Here's my problem, When I was ten years old and I was back in my country my Dad always used to come drunk and hit my mom and my big bro. and sometime he even hit me with a hose or with whatever he could find (wires etc.) and I started hating him so much, until the day he got really sick and died, and I remember that when he was being lowering down to earth It was raining and everyone was crying but me, I remember that I laughed the hardest I could, I was so happy, but I still remember how I laughed! I can't forget.
Now at night I get nightmares of that day, is it bad? sometimes I can't sleep, Is it my mind feeling guilty, or redemption, Help what can I do??
2007-04-09 18:10:16 · 12 answers · asked by Vicz101 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Dear, You don't need mental advise. You have been through hell and back with your father when he was alive. You were young when he died and you probably thought that he got what he deserved. What you do need to do is to talk out loud to him in your room or where no one hears you and tell him what you hated about him and why. It is okay, as a matter of fact it is good to cry out the pain that he caused. The next step to getting you to feel better about you is for you to tell him that you forgive him for all the mean times you lived through. Really forgive him honey, because alcoholism is a true disease that makes many people very mean and ugly and they do hurt the ones that they love because you are the handiest person around to hurt because they hate themselves. Forgive him with all of your heart and start trying to rememeber just a few good times that might make you smile or laugh and remember him when he was sober for the small amount of time that he was. No wonder that you hated him at 10 years old, you were just a child afraid for all of your families lives. Fogive yourself for your feelings, no one can blame you. The only thing that you have to be careful of is that when you are old enough to get married that you don't marry someone just like him. Girls tend to marry men just like their fathers' so please don't marry a parrtier or a part-time drinker. Be careful that you don't have the same addiction because it is heriditary, so you really do need to stay away from any type of drinking for social affairs or parties and please keep away from any drugs. I will be praying for you that you can let go of the guilt. You were but a mere child who was glad to see your Mother and your siblings to stop being hurt. Check out my site and it may give you some comfort at: www.spiritual-harmony.com tamm0449
2007-04-09 18:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Tamara L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-18 00:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, have you ever seen a show called Degrassi? There is an episode about a guy who dealt with the same situation as you. Basically, even though your dad was a jerkoff, he was still your dad. You lived with him... it's only natural to be upset that he's officially gone. And even though you thought you were happy that he died, honestly, I bet that you don't wish that on anyone. I hope everything turns out okay with you.
2007-04-09 18:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by ashleyuvjra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is all understandable. I think it's normal to still be haunted by all of it, too. See if you can get some couseling at school or church or somewhere. Sometime just talking about it and getting it out helps. Good luck!
2007-04-09 18:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by natsuko1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive your father and forgive yourself. There is more than one side to life. You can have bad feelings about someone and still love them. Just be merciful to all and try to think of the good things.
2007-04-09 18:17:05 · answer #5 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I were you, I would have laughed too. And cheered. And had a party. Cheers, la.
They might not be nightmares. I would look at it as your subconscious remembering a happy memory.
2007-04-09 18:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by Mayleena 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
SOUNDS LIKE YOUR DAD ABUSED YOUR FAMILY A LOT AND I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR HATING HIM!! ITS A HUMAN FEELING TO HAVE!!! AND FOR LAUGHING THAT CAN ACTUALLY BE A DEFENSE FEELING SO YOU WOULDN'T CRY OVER SOMEONE WHO MADE YOU FEEL SO BEAT DOWN!!! IF THIS IS TEARING UP YOUR LIFE SEEK COUNSELING TALKING, WRITING IT DOWN CAN TAKE POWER AWAY FROM IT!!! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED TO YOU!!! DON'T LET IT RUIN YOUR LIFE
2007-04-09 18:23:05 · answer #7 · answered by hippie-chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you learn to forgive him, you can let him go and this memory go as well. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we have to do in this life, but if we forgive, then we deserve forgiveness also.
2007-04-09 18:51:49 · answer #8 · answered by k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
feelings are feelings, he had no empathy for you and your family when he was abusing you,....so why would you cry at his demise? Do not feel bad, it would seem strange to me if you were sad.when he passed........thank god he's gone......
2007-04-09 18:17:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should seek help of psych my friend that will help you. Also pray about it this is very serious on your psychi
2007-04-09 18:13:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋