Okay so this is my problem. My seven year old nephew is one of those lil boys who on top of having a super energetic attitude, has a SMART *** mouth. And I will admit I can be strict, but thats only if your attitude asks for it. And I will spank your *** if you get outta line, but only as a last resort. Now I havent been around him for a while and he is steadily getting worse, as he gets older. So now when my sister brings him over I dread it, because I have to restrain myself from getting on his bad ***, because she will have an attitude with me and UNDERMIND me in front of him, which makes him of course think its ok for him to do what he does and also think I cant do nothing to him. But whats messed up is, ill get on him for something and he'll run to his mom(my sister) and then she'll scold me and then not even 2seconds later she's getting on him and spanking him for the SAME thing I was getting on him for. I understand its her kid, but i'm his Uncle. Anybody else go trhough this?
2007-04-12 01:44:37 · 7 answers · asked by Yahoo 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
And I know you all are probably thinkin why are you posting this problem up on here, but I just did it to vent, and im curious about what other people go through.
2007-04-12 01:45:32 · update #1
your house your rules ! if your sister brings her unruly son over to your house you need to tell her that she has to control her son or you will. That does not mean spank him just be firm with him and let him understand that you will not stand for his smart mouth or bad behavior. that poor boy needs stability and love
2007-04-12 03:00:12 · answer #1 · answered by Badkarma4me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The rule in our house for ALL children, rather they are related or friends' children, is that my rules go. This is very clearly explained to my family and friends. We have never had an issue. I have never laid a hand on them, as in spanking, but they have gotten time outs, and been scolded. The parents have watched me the first few times and after that, they basically let me run my house rules. My rules are based on treating the people in my house and my belongings with respect and staying safe. Other than that, I am fairly lenient with rules. I would personally have a frank discussion with my sister (if I was in your shoes) and let her know my feelings. If she was not in agreement, then I would have to respectfully request that we meet on neutral ground (like a park, etc) where I could walk away if needed.
Your other option (kind of underhanded, but effective) is to reprimand him infront of your sister and use the phrasing "I am sure your mother does not allow x behavior". That sets it up that she either has to support her child's poor behavior or your rules. My experience is that the parent will back up the adult when it is phrased like that. Good luck - these family situations are not easy to deal with!
2007-04-12 09:02:50 · answer #2 · answered by EAArcher 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say this but if your sister has decided not to discipline her children, there isn't much you can do about it. My suggestion would be to let them all know that you have rules that have to be followed when they are visiting your house. I kind of know what you are going through b/c my sister lets her son get away with almost anything. Although he doesn't mouth off, at six years old he is already a really sneaky kid (like will go in my cabinet and take sweets and go and hide and eat them) and he is a very accomplished liar. I catch him at these things at my house and my sister's all the time but my sister does nothing about it. I can't imagine what kind of man he'll grow into if he's like this at six.
2007-04-12 09:43:26 · answer #3 · answered by Sylvia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a niece who is the same way. My sister doesnt ever discipline her and lets her get away with anything and then when I have to babysit her she is terrible and I get yelled at for disciplining my niece. My niece is allowed to hit her mother and make messes and not clean them and when I tell her to clean or if I spank her for hitting me then I get yelled at for it. I definately know where you are coming from. I try not to have my niece around either because then my son thinks he can be the same way as her and it drives me crazy.
2007-04-12 09:03:06 · answer #4 · answered by ltlmomma22 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i've dealt with similar situations with my bros kids though not as bad. it doesn't matter what he's allowed to do in his own house. this is YOUR house and you have house rules. if you've laid them out to him, ie; no running, no back talk etc., and he continues to break them, tell him, in front of your sister, that he will no longer be allowed over until he can behave and follow the house rules. period. no doubt, your sis will say something but, that's a risk you'll have to take.
2007-04-12 10:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a younger cousin that was and I told her and told her and when she did it again, she was spanked. It was with my hand over her jeans. She went and told mommy and mommy scolded me and I told her about everything and she just went off in a tizzy. I told my uncle and he said she was long over due. and told me good job.
2007-04-12 14:05:06 · answer #6 · answered by tm41170 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this whole family needs anger management classes- start by finding the positive things to praise the child on- he is getting attention by being bad. Bad attention is better than no attention at all, in his mind.
Start loving on the boy, he is starving for attention and boundaries. Watch nanny 911. This will give you ideas on how to get order in the family.
2007-04-12 08:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by northville 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋