What are some ways I can control my anger?

Question

I have a lot going on right now (just bought a house, gas tank leaking on vehicle, problems with dad, stress at work, stress at hubby's work, etc....), and I've been finding myself going over my problems as soon as I wake up in the morning and getting angry over them. I am usually a very rational person who doesn't anger easily, but with the heap of problems I am dealing with currently my temper has gotten short. I yell at my husband for stupid arguments and constantly find myself becoming angry about my situations (just especially 1st thing in the AM, which is not good). I would love to go to an anger management class but have neither the time nor the $$$. Any relaxation tips? Or books or websites I can check out? I'm pretty sure I don't need meds or anything like that, just better ways to deal with all this stress. Thanks much for reading and for your input.

Answer 1

I always count backwards from 10 to 1, whenever I find myself in a position where I would normally get angry, as it interrupts that process. Practice for 15 - 20 mins daily, and when needed, the method at http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/ or gaze at a burning candle in a quiet, darkened room for 20 mins; acknowledge stray thoughts and redirect focus to the task at hand. See http://www.coolnurse.com/stress.htm & http://www.coping.org/ & http://www.my-counseling-site.com (.com/anger-counseling.html) Tell your husband that you are trying some new methods to help you with your problems, and would appreciate it if he told you how well you are going, from time to time. 30 mins of moderate daily exercise may help. Yoga, too (http://www.yogasite.com).

Answer 2

I am going through the same things...in a round about way. If I find myself getting angry I try and tell myself it won't do any good to make the situation more negative. That won't resolve anything. Think about what you do have. A new house..a husband who loves you, a job, and your dad is still alive. It could be a lot worse than it is so be grateful for what you do have. Its really tough looking at it this way but I've found that if I think positive things start coming around and get better. As soon as I think negative and let it get to me more goes wrong and I end up getting angrier. Hope things level out for you...let me rephrase that...things will get better!
By the way...give your husband a hug..he might need it, and it's hard to stay mad when you hug someone.

Answer 3

Boy, this is a tough one. I have some similar situations but I just try to step back when things are going wrong and really look at all the good things I do have and what others would die to have. It's hard ecspecially when you're going to sleep with the problems. I do that as well. I think it's virtually impossible to escape it all but just try to take a few seconds when you're really angry and think of all the good things you've got. Hope that helps a bit.

Answer 4

A good stress releaver is physical fitness. Take a gym class. Aerobics, weightlifting, swimming, cycling. These are all good stress outlets and then try a nice, hot relaxing bubble bath and just soak and breathe deeply. If it's scented bubble bath the aroma will soothe you also.

Answer 5

do meditation.it will really help you in analyzing the situation.when your husband shouts,you speak in a low tone and then he will really see a change in you and he will also start comprehending the situation and he will also become like you.be calm always.count to ten whn you are about to get angry
remember this always
nobody can provoke you without your own consent.
so you know,try to calm down a bit and now that there are some people in the world who are there for you.go to them and tell them your problems and they will surely help you.

Answer 6

First, apologize to those you have blown-up at.

Second, explain your recognition of a high-stress point in life.

Third, take breaks of a few minutes here and there to be alone.