There was an argument in my house last night....?

Question

My husband has read the book 'The God Dilusion' and has decided he is completely positive all of a sudden that there definitely isnt a God.
He believes we are all here due to the big bang!! and everything has a scientific reason, if there are gaps in our knowledge it is just because we have not discovered the 'scientific' reason behind it just yet. My brother agreed with him and felt God was really for weak people that needed to believe in something to make life easier yet there probably is aliens. Well, my bro's friend who would describe himself as spiritual not religious felt they were wrong to dismiss we have a creator, they demanded proof and scoffed at the idea not accepting his reasons for this, my husband wouldnt let him finish his sentences and was slagging off God and laughing at us.
I found myself getting frustrated at my husbands lack of respect, we were not making a joke of his opinion
Well you cannot close your mind to anything I personally feel, what about you?

Ok Glitterk, my brothers friend and I did not scoff at anyone, you misunderstood. (perhaps it was unclear, I was running out of space and had to cut out details). My brother and husband scoffed at my brothers friend when he told them why he believed in God.
I also didn't say that my brothers friend lost his father not so long ago whom he was very close to, I might have felt also that the two of them should consider he might not need to hear words like 'when your dead, your dead'.
A big thank you everyone! for your answers.

A lot of people here made sense. Some people feel we are all entitled to our own opinion, they have a point but I feel that respect is important.

Answer 1

I dont believe they should have been laughing at your opinion
they should respect you as you do them
and it doesnt show a great deal of intelligence if they cant
have a debate on a difference of opinion without laughing and mocking
but try not to get frustrated though , dont give in to that
just know in yourself who is the mature one in this

Answer 2

The book your husband read didn't change his mind, it reinforced what he was thinking already. So don't blame the book. His beliefs are based on what he has observed of his world. Doing so he has come to the conclusion that god doesn't exist. If you saw things the way he does you would think the same way he does. If you explored your world and the ideas within it with an open mind and assuming nothing then you would be of the same opinion as your husband. Perhaps you should ask him more questions. Better yet, perhaps you should read the God Delusion yourself so you have a different perspective.

It sounds like your husband's a pretty intelligent guy. The more you explore the more you will realize that on the whole the more intelligent you are the more likely it is that you will be atheist.

It sounds like your husband was disrespectful of your beliefs. He is new at the atheist thing, so believe me when I say that time will temper his zeal.

Answer 3

Try reading the book yourself and see what you get from it - at least you'll be able to discuss it with him on an equal footing.

There's some powerful stuff in there which I imagine would be quite confronting to believers. One of the things Dawkins talks about is the exaggerated respect given to religion above all other social matters - to the extent of it being pretty much above the law.

Chances are your husband is just reacting to new ideas in a strong way, and that he will settle down with time.

And yes, I agree with you, closing your mind to any possibility is pretty silly. But that doesn't mean you can't hold opinions along the way - it's more about being able to change your mind when you discover something new.

Answer 4

I'm sorry that you have had an argument, but marriages do have their ups and downs. Both of you must work it it out, you have a religious belief, which doesn't go with science, but he has realistic scientific reason, that doesn't fit with spiritual/religious beliefs. Maybe what he was told all his childhood years was a LIE and he his just venting out hate, how would you like to be lied too, wouldn't you be a little frustrated. Let him know your still there, and you respect his beliefs, and in return please respect yours. Take a little time and work it out the differences, you can do this.

Hope this helps.

EDIT:
Don't listen to Johnny; that will make frustration and more arguments in the future, understanding and acceptance is better.

Answer 5

If your husband is so adamant about proof, ask him for proof of the BIG BANG theory... that is mere speculation... Was he there to listen to the BANG??? and I thought all sounds are inaudible in space... Afterall, isn't space a vaccuum?

He seems to be buying into a very narrow point of view. Sure, the Big Bang could have happened. Ask your husband this: If all the atoms needed to create a galaxy were in space... what caused the first atom to combine with the second that started the chain of events that led to the BIG BANG? I would be frustrated too, but the best thing to do is, pray for Him.

I agree with your brother... God is for the weak people... But I also believe that we are all weak. Ask your brother this: Would you be so brave and strong if you were in a plane that was about to crash? Or would you be screaming and praying to some other God.... Strength is only found through God... "Every good and perfect gift comes from [GOD]"

Answer 6

Ask your husband, for me, why has he let a thief in the house and especially in his mind. John 10:10-

"The thief cameth not,but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy;..."

He let the dictates of somebody he knows absolutely nothing about control his mind. People say God doesn't exist but no one has ever disproved the existance of God - because it's impossible to do so. Godd isn't under any obligation to reveal himself to anyone who doesn't have the common decency to at least give it an 'honest try'. It takes a ''real' man or woman to go one-on-one with God. Make sure your (now simple minded spouse) reads this. Anybody that just 'changes their mind' after reading ONE BOOK (that was probably written by a lunatic) never had their mind settled on ANYTHING in the first place.(James 1:8)-

"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways".

A lunatic is one who keeps doing the same thing, looking for change; when change never happens they keep doing the same thing, still looking for change, and when things still don't change, they keep doing the same thing. People think just because they say 'there is no God', this is going to make him go away (which means in their hearts they KNOW God exists). Romans 1:19 -22

"Because that which may be kown of God is manifested in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.

For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and godhead; so that they are without excuse:

Because that, when they knew god , they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools".

Once again, make sure he reads this; it's for his own good. God and the christian community love him and want him back for good.

Answer 7

You say on one hand that your group didn't show your husband a lack of respect for his non-belief, but then you had already said that your friend's scoffed him and demanded proof. Make up your mind. Did you scoff or not? That doesn't show respect, sista.

This is an issue you and your husband should deal with alone. Get your heads around how each other feels and agree to disagree especially around others. You both need to show each other respect and neither of you did.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

I wouldn't do that to my wife. But I do understand how he feels. I can't get my arms around how someone could believe in a god either. You have to realize that to us it rather is a joke, in spite of the fact that many Christians think that we really believe down deep.

Read this and you might get a feel for how we think. It is an analogy, not propaganda:
http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/Dragon.htm

That said talk to your husband and get him to back off of you. If you are going to make it work, he has to.

Answer 10

It sounds like the problem isn't the views being expressed, but the disrespect you feel you have endured. I think it is paramount to communicate this to your husband. Hopefully, upon recognizing that he has insulted you, he will apologize.

Answer 11

It is your opinion, not your husband's that matters most. It is your soul you need to worry about. If this is how he feels, you must respect his decision not to believe and not force yours on him. I'm pagan, I believe in a greater entity, I just don't believe in the crap the bible spews about Him. There has to be mystery in the world to have faith. Your husband's views may change at some point. Don't sweat it too much.