You should ask your Dr. for a referral to a pediatric specialist who can help you determine why she is doing this. It's possible that it's a physical problem that is causing her to do this and if so there will be treatments. It's also possible that there is an underlying psychological reason causing this. It does not mean that you are bad parents at all, things like this happen. One reason that kids will end up soiling themselves is because for whatever reason, they don't like to go to the bathroom, that makes them "hold it" until their body just has to let it go. Find out what resources you have for dealing with the school, they should be more supportive than this. Find out who you can talk to that represents your school district, many districts have a liaison officer to help solve problems. Good Luck to you and your daughter.

Answer 7

Is this soiling liquidy or solid?

If it's liquidy, it's likely leaking out around a solid ball of feces that is in her constipated colon. She wouldn't be able to do anything, because she wouldn't feel it until it's too late, because the nerves get stretched out.

There's an easy program to follow to help that, if that's the situation.

If it's solid soiling, this is typically an indicator of an emotional concern requiring counseling. Most of the kids who get emotional problems from this, tho, get the problems after, from the adults freaking out, rather than the problems causing the soiling.

Answer 8

you are able to attempt chatting including your buddy and notice if she would be in a position to be introduced to reason to get a house line or a cell telephone to be left at homestead for emergency use. so a techniques as i will tell there isn't a criminal age that defines while a new child is only too youthful to be left homestead on my own, that's extra an issue of even if if the youngster has the skill to shield themselves for the quantity of time they're left on my own. while you're sturdy pals you may additionally proportion together with her that her daughter is expressing worry at being left on my own even with the undeniable fact that i won't help yet ask your self that she's already heard this. your guy or woman intervention is probable as sturdy as you may get as i don't think of there is something you are able to record her for, not from the information you provided, different than not offering a telephone for emergency calls.

Answer 9

First you need to find out the real issues at school.Some girls are scared of using the toilets at school because of the senior grades.Can she have a friend go with her to thetoilet?If that is not the issue then you may need to seek a second opinion from another doctor and have some tests done to rule out major problems.Also do the teachers allow girls to go to the toilet when they need to even in class?

Answer 10

I think she needs to be seen by a second doctor. If everything is fine then she needs to go into counseling. Children do not wet themselves for no reason.