Wedding question ...Help?

Question

My mother in law offered to pay for the flowers in my upcoming wedding. My parents are paying for the reception. As a couple, we picked out the food for the reception and we picked the colors of our flowers. My mother in law asked to change the color of the corsages as they may "clash" My theme is yellow. Am I being to sensitive? Also they are covering the rehersal dinner and she picked out all the choices for food...without our input. What do you think?

Answer 1

This is YOUR wedding and you cant let people bully you. You will not be able please everyone, and you will be getting input from everyone, all the time, you need to be strong and stand your ground... Don't let anyone change anything without you and your fiance approval.... This is your wedding and you need to make it clear to everyone that you are making the decisions not them. You might piss a couple of people off but that is how weddings go, they aren't easy to plan, everyone wants to put their two sense in. Just put your foot down and let everyone know that you and your fiance picked these colors out for a reason, and they will not be changed. That is kind of rude for the mother to want to change the color because of a clash, not your problem. Also that is sweet that they are paying for the rehearsal dinner, but definitely let them know that this is your wedding and you are only doing this one time, so you want to be involved with every aspect. Tell them that you want their input but it would mean alot to be able to make the executive decision on everything, Good luck weddings are stressful to plan. Just remember that you will not be able to please everyone, so make sure that you and your fiance are happy with every thing, because that day is all about you......

Answer 2

Unfortunately a lot of parents of brides & grooms feel that if they pay for something that they should get a say in what they're paying for. There is little you can do to dissuade them if they feel this way. If you want to make it go more smoothly then you can either:

A. Ask your future MIL to simply write a check to the florist after YOU pick out the flowers for both the ceremony and reception.

B. Give in to your MIL's wishes in order to start your relationship out on the right foot.

C. Pay for the flowers yourselves.

Don't be a Bridezilla and throw a tantrum until everyone does things your way. In the end nobody will even remember the corsages.

Answer 3

You need to pick your battles.
If you let her have the rehersal then she will be better to get along with in the long run. It's just the rehersal not the main event and why start your marriage out with a battle? Mother in laws hold grudges - trust me, mine did.
YOU however take charge of the whole wedding.. even if it means paying for the flowers yourself. If you think there will be conflicts.. then pay for it yourself. It may be smaller than you planned, but you'll be happier in the long run.

Answer 4

If you want your choices, don't let your MIL pay. If they (in-laws) are paying for the rehearsal dinner, they get to pick the menu. It's just a meal, don't sweat the small stuff. While the wedding may be important, it's the marriage you really want to work for the long term. You'll have to deal with this woman for life - don't start making new hubby choose between you and his mom too early. You won't win!

Answer 5

If you want to dictate, then you need to decline the money.

However, if MIL wants to run things without you, then she's being rude, paying or not.

My suggestion is to work with her. If you can't come to a meeting of the minds, thank her for volunterring to help, but say "it's important to us that we, as adults, take the responsibility for our wedding, so we'll be paying for flowers, dinner, ..." Be prepared to turn down money from your parents, too, to not make it seem like you have a problem with MIL.

In other words, which is more important to you? The money, peace in the family, or getting what you want?

Answer 6

The corsage color doesn't go with the wedding colours, it is tailored to the colour of what the person is wearing - for the mothers and grandmothers.
Girl, you gave up control for the wedding once you and your bf weren't paying for it yourselves. So just be polite. That's why these days most couples save and budget for their weddings themselves.

Answer 7

i choose extra of a backyard sort wedding ceremony... like at a very extreme-high quality southern plantation, have the marriage cerimony interior the interior mid-day, with the reception exterior interior the evening while it cools down. i choose chinese language (or is it jap?) lantern-esque lights with yellow roses and accents of orange with the main colour being white. in ordinary terms some human beings from the two aspects of the family members (like 15-25 each). and the nutrition would be set up like an stylish buffet. thats all i've got been given so a procedures, yet i think of it will be the appropriate wedding ceremony for me (if my destiny husband likes it too).

Answer 8

I think you should thank her uncontrollably for what she is doing for you & your fiance', but make it known it is your wedding, not hers. You & your future husband needs to make the arrangements & do what you two want. She probably will get defensive & upset, but she needs to understand its yalls day, not hers. If she can't respect you & your fiance's wishes, then pay for it yourself. The rehersal dinner is usually picked out by the groom's family, but they normally do ask for input so I find it odd that she didn't.

But she talk to her. But let her know how thankful you are for everything.

Answer 9

Just get a different color of corsage for your MIL. Wouldnt make a big deal out of that. Although the food thing for the rehearsal Id be pissed about.

Answer 10

I think she may just want to help and does not realize that the way she is doing it is coming off wrong. talk to her and let her know that you like what you have picked and you appreciate her help. Remember once you marry your man, you are married to his mother too so I wouldnt make a big deal out of it.