My wife's cousin was the maid of honor in our wedding last year. Now my wife is going to be the matron of honor in her cousin's wedding this year. Nobody knows it yet, but my wife will be 7 months pregnant at that point. Her cousin is very concerned with having a "fairy tale" wedding and wants things to look good. She has made commments to my wife like, "You're not going to be pregnant in my wedding are you?" several times. We're planning on telling everyone after the first doctor's visit, but are we being rude by not starting a family until after the wedding or is she being rude by implying that we wait?
2007-04-12 06:47:07 · 30 answers · asked by reesrob25 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would have your wife tell her now. Just say 'I know you dont want a pregnant bridesmaid so I am going to have to decline to be one' You are not being rude at all. But the cousin knows what she wants at her wedding and thats her right, so consider it a gift that you wont have to pay for dress, shoes, etc!
2007-04-12 06:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by barthebear 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all -- you and your wife do not have to plan a pregnancy around anyone's plans but your own. If her cousin feels that way, then maybe your wife should just attend the wedding as a guest. Its not fair for her to treat your wife any differently because she will be pregnant. There are plenty of gowns made now for the bridal party to accomodate a pregnancy.
Do not let your wife get stressed over it because it won't be good for her health or the baby. The cousin is being completely rude by implying that you wait - that is not her decision and very unfair of her to make statements like that.
Good luck with the whole situation.
2007-04-12 17:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by Scarlett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a pregnant bridesmaid is no big deal to most. She is being rude implying your wife should not be PG for the wedding. never wait for your family while making your own. If she does not want your wife in the wedding after finding out about the pregnancy then so be it. At 7 months your wife might even be relived to not have to deal with the wedding. She will have more important things to deal with.
Best Wish with the baby.
2007-04-12 16:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not rude to start a family in the midst of your in-laws wedding preparations, however; it is rude to leave her in a situation that threatens to spoil her wedding. It takes time to plan a wedding and get all of the dresses ordered and fitted. She will need time to either select a style that will be suitable to the pregnancy (and still match any other attendants), or to make arrangements for another maid/matron of honor.
I would recommend telling her as soon as possible so she has time to make a final decision and necessary arrangements, while asking her to respect your wishes that the information be kept in confidence until you and your wife make the announcement to the entire family. Also, offer to step down from being an attendant so she is not left with the incredibly uncomfortable situation of asking.
2007-04-12 14:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by ahnalee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think its a big deal at all.
In fact its cute especially when the person has a significant bump, which your wife will have.
I've been to several weddings and been in them where people were pregnant...its cute.
As far as this cousin well shes just being selfish and rude.
Just because someone's pregnant doesnt mean that it will ruin her wedding or make it look bad.
Having a child is a wonderful thing. And I agree with not telling her until the 1st doctors visit. She'll be mad that she lied and didn't tell her but hey you can't go telling everyone in case something happens.
Just tell your wife to tell the cousin she didn't know until a few days before she scheduled the visit and wanted to make sure that it was ok.
If she can't get over it well then maybe your wife shouldn't be friends with her cousin as tough as that is.
The only person looking like a fool here is the cousin...shes a BRIDEZILLA
2007-04-12 14:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by colie 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I hope she is joking with your wife when she makes these comments. I see no reason you or your wife should put off your lives over a cousin's wedding. Your wife should give her the option of choosing another maid/matron of honor, but she should also let her know that she plans to be there for her and is excited about her marriage.
2007-04-12 15:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally could care less but apparently it's a problem with your cousin... some people don't want pregnant people in the wedding and it there personal choice!! You should tell her right away and don't be insulted if she doesn't want your wife in the wedding. Sounds like your being just as bad hiding it from her. Just let her know, have a talk and see what she wants to do!
2007-04-12 14:39:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, I see it all the time, last wedding my husband was in (besides ours) he was paired with a pregant bridesmaid, and she was great, super funny and hte bride loved her, pregnant or not and wanted her up there! If this girl is so shallow that she can't be happy that ya'll are pregnant and all she can thing about is pics then shes just a crappy person. Pregnancy doesn't mean you have to hide in a corner at big events, and no you weren't rude to start a family...thats definetly something you do when the timing is right for you and noone else!
2007-04-12 16:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually had something similar happen to me. My cousin was getting married 6 weeks before my due date and wanted me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I took her aside and told her about my being pregnant and told her the decision would be up to her if she still wanted me to be a bridesmaid or if I could do something else in the wedding/reception. Since I offered, there were no hurt feelings (I ended up not being in the wedding at all)
2007-04-12 15:42:30 · answer #9 · answered by Lana L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am getting married in sept and already have all the girls dresses bought and sized, one of my bridesmaids called about 4 weeks ago to let me know she was pregnat and will be exactly 7 months at our wedding. I didn't think it was a big deal. There is nothing wrong having a preganant member of the wedding party. It has no direct reflection on the bride. I think she should be happy that her cousin is going to have a baby and embrace the situation
2007-04-12 17:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by jamitha99 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋