Can a guy with depression ever have a relationship?

Question

I've had experiences with three girls and so far the main reason why they ran out was because of my erratic mood swings and my constant sadness. It seems as if depression is the ultimate pet peeve of any woman despite any physical appearance or money. I've have been dealing with this supposed illness for 7 years and it hasn't gotten any better despite medication. Will I be lonely forever? Is depression a universal turn-off?

I agree that I'm not ready for a relationship. My last girlfriend had to deal with my bullcrap for an entire year. There were two extremes: I either treated her like a queen, or I gave her absolute silence and neglect. One day it finally tipped the scale, and I decided in my head that it was best to break up. After breaking up with her, she has decided never to talk to me ever again. She has cut me off from her life. I think she might have been my first love. Now she won't even let me near her, and even though I knew the breakup was necessary, I've never felt more miserable and lonely in my entire life. I really want to get rid of this thing, but I know in my mind that it will never go away.

I agree that she was a "shock absorber", which was another reason I decided to end the relationship. She didn't "run away" exactly, she actually hates me now because she actually loved me so much, that since I totally broke her heart and threw everything away, she can never forgive me. I wish I could find some quality treatment, but every therapist I've gone to were psycho themselves. I can't get better when all they do is nod and throw pills at me.

Answer 1

I understand where you are coming from. I would suggest self therapy. I'm not saying that doctors can't help people but sometimes you need to help yourself. Their therapy is not working and the meds are not helping. If you have been seeing doctors and they haven't been able to help in 7 years then maybe you need to figure this out on your own. Therapy is a process of self examination a doctor puts you in. After 7 years I think you can figure out the methods.

I would stop the meds and see how you are without them. If you are the same then you don't need them. If you get worse then you will know that the meds are actually helping. If the meds are not working try missing your therapy a few times and see how you feel. I you don't feel any worse then you know your therapy is not working.

You have just figured out if these two things are helping or not, now make choices about how to continue dealing with your depression. You may realize sometimes the answer to your depression can only be found by self examination.

Answer 2

I think that despite all the talk and information out there regarding depression, it's largely trivialized and misunderstood by the public at large. It's not a universal turn-off, but it can be quite the hurdle. If you've been battling this for seven years and it's no better, it may be time to switch doctors and/or tactics.

Therapy is often a huge component to controlling the condition. And if the medication you're on now isn't working, it may be time to try something else.

I'd also strongly urge you to add an exercise regimen to your day. Something as simple as a half hour jog can make a huge difference.

One more suggestion. Consider a visit to a nutritionist. sometimes there are foods that trigger or exacerbate the problem.

Hang in there. I'm rooting for you!

Answer 3

Have you tried any sort of therapy other than medication? Alot of times, getting your issues out in the open with a counselor will help improve social relationships. If these women you meet run for the hills the minute they discover your condition, then they were not meant for you. Speaking personal experience .... Work on yourself first, once you get your depression under control, then you should seek a realtionship. No matter how fine a woman is, she is no subsititute for peace of mind. Finally, when you do meet that woman that is meant for you, she won't care if you suffer from depression, or have a third eye in the middle of your forehead. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Perhaps you should try counselling. Medications don't always work, you know. I'm a person who's dealt with depression for many, many years. I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm lucky to say that my depression is managable enough that I no longer need meds. Are you open with these girls about your depression? If they don't know about it, I can understand why they wouldn't want to stick around. If they do know about it, maybe they don't understand it. I'm currently seeing a guy who also has depression. He's in counselling and feels it's helping him. But I can say I probably wouldn't want to be around him if he wasn't actively doing what he could to help himself. If the meds don't work, talk to your doctor and try something new. Get a referral to a counsellor. Do whatever it takes to help yourself. That'll be when you find the right person for you... after you take care of yourself.

Answer 5

you know what honestly man I suffer from deep depression as well and I wouldn't be lieing to you if I said this well then it all depends upon what you are depressed about because life has so many things that can make a person depressed if you look at it that way if you honestly think of it what good does it do though since in the end not only do you suffer because of it but as well your family and friends will suffer as well... trust me man a relationship is one thing but make sure that you are in a good mood because honestly it will be pointless otherwise have to make sure that the girl feels comfortable within your bubble and that you are happy to be with her since if you are depressed while hanging out with her then it will turn her off as well man just think of positive things since life can't all be bad

Answer 6

Nobody likes a cry baby! I found that out the hard way.
Done that been there, 3 women...lost them all.
My problem is that my ex-wife could not have children and after 16 years of marriage she dumps me for a younger guy and i am only 40. I bitched about her to these other women and they all used it against me.........They knew i wanted children and did not care who with....they caught on.....I think that there is a reason why the good old lord puts these people in our path...as we go along in life we have to learn through these experiences and use it to our advantage........oh! and the depression pills.....no good!
makes u feel stupid, careless and peter does not last too long..........or it just simply does not happen..........Good luck!

Answer 7

Definitely not! If a guy can't come over his own depression, then he coould not cope with his emotional stress, that means he's not ready to have any relationship... It could be boring on the part of the girl 'coz she will serve as "the shock absorber"....

Answer 8

Yes, it is without doubt..(after lack of physical size!) the biggest turn off there is. No one wants to wet nurse an emotional cripple. I cannot think of any SANE woman wanting to get involved with a whacko.......they would have to be mental....

Answer 9

Of course depression is a turn-off. Go back to the doctor's and have them give you meds that actually work.

Answer 10

You've only had "experiences" with 3 girls...I'd say give it more time...obviously none of those 3 girls were the right one.