Help!!! My neighbour keeps flashing himself to me!!!?

Question

Theres this guy who lives in a flat opposite me. We are both on the same floor but different buildings. I am a nosey neighbour and I often see him walk round starkers. He knows I am there but it never bothers him. Recently he has started looking at me through binoculars and messing with his thing in full view of me. Who is wrong? Him for being a pervert weirdo or am I just as wrong for being nosey and spotting him in the first place? I want to go to the police cos hes scaring me now but I dont want to get done for being a peeping Tom. Help!!!

Answer 1

Report him to the police now - it is disgusting and he shouldn't be allowed to make you feel uncomfy. He may have a record so talk to them now.

Answer 2

It doesn't matter whether you were wrong to look in the first place, the issue here is your personal safety. If this guy wants to walk round starkers with the curtains open, that's up to him - he knows someone's gonna see him sooner or later. And I can't really blame you for looking, you're only human. If it had been a woman, I would have had a look. But if he then starts touching himself, that's against the law because the fact that he's on his property is irrelevant if he's in view of the public.

Cheryl's answer was possibly the most stupid thing I've ever heard - you don't know anything about this guy and he's doing that? Alarm bells are ringing now, and although he might be totally harmless, the fact that he does something so bizarre to someone he doesn't know suggests he could be (that's COULD be, not IS) capable of more.

Draw your curtains, inform other people on your floor so that they're aware of the problem (the more people that know, the less isolated you are), then inform the police. Include in your report to the police that there are other people on your floor aware of the problem and request that they tell him that when they caution him - then he knows the police are aware of him and he also knows you're not alone. He can't hurt you then.

Good luck :)

Answer 3

How did you spot him in the first place?! Were you there with binoculars? No? Well then anyone could spot him, including children. Report him. You can't get done for witnessing the blindingly obvious. Any decent person would close curtains before parading around if they like going starkers and they certainly wouldn't masterbate in the window or use binoculars to see you. You have a responsibility to report him, a) because hes breaking the law already and b) because people like this will try to take it further to get a new buzz. If you are not going to report him as a precautionary measure for your own safety, do it for the safety of other innocent bystanders. You would never forgive yourself if anything happened as a result. If what hes doing is so obvious just report him whilst hes doing it so they catch him in the act and just say you would prefer not to give your name (though they might think its a windup if you don't tell them why you don't want to give your details) . If police don't come quick enough then you have no choice but to record the event as proof. Not classed as perving because its not for personal use. You would hand it straight over so that justice can be done. Just don't ignore it or encourage it.

Answer 4

You weren't really being a peeping tom in my opinion, just a little nosy like you said before. Spying into someone's home with binoculars on the other hand IS. Your neighbour sounds like a right pervert to me. Some of the previous comments do have a point though; you were sort of encouraging this by looking smeaking a peek into his flat in the 1st place.

I wouldn't really recommend going to the police because technically, he hasn't really done anything wrong. Just close your curtains and ignore him if your paths ever cross. However, if you feel harrassed because he starts doing things like following you and flashing himself to you out in the street or something, then go to the police. Be honest in your statement though about spying on him 1st. If you lie and are then proven wrong they're not very likely to take the case seriously.

Answer 5

This also happened to me, I hadn't moved into my new place long and hadn't got round to getting curtains. I noticed that this guy was having a fiddle on quite a few occasions, staring right at my window, completely starkers. I contemplated phoning the police but I just got some curtains as quick as I could and made sure I didn't ever look at his window after dark. I would phone the police if I were you - he shouldn't be looking at you through binoculars, that's really crossing the line. He should receive at least a warning from the police for that.

Answer 6

If he hadn't spotted u being nosey in the first place he probably wouldn't of started the pervy behaviour, I'm not saying he is right but he must think u have been showing an interest, nice curtains is all you need and stop staring at him, if he does do anymore than call the police as he hasn't broken the law and it u don't watch u wont see will you

Answer 7

Id keep your curtains closed for a few days. I dont know if there is much you can do unless he actually tries to go to your flat. He probably thinks you fancy him. But if you keep your curtains closed for a few days he might get the idea. If not maybe next time he does it pretend your waving at someone then he might think you have a friend in another flat or something. Or you could get a good looking male friend to come round to your flat more and maybe if he sees him he might stop doing it. Good Luck - if none of these work apart from maybe having a word with him I would possibly go to the police as a last resort.

Answer 8

Get a web cam and make some money from him by putting it on line in a pervs voyeur website.
You should be aware that He can do what he wants in his own home, next you will complaining he masturbates with his curtains shut?
I am sure you have more to look than his windows, also, if he is next door to you what are the binoculars all about? are you using binos on him?

Lastly it would have to be a guy as your neighbour and you would have to be a woman,,,

Seems like you should get out more...Your neighbour is doing nothing wrong apart from pissing you off showing you something you can't afford and you are pissing him off being a nosey neighbour.

Answer 9

You don't have to look, but it appears to me that you must have looked many times through his window for him to do these things.

You may have also inadvertently undressed or something in his view at some time.

I would suggest that you dont peep & if you continue he will show off even more.

If you ignore him he will be exposing himself to others & not to you.

You cant be a peeping Tom by looking out of your window. That is your right & that is why we have windows so if you feel that you need to call the Police for your safety then do so but I doubt that they could do anything about it as he is in his private flat & you have the option of turning away, he is not forcing you to watch he is doing it because you are watching & he knows it.

I peep all the time that is why I have a big smile so you be happy too.

Answer 10

I think you are both at blame in some aspects. You say you 'often' see him walking around starkers - meaning you obviously spend a lot of time looking into his flat - possibly looking for something to happen. I think this man has taken this signal as a go ahead for the next step - playing with himself! If you didn't want to see this you wouldnt have stood around to watch but at the same time i do think this man is vulgeour to be doing this.

Why not go to citizens advice and explain your situation - they may be able to point you/advise you if involving the police is the next step for you.

I think if you try and avoid starring out this window for a few months the guy will soon get bored of not having an audience to 'perform' for.

Answer 11

Hmm, on the limited information you have given- and if you are in either England or Wales - it appears he's committing the crime of Exposure, as defined by Section 66 of the Sexual Offences Act, 2003;

66 Exposure

(1) A person commits an offence if-

(a) he intentionally exposes his genitals, and
(b) he intends that someone will see them and be caused alarm or distress.
(2) A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable-

(a) on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months or a fine not exceeding the statutory maximum or both;
(b) on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 2 years.

To put your mind at rest about being construed as a voyeur, Ss 67 and 68 define "voyeurism" and "voyeur" as follows;

67 Voyeurism

(1) A person commits an offence if-

(a) for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification, he observes another person doing a private act, and
(b) he knows that the other person does not consent to being observed for his sexual gratification.
(2) A person commits an offence if-

(a) he operates equipment with the intention of enabling another person to observe, for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification, a third person (B) doing a private act, and
(b) he knows that B does not consent to his operating equipment with that intention.
(3) A person commits an offence if-

(a) he records another person (B) doing a private act,
(b) he does so with the intention that he or a third person will, for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification, look at an image of B doing the act, and
(c) he knows that B does not consent to his recording the act with that intention.
(4) A person commits an offence if he instals equipment, or constructs or adapts a structure or part of a structure, with the intention of enabling himself or another person to commit an offence under subsection (1).

(5) A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable-

(a) on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months or a fine not exceeding the statutory maximum or both;
(b) on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 2 years.

68 Voyeurism: interpretation

(1) For the purposes of section 67, a person is doing a private act if the person is in a place which, in the circumstances, would reasonably be expected to provide privacy, and-

(a) the person's genitals, buttocks or breasts are exposed or covered only with underwear,
(b) the person is using a lavatory, or
(c) the person is doing a sexual act that is not of a kind ordinarily done in public.
(2) In section 67, "structure" includes a tent, vehicle or vessel or other temporary or movable structure.

Call the police immediately - you do not have to put up with this and you are - it seems from what you have said - extremely unlikely to be charged with anything as you haven't committed any offence, unless it falls within the realms of Ss 67 and 68 above.

And if you're contemplating NOT calling the police, just remember you may not be the only person he is doing this to and you therefore have a moral duty to stop him before he causes any more harrassment, alarm, distress or offence to anyone else - and that may include the young and vulnerable as well.

p.s. Just been reading some of the other answers on here and want to give a word of advice - do NOT film him or take photos - there are a whole raft of criminal (and civil) law reasons why you shouldn't starting with the potential offence of voyeurism...