2007-04-12 04:25:31 · 15 answers · asked by Jennifer D 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Catholic Priest, Baptist Preacher and Pentecostal Preacher were walking along and came to this Creek. The Baptist preacher say; "If, you have Faith, you can walk on water" and he walked across the water to the other side. The Catholic said; "I have Faith" and he too walked across the water. Then the Pentecost say; "I have Faith" and he fell into the water and was splashing around. He got out and tried again doing the same. After about 4 tries the Baptist looked over at the Catholic and said; "You think we should tell him where the stepping stones are"?
2007-04-12 04:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by Snaglefritz 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he saw walking down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he swerved to hit him and there would be a loud "THUMP". Then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along the road he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good deed and pulled the truck over.
"Where are you going, Father?" The truck driver asked.
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road.
Instinctively he swerved to hit him. At the last moment he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so he swerved back to the road and narrowly missed the lawyer.
Certain he should've missed the lawyer, the truck driver was very surprised and immediately uneasy when he heard a loud "THUMP". He felt really guilty about his actions and so turned to the priest and said, "I'm really sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."
"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
2007-04-12 12:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you like this, let me know what you think:
Joke: A man got stranded when his car broke down. He noticed a monastery nearby and asked for help. The monks let him use their phone for a tow truck. The tow truck man said it would take him some time to get there. So, the man waited and the monks and "fryers" (priests) offered him to dine with them. After they ate "fish and chips" the man went into the kitchen to thank the cooks for a wonderful meal. The man said, "The food was very delicious. Are you the fish "fryer." The cook answered, "No, I'm the chip monk.""
2007-04-12 11:41:58 · answer #3 · answered by Lifted by God's grace 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which biblical character has a lopsided face? Isaiah. (One eye's higher than the other).
Why did the man name his parrot Onan? He always spills his seed upon the ground.
I have an excellent longer joke as well: A man was painting the roof of his church when he realised that he was running out of paint, so instead of buying some more paint he simply used a couple of pints of paint thinner, thinking nobody would know about it. When he'd finished the job, lightning burst from the sky and a heavenly voice proclaimed: "repaint, and thin no more!"
2007-04-12 11:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by Dharma Nature 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Here see if any of this helps, but they are not really jokes:
A Child was saying the Lords prayer and rather than saying Hallowed be thy name it came out how old be Thy name.
This one was just told to us in church this past Sunday: A little girl walked in on her mom who was upset and brushing stuff off her shirt. The little girl said "What's wrong mommy? The mom said I have lint all over my shirt. The little girl said thats ok mommy it is the season of Lent.
2007-04-12 11:34:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, so it's not that short, but it's a good one.
There was this boy who was struggling in school, especially in math class. His parents really struggled to get him to do homework or even to stay on task in school. The parents discussed it and decided to try a private school. The Catholic private school was just down the street, so they enrolled him.
After his first day at school he came home and went directly to his room. His parents peeked in and watched as he studied and studied and studied. He only came out for meals and to go to the bathroom. This went on for months and then finally he brought home his report card.
All A's!!! Wow! He struggled to get D's before and he always failed math.
Mom and dad were impressed but curious... "so what was it that changed for you?" they asked. "What was it about this school."
He said, "Well Mom... dad... that first day when I walked in and saw that guy nailed to that plus sign, I knew they really meant business when it comes to math!"
2007-04-12 11:33:49 · answer #6 · answered by blount_4design 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man is out mountain climbing, he slips,He grabs a rock with two fingers, looks down can not see the bottom,He looks up
GOD GOD are you there i need help a voice says yes son this is god let go it is a long fall but you will be o.k. He looks up again HELLO is anyone else up there.
2007-04-12 11:32:27 · answer #7 · answered by gwhiz1052 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How can you tell that Jesus was a good Jewish boy?
1. He lived at home until he was 30.
2. He went into his father's business -he was a carpenter.
3. He preferred wine when he could get it -his first miracle was turning water into wine.
4. He thought his mother was a virgin.
5. His mother thought he was G-d.
2007-04-12 11:33:37 · answer #8 · answered by tropicalturbodave 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Some schoolchildren were on an interfaith whale watching cruise, chaperoned by clergy, when the boat stuck a reef and started to sink.
The rabbi shouted, "We need to get to the life boats!"
The imam said, "What about the children?"
The minister replied, "F**k'em."
The priest said, "Do you think we have time?"
2007-04-12 11:47:03 · answer #9 · answered by RickySTT, EAC 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
A catholic priest asks a fellow priest: "Do you believe that we will live to see the day the celibacy will be abolished?"
The fellow priest: "I think we won't, but maybe our children will."
2007-04-12 11:37:49 · answer #10 · answered by NaturalBornKieler 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋