help me deal with this problem?

Question

the father of my child does not care about his own flash blood because he doesn't visits the child and now today are told him that it's his daughters birthday he just said okay

Answer 1

Be glad, truthfully. As your daughter gets older, you really don't want to have a creep like that as part of her life. It is sad and unfortunate that people can be that way. My Dad wrote all six of us kids off for 10 years. My sister's ex is so busy getting high, he only wanted to see her and the kids when he needed money to feed his habit. She wised up and just cut him out of their lives completely. Now she doesn't have to worry about some cracked-up jack*** influencing her kids lives. Really, you and your daughter are better off. I know it doesn't seem that way, and you could never understand how he could be so dismissive, but you can't change him.

Answer 2

The more upset you are by the rejection, the more upset she will be. If you made a baby with a jerk, you have to get past any feelings of rejection you may be feeling. Fight for your daughters legal rights (child support). If he doesn't want to give her the emotional support she needs, no amount of drama will make him want to. Your daughter is better served learning that she is a beautiful girl who doesn't NEED his love to be happy. If she senses your anger and dispair, she will grow up feeling that she needs the love of a man to be a valid human being. Lord, what a destructive thing that can be. The time to freak out about a guy who is selfish and irresponsible is BEFORE you sleep with him. Once there are children in the picture, all you can do is damage control.

Answer 3

You can't make him care, child support will help you but increase his resentment of you and your daughter. She doesn't need a male role model like that, it's going to have more of a negative impact than positive. Show her what a strong woman is, and teach her about the kind of man she should have in her life. Don't lower the standards or she'll repeat this pattern with men her whole life. Any man can help make a child, but the good ones earn the right to be a dad.

Answer 4

If you want your daughter to have the possibility of a good, caring father in her life, keep on giving him the opportunity to do so and keep on encouraging him to do so (not in a badgering, nagging, negative way, but in a positive way that will be encouraging for him).

Many men were never taught how to care & nurture or encouraged to do so. They just don't know how. And, they have to fight societal pressures & beliefs that it's something that men simply cannot do.

Don't let your daughter know how hard you're trying or that you think he's bad. Let her be happy with whatever time he can give her. And, help her understand that *you* are happy with it, too. Don't get her hopes up, but be happy when it happens. Have contingency plans in place for those times when you think he might make a promise he can't keep & prepare her for it, gently & politely.

Answer 5

I'm surprised you tolerate an a....h...le like this --- he definitely doesn't care and that's sad --- i never had the opportunity of having children , for a number of reasons , but i know that when i go to my grave -- that will be the one thing that will haunt me --- and you hear time and again these irresponsible blokes that just want to shrug their responsibilities for the sake of what !? --- i got a f---k ? why should i care --- it makes you spit when people like this are on the planet --- but look the best thing you can do is be thankful that he doesn't care --- because he never would and never will and indeed he could make your life a misery ( if he isn't already by not paying maintenance ) --- some things are best left alone . good luck

Answer 6

Unfortunately you can't make him care about his child. It would be great if you could. I would suggest, for your child's sake, don't make a huge deal out of it. If she isn't used to having him around she won't miss him on her birthday. You didn't mention how old she is so if she's young enough it won't affect her now. Maybe as she gets older so will he and he will want to be part of her life. Just love her enough for both you and her father. Best of luck.

Answer 7

i had the same problem with my 2 boys and their father, he wanted nothing to do with them after we split up and there is nothing u can do about it. i had finally got to a point where i said enough is enough. he is the one that is missing out and u are the one that is always going to be there and she will remember that, just dont bad mouth the father to your daughter, believe me, everything bad u might wanna say to her, she will figure out on her own in her own time. i know that this situation is tough but there is nothing u can do, u cant make someone do something they dont want to do and as tough as that might seem, she might be better off without him

Answer 8

If he does not want to be a part of her life, just go on with life. I know it hurts but it is better than he popping in now and again and disappointing her often.

Answer 9

if he doesnt want anything to do with his children then take him to court to pay child support. if they are to young, make him visit them so they understand having a father. once they get older just make him pay the money.

Answer 10

keep him out of the picture! Don't give him updates / etc...he is obviously a dead beat parent...do you actually want him around your child???? I wouldn't