Should i become abstinent?

Question

I know it was wrong for me to loose my viriginity when i was quite young.
I had only just turned 15... I regret it so much now.

But now that i'm older and have had more experience i don't enjoy it anymore.


Sex to me, even if its with somebody i am truely in love with means nothing. I only do it to please my partener and don't enjoy it and find it stressful.

My partener is willing to accept it if i chose to become abstinent because he says he loves me for who i am not what i'm like in bed.

Has anybody been through this too? Did it resolve?

Is anybody here abstinent?

Answer 1

My personal belief is that you should abstain until marriage. If you want to remain abstinent until then and become a "born again" virgin, I say good for you! If your guy doesn't wait for you, he isn't worth your time. Sex should be intimate and meaningful, and if it isn't to you, you shouldn't do it. I'm almost 20 years old and I'm staying a virgin until I marry.

Answer 2

Sexuality is all approximately socially and in my opinion built labels. exterior of a few legal definitions, that are nonetheless socially very backward --pornography continues to be defined legally by skill of no count if it motives an erection, to illustrate, even however many ladies view it for arousal--you will no longer discover any set "regulations" for sexuality. Your sexuality relies upon on the type you cutting-edge it to your self and the human beings around you. in case you assert you're abstinent, then you certainly are. no count if human beings around you share the comparable definition of abstinence is a few thing you are able to no longer administration and isn't any longer the comparable from man or woman to man or woman besides.

Answer 3

Yes I have been through this I think what you're doing takes a strong will and I commend you for it. He loves you and respects your decision. I think it's very hard for me cause yeah I mean it's hard not to think about, but at the same time I gotta think with my head and when the time comes when I'm ready and can handle what may come from it, then I will do it. It does work if you just try hard enough and focus on other things as well like school or work or stuff like that.

Answer 4

In today's generation many would indulge in premarital sex. Maybe for some people it's old fashion to reserve yourself for your future husband. Certainly, most people are very liberated and I respect other peoples choices.

I am one of the old fashion... and I guess what you are experiencing is a feeling of guilt. Maybe it's the reason why you could not enjoy making love with your partner. I think for you to resolve your feelings, you go back to your values and what is important to you...because you can't enjoy something when your heart is not in it. You do sex because you want to please your partner, but you are not really there, how could it be enjoyable for him? In the long run, both of you will be unhappy.

Answer 5

Excuse me, but I am abstinent and have been in a relationship with the same, amazing guy for the past year. I plan on waiting for marriage. If you find the guy, he will understand, if he's pressuring you to do anything you don't want to do, than he's not respecting you.

Answer 6

I don't think this is a good idea...I think what you are feeling you don't entirely understand otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question... I would seek professional help in this matter...I believe there is something much deeper going here than just a low sex drive...sexuality in most all of it's forms is a natural human desire...for you to be completely sexually barren there must be a physical or psychological explanation...

Answer 7

I think you should seek counsel, you are still not over your past experiences, & probably has become traumatic to you causing futher problems in your relationship now.
If you don't seek help, just do a little research. It won't hurt...
The important thing is your partner is supportive, & maybe you are ready to deal w/your problems from back then.

P.S. Don't be so hard on yourself, everybody deserves a 2nd chance.

good luck

Answer 8

yes sweetie, it is totally okay to become abstinent if you don't feel like sex. lots of us women only start enjoying sex for real in our thirties ( but then try and stop us!). alternatively you could go along just for your partner's sake, if you value that relationship enough. nothing wrong with doing something just for the guy when you don't get much out of it.

and concentrate on your speling and gremmer in the meantime ;-)

seriously - wish you luck, be well. we have all been there at least at one time.....

Answer 9

I think you need to deal with past issues of losing your virginity...intimacy should be a healthy and enjoyable experience for you and your partner...it should be a phyical demonstration of your emotional love...perhaps because that was missing before you are only acting during sex, and not expressing your intimacy...seek professional therapy...it may allow you to experience the joy that your missing...good luck and thanks for being so honest with such a personal question.

Answer 10

lots of women have this problem (are you female??) but i will say, that sex isn't everything, but trouble in the sack will lead to problems down the road, even if you never thought possible. consider a therapist if you're really concerned.