The government is trying to encourage grandparents to help their kids by looking after the grandchildren.?

Question

I had an incident last week where a little 7-year old hurt himself (it could have been really bad). I realised then that I am not confident in my ability to control someone else's child - they don't have the discipline I instilled in my own children.
So, if you're a grandparent, how do you cope now we no longer smack?

Rachel - are you confident that your parents could control your child?

Sorry Hotgirl - I don't understand your defensive attitude. My point is that few children realise the boundaries - I've done quite a bit of work in schools, so this isn't an unusual attitude.
If you've taught your son boundaries, good for you. These kids I was with were undisciplined. One was smacked, one wasn't. They were both hideous. I don't have the space or time for long punishments like "time-outs". I want disciplined children if I am to take care of them. I am not bringing them up - at times I am needed to babysit them. That's it!

Answer 1

I think it is terrible but discipline seems to be a dirty word these days.

I think I'm in the minority these days but I think a smack, obviously not a hit, is an acceptable way to teach when children are too young to learn another way.

Unfortunately we are now getting second or third generation who are growing up without discipline. I would not dare to take care of children these days.

Answer 2

I don't understand why the word 'discipline' equates to the word 'smack' these days, I discipline my toddler but I have and will never smack him.
My mum takes care of him while I work and has never and will never smack him. He is totally controllable knows his boundary's and hates his punishments. I use naughty chair/step and he hates it so much that I hardly need to use it because he is generally quite well behaved.
My mum is totally in control when he is with her.
We are totally confident in the way we discipline my son and he knows it, he knows he can't walk all over us. We have achieved all of this without smacking him once! sorry if that upsets people but it's the truth!
I was smacked by my dad but never my mum, I decided to treat my child the way she treated me and it is working, so does that make me a bad parent?
Can you sit down with the child's parents and find out how they deal with bad behaviour and re-enforce the same rules when the child is with you? consistency in the way the child is disciplined may help, that way the child cannot play you off against each other because the child will know the same rules apply who ever he is with.
I think confidence and consistency is the key, if there is a lack of discipline in the home environment, address this with them and point out that it is making it harder for you to care for your grandchild.

I think you may have added a tone of voice to my posting, I did not mean to offend you or provoke you. it is just an honest account of the situation we have with my mum, and some suggestions for your situation, I thought that was what you were looking for, it was not meant to be taken to heart or meant for you personally just for all who might read it, my fault, sorry to offend.
Also what you say brings me back to the point I was making, if they are undisciplined at home then it will make it harder for you when they are in your care, if you don't have the time to deal with badly behaved children then state this to the parents and tell them when they have taught their child how to behave they may bring them back to be cared for by you.

Answer 3

Learn how to discipling without smacking. Children of 7 years know right from wrong. So punish them where it really hurts, with toys/tv/free time/food, any of these things.
I do it with my 4 year old. He knows the rules so you give him a warning for doing something wrong and tell him what happens if he does it again (which is taking something away that he likes) you continue on until they are told to jsut sit in their room and not come out.
You have to be really consistant with this though or they dont learn.

Answer 4

relatively relies upon on circumstances. If the grandparents are finding after the youngster for an important volume of time and so offering section or finished time new child care then there is not any clarification why the should not be financially compensated. some grandparents are financially look after and so do not choose or choose paying yet for some fee is mandatory and considered necessary earnings.

Answer 5

i'm not a grand parent but a parent. i don't allow others to spank my children at all. not even my dad. i don't think it's their place. my dad has always had a voice that scared the crap out of me when i was young. it does the same with my son's. that's usually enough to put them in their place. that and respect for him. he is 78 now so he doesn't really watch them anymore. he's done his time raising myself and my siblings. i don't think it's fair that grandparents should have to help raise their grandchildren too. babysitting sometimes is fine but they deserve their time now.

Answer 6

My mum wouldlove to be able to look after my son some days a week, but she still works. I would feel 100% happy with his safety whilst in her care