ive been with him for about 2 yrs now...and we got engaged when we was together only 6 months....i wanna marry him and spend the rest of my life with him..ASAP...i know i cant rush things but i wanna...im 19 and hes 20...i love him so much we been through so much together and everything means alot...he says he is going to marry me soon..but doesnt wanna tell me when...he says its going to be a suprise? should i let it be like that? you try to find out more...
2007-04-09 13:54:51 · 14 answers · asked by Kristy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i have a ring...and i know we wont have a huge wedding he wants to suprised me on the court part....and im 19 yea i still drink now...so age has nothin to do with it
2007-04-10 07:41:19 · update #1
ive been living with him almost a yr now
2007-04-10 07:42:53 · update #2
My friend is 19 and she just got engaged over the summer, shes not getting married for another 5 years. Truthfully, I don't think you should either. I know it really doesn't seem like it and more than likely you will not take my advice but there are soo many opportunities for you to meet other soulmates. Furthermore, at 20 he is probably not finacially or emotionally ready for marriage. And yes yes yes! You should let it be a surprise all the way. You should live off excitement of being engaged for a couple years at least.
2007-04-09 15:16:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A surprise wedding? I don't really think so. I mean that would mean you would not have the wedding you envisioned but instead what he envisions which could be a bbq before a nascar race/football game. no gorgeous white dress and no friends or family. doesn't sound like much of a way to start this life together to me.
perhaps he isn't ready to set a date yet because he is using logical reasoning. just b/c you want to be together for the rest of your lives doesn't mean it has to start today. and marriage stats for people who are your age are not good stats to read. you have far greater than 50% chance of divorce b/c you are too young. people change a lot. Perhaps he knows that financially you 2 are not ready for marriage. money problems are the #1 cause of divorce. Can the 2 of you support yourself or are you currently living with the parents? If he is "the one" he will still be the one a year from now. two years from now. there is no need to rush. women who rush suspect that he doesn't think she is the one and therefore want to catch him in marriage so he can't change his mind. no need for that!
Perhaps he doesn't want to set a date for a lot of reasons. he could just be afraid of commitment. Most 20 yo males are. They are young and have a lot of life to live.
Have you even talked about the things you need to talk about before marriage? If you are unsure, in my sources I've put several books to check out. Going through at least one of them will give your marriage a much better chance of surviving.
But really, just b/c he doesn't want to set a date yet doesn't mean you should push him. Just allow your relationship to develop as is and if you are right for each other, you'll get married. When it is right for both of you.
2007-04-09 14:53:18 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally I would say you've given him long enough, and to either commit to a date or move on...but, given your ages, I'd say to wait a while longer and be patient. You both still have alot of growing up to do, although I know you don't think you do, you do. People change SOOO much between about 18 and 25 it's not even funny. If your relationship can stand the test of time, it will probably work out for you to be married, and if not, then you know that as well. Just be patient, ok? Wait until you guys can support yourselves, live on your own for awhile, etc., etc., etc. You've both got so much living to do!! Have fun!
2007-04-09 14:16:54 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would sit him down and tell him a wedding is for BOTH of you to plan, and should not be a surprise. A wedding takes some planning, so I would sit down and set a date when you are both 21, that way you have time to save up for a wedding you want and gives you a few more years together.
2007-04-10 06:44:37 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My own opinion you are both too young to rush things. What is marriage? It's like a contract, yeah you made your vows and all that, but does it really guarantee a happy ever after? Many get into marriage hurriedly and yet few years after the couple divorce. A marriage contract does not hold or bond people per se. It's what you feel and how you could make your relationship stable and happy together that makes you a couple forever.
2007-04-09 14:09:45 · answer #5 · answered by á?¦â?«â?¥flygalâ?¥â?«á?¦ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your only 19, live life some before living together, don't get married.
2007-04-09 14:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by acedelux 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you are already engaged and you know everything will work out, I would just wait. Maybe he is planning something spectacular that you don't even know about.
2007-04-09 16:41:21 · answer #7 · answered by Jake H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you aren't officially engaged until you have a ring and a wedding date, so he better show you he is serious by planning a definite date with you.
2007-04-09 21:23:48 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
how can he surprise you unless he wants to elope? don't you want to plan this through so family and friends can come ? i would ask to set a date so you can plan it together, i don't think a wedding is something that should be a surprise.
2007-04-09 14:01:48 · answer #9 · answered by gone fishing! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know he does because he wouldnt have asked you to marry him if he didnt want to get married. plus I say wait for the surprize
2007-04-09 14:03:35 · answer #10 · answered by bearcatz_07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋