do you feel like your an embarrassment in family just because your not always happy???I feel like I get used in the house because whenever the whole family is sitting together in one room my mother always tells me to do everything and not my brother and my brother is one year older than me so why is that???
2007-04-12 03:40:41 · 22 answers · asked by Jasmeet P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I used to feel i was an embarressment because i didn't do things the conventional way (marriage, children and that kind of stuff) but i'm happier than most married people i know so as long as i'm happy that's all i care about.
2007-04-12 03:45:31 · answer #1 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok Jasmeet, here's a little confession- i am a mother of three children. They are all grown up now but i feel guilty sometimes because i used to ask my older son to do things for me all the time- A) because i knew he was the most reliable and would do the job properly and without arguing or answering back and B) Because i knew the youngest would kick up a fuss, only do the job in part (probably so i wouldn't ask again!) and C) i hated upsetting him - The eldest showed the least resistance and the most willingness to please, the youngest wasn't afraid to voice his displeasure! Recently the youngest told me the eldest despised me for getting him to always do little jobs when the others rarely got asked. As a parent you tend to work out whats best in the interest of family harmony and who is better at what so i always preferred to give tasks to the eldest because he was least complaining- that meant more peace and less hassle.
Talk to your mum about it when you are quiet and alone and tell her now how it makes you feel- she might not realise! Then she might try to balance it out a bit.
Libby.
P.S. Sometimes we all enjoy life more than other times, sometimes our families are embarrassing and sometimes we are! Its life, but you learn to cope with it better the older you get- promise!!
2007-04-12 11:36:16 · answer #2 · answered by Ellie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was treated the same way when i lived at home i have 3 brothers 2 older & 1 is 14mths younger & a sister that is 16mths older i actually asked my mother why & she said it was because i was always the one who done as i was asked as a child where as the others would sook & carry on maybe your bro is like my siblings. I can totally understand you feeling this way though i was the same i always thought my mother just couldn't stand the sight of me for too long so she had to keep me busy. Just ask Your mother why it is this way. I am sure they aren't embarrested of You;)
2007-04-12 10:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by nick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I enjoy my life, but I dont' live at home any more! If you are feeling used, you need to talk to your mum and explain how you feel - choose a time when there's no one else about and you can have some privacy (and when she's not too busy and feeling harrassed!). She probably doesn't even realise she's doing it. Life will get better for you - hang in there!
2007-04-12 10:51:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say your age.
Maybe your brother went through it when you were younger and you didn't notice it because it wasn't affecting you directly.
If you are all adults, then tell her nicely that you are fed up with being the family slave.
Have to say that mothers often favour the one they love best with all the things they need doing. It is the trust issue.
2007-04-12 10:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by Christine H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to let your mother know this bothers you. She may not even realize she's doing it.
I used to enjoy my life. Now I am nothing more than a built in babysitter and maid. I can't even get people to clean up after themselves.
Right now I am commited to a 3 yr old and 8 yr old. I gave my word to take care of them. Come June...all that will change.
2007-04-12 10:47:35 · answer #6 · answered by Cricket 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I used to enjoy it, but now it is very hard. My family mistreated me a lot so I suffered a lot, and now I feel lonely.
It is not your fault the way your mom treats you, there must be a reason behind your pain, probably you are not getting enough validation, love, respect in your family and from friends.
You are precious, you are so valuable. The treatment you get from others doesnt define your value.
Remember, you are so precious and valuable.
2007-04-12 10:57:26 · answer #7 · answered by Alejandra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother probably feels that HE is the over-worked one. Perceptions are not always accurate.
Happiness is a state of mind (I KNOW it is easier to say it than practice it, but go for it as far as you can)
Sometimes life just IS unfair!!
2007-04-12 12:52:48 · answer #8 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't enjoy life at the moment but I'm hoping things will change when I start Uni in September.
2007-04-12 10:49:20 · answer #9 · answered by April2007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i enjoy my life most of the time. with me it's more the other way round - i'm embarrassed of my family. they never stop arguing, and they're usually arguing over me for some reason. life will get better for you, don't worry
2007-04-12 10:45:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋