My bfriend and I were together for almost 7 years. We started dating when we were both too young to be serious. He cheated on me 2 yrs into the relationship. After he realized what he had done and apologized, I took him back. However, not only did I keep my guard up so I wouldn't get hurt again, I was also a horrible person to be with. If I said I was a b*tch to him, it wouldn't describe what I put him through. But he stuck it through to show me that he really cared about me. Life experiences and a lot of maturing have helped me change. Our relationship was better than perfect in every aspect.........
He was recently becoming extremely mean and careless. I realize he should have never put up with me before, however, now he tells me he sees what type of person I am because I won't take a little change from him. I'm an emotional wreck. I know it's my fault he's like that now, but I'm still in love him. I keep holding on to what we were.
Should I hang on or let go?
2007-04-12 05:51:53 · 15 answers · asked by Elsy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you say your relationship was perfect - which suggests you stopped being a self-described b*tch... which he deserved at least a taste of, having been unfaithful to you. but if he's started treating you less than respectfully, only hold on to him if that's ok by you - if you've learned to trust him again, and you treat him well, then who on earth is he to tell you you're supposed to take his newly-developed bad attitude? if it were me, he wouldn't have had me anymore after cheating... but if I'd gotten over that, and he started treating me badly later (regardless of any mean behavior on my part at any time) then that would really just be "it"...
2007-04-12 06:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by Megs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes things just don't work out. Consider why you want to be with him, is it because you have 7 years already? That's not good enough - if at the end of your soul searching you really feel love - try to go to a counselor. One who can see the both of you as well as give you individual counseling.
At this point, if you leave him you may not do too good in a new relationship because your guard is up. So either way, try counseling and maybe that will give you the answer you are searching.
2007-04-12 13:02:18 · answer #2 · answered by yrmax 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears you both made mistakes, but innocently so, now you both are unable to fix it and get the relationship back to where it was. Being so young, you were both bond to make mistakes. It takes maturity to be able to understand this and to forgive. It also takes two people to work at repairing damage that was done to a relationship. Appears your past behaviour has created your guy to have resentment towards you. He is unable to fully forgive you and see that it was not just your fault, but both of you. Unless you both can come to some deep understanding of your situation then I would say it would be impossible to move forward with this as you would want to do. Get some outside help like couples counseling. Even your local college has classes on relationships. Do something if you want to get back what you both lost. Best of luck to you!
2007-04-12 13:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So both of you made mestakes. You can work it out if you want to. If you deside to try again you must look at the future and forget what happen in the past. If you can't forget the past it wount work. Remember when you have a problem solve it without bringing up the past. It is a new fight. Resolve that and move on. Good luck.
2007-04-12 13:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by Erna M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think it's time to let go. I think the more you guys stay together and grow, more changes will be on the way and you'll eventually grow apart. You both did things wrong, but neither of you deserve to be miserable, you know? I'd say for the both of you to move on and meet other people! Best Wishes!
2007-04-12 12:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are blaming yourself. You feel guilt over what you believe he has become. You need to realize that everyone is in control of themselves, their own actions, their own fate. He acts and reacts like everyone else. We are all human. But he needs to take responsibility for who he is, NOT YOU.
You have been with him a long time. It is normal for people to change. But it is also a choice to accept the changes or not. Sit down, talk heart to heart with him. Then decide what is best for you.
2007-04-12 12:56:42 · answer #6 · answered by ciberpunk1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Technically you're both to blame, he cheated on you and completely breached the trust between you two. You took him back before you had forgiven him, therefore treating him to releave your own pain. If he can't let go of his anger, or you can't. you shouldn't be together...let him know your sorry and you're willing to make a new slate, if he can't then let him go
2007-04-12 12:59:36 · answer #7 · answered by thinkin2myself 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like ... both of you need to step back ...let go ... and do some growing up ... before getting involved again ...
2007-04-12 12:59:51 · answer #8 · answered by Amethyst_Moonfairy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh pls dont blame him and yourself just do whatever u want i can give u a suggestion take a coin and toss if it comes head then ignore him and if it comes tails then hang on him dont watch the coin before toss
2007-04-12 13:01:06 · answer #9 · answered by golu s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not your fault. he cheated on you. what makes you think for a second that he wont do it again? you have every reason to put him through hell. if you're still having problems with him you have to move on.
2007-04-12 12:55:54 · answer #10 · answered by fippypoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋