ok so ive been dating this guy 4 almost a month, and he is pretty attached...much more than i am. he's already said i love you...but not in so many words. he'll try to carry my books-which i h8-, he'll say i look cute, he'll walk with me to class and either put his arm around me or try to hold my hand, and he'll kiss me b4 he walks away. he's a sweetheart, but i just dont feel how i did earlier. i almost feel bad, like this is all my fault, by one of my friends said that i cant help the way that i feel...im thinking about breaking up, but were also in the same english class. should i stay with him til the end of the school year? i dont know cuz i dont want to lead him on for another month, but i dont want it to be awkward in class either...what do i do?
2007-04-12 10:17:38 · 29 answers · asked by ♥_glitter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is a nice guy, but he also just quit doing pot, smokes cigarettes every now and then, and he can act immature at times...like when he doesnt get his way, and he also gets kinda jealous when i talk to other guys...is that even ok? i really dont mean to sound totally b****y, b/c he really is a sweet person. he's funny to, and i know girls kill 4 tht...i did too, but i just dont like that he's trying to do so much, and keep me all to himself. does this..do i make sense at all :( ?
2007-04-12 10:40:43 · update #1
Ooohh. Toughie. Guys sometimes can be that way, and attach when you don't want to anymore. I've had the same problem except he didn't do that for me. Sounds like he really likes you! I know lots of girls that would kill to have a boy who does all that. i know that when your feelings aren't the same anymore it can be awkward to be around him. what you need to do is talk with him about it. Say I really appreciate everything you've done for me, and (to be modest) I really don't deserve it. _ you're a nice guy, but I feel as though you are going to fast for me. If we could be just friends for right now I'd really appreciate it it, because for now I just need to think and get my thoughts straight. I'll let you know when I'm ready.
This way you aren't being mean. Now, be prepared if he takes it the wrong way (which he might) but you can't do anything about it. Be thoughful and considerate of his feelings while saying this and you should be fine ;)
2007-04-12 10:27:02 · answer #1 · answered by pup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, it's not your fault how you feel, but what you do with how you feel is your falt. His issue is a low self-esteem probably. Finally found a girl that liked him . . . so that's "the one".
Do the following on his turf (his home or his friends home)
1. Sit him down and tell him how you feel
2. Let him know what you think about him (the good stuff)
3. Try to take some time with him, but don't stay too long
4. If he cries, say nothing/do nothing. Let him cry. There is healing in tears.
5. Don't leave him alone and over-emotional. find a friend or get him on the phone with someone.
6. Tell him you are giving him the space he needs.
7. Let him know you care and leave at the greatest opportuned moment.
I realize you have a class together. This may be an issue. Luckily you will both live through it. Just be nice to him. If he becomes a problem, report him. Better to let the adults handle him.
2007-04-12 10:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a major dilemma... Your friend is right though, there is nothing you can do about how you feel. Even though you are in the same class and it would be awkward, I think it might be best for you to end it since it isn't fair to both of you if the feelings are only going in a one way direction.
If you stay together then it would be like leading him by the nose, thinking that everything is alright when it's not and that's a terrible thing to realize at the end.
If you do choose to break up with him then please let him down gently. It would seem that he is rather sensitive and this may become difficult for him to hear but it might be for the best... Maybe you two can still be friends after but I don't know really...
Anyhow good luck.
2007-04-12 10:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by JV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to be mean to him?
You would be leading him on and making him think something that isn't true. You are what is wrong with way too many women, selfish and uncaring. Yes that is what you are, someone that cares so little for a person that she would lie to them just to keep herself from feeling bad for a little while.
Instead why don't you be a good person and let him know that you don't feel special towards him right away. Don't let him act like you are his girlfriend anymore, he needs to move on.
2007-04-12 10:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm well this is why you generally dont hook up with people unless you're sure. I feel just as strongly about my girflriend now as i did when we first got together, and it's the same for her, but thats not helping you much. Best to go ahead and break up and deal with the class being akward. It would not be right at all to drag it out and give the wrong message.
2007-04-12 10:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by Caimunion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait awile and find out why you don't like him anymore. Be very sure that you just want to be friends because if your just in a bad mood and decide to break up with him after a week your gonna feel worse! Have you ever heard of the phrase "you'll never know how much you have until it's gone....."
2007-04-12 10:22:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him exactly how you feel. If I was making a girl uncomfortable, I'd want to know. Don't make it anything big either, things don't have to get awkward, and in the future, try to think about what you're getting into before it's too late.
Good luck
2007-04-12 10:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by Indie Rox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pull him aside... in private and tell him you don't feel the same way about him anymore... that is best that you are both just friends... that you think he is great but you both have to go your separate ways...
Do this as soon as possible... you will hurt him a lot more if you wait... and be nice about it...
Good Luck
2007-04-12 10:25:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you need some alone time till the end of the year. Then you guys can talk.
Nothing beats the truth though. Just be honest and say your just not feeling him.
2007-04-12 10:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by Asian Mami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to SLOW THE HELL DOWN or he WILL lose you!!!!
Do it quick.
I mean you already asking questinons and finding things on him you don't like.
It already started.
If he won't slow down and play it cool, he'll be yesterday's news.
There is nothing much you can do. You still like him (so far). You need to talk to him. Tell him to get some more education in relationships.
Tell him about this site: www.askmen.com/dating/doclove
2007-04-12 10:24:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋