Is it strange for a father to sleep with his daughter?

Question

My boyfriend occasionally sleeps with his 12 year old daughter when she stays with him. He and the girl's mother recently got divorced and she is having a hard time with it.
I have no reason to think there is anything inappropriate going on but I don't know if this is ok or not.

Answer 1

No, that's not OK.

A 12 year old girl is going (or has gone) through puberty. That's where the line is drawn. And she is especially confused and vulnerable about men because of the parent's divorce. She has all kinds of questions and curiosities that DON"T need to be answered this way.

It's just plain inappropriate.... even if there's nothing "going on"

Answer 2

It is a very bad idea.

Men having a hard time could turn to sex, and the temptation of a girl so close to hand could be too much, especially if he gets drunk.

Of course he could be the ideal father and would be repulsed with any thought of having sex with his own daughter. But, if people found out he was sleeping with his daughter then they are very likely to think what I stated in the paragraph above.

If your are worried enough about it to ask a question about it then imagine what would happen if Child Protective Services found out about this sleeping arraignment. I can tell you what would happen they would take away his daughter!

I don't see a 12-year-old turning to her father for more than comfort, but it could happen, at least there is the risk it could happen.

Child Protective Services usually requires a female daughter who is staying with her parent have her own bedroom; especially, if a father is involved. They see to many cases of child abuse that start this way and no matter what is really going on they will jump to the conclusion that something bad is going on.

Answer 3

I would think it's strange, but maybe I have hang-ups about it. Even the phrase "sleeping with" has sexual connotation and I wouldn't risk it. But my step-daughter has gone through stages when her mom was in the hospital or something and she needed (or wanted) someone (or me) to hold her hand while she went to sleep and so I just lay there, off the bed, on the floor next to her, holding her hand, but never on the same bed.
A guy has to realize that all of these experiences are molding the child's mind too, even if nobody else thinks about it.
Even when my daughters want to lay in bed with me, and I really do enjoy it, I set a time and activity limit.
One has to be careful and mature for the children too.

Answer 4

Separate rooms or at least separate beds is ok.....but if they sleep in the same bed, the there something wrong with that. Im sorry but there are too many cases in today's world with something "inappropriate" happening with a grown man sleeping with a 12 year old girl

Answer 5

I think that a 12 year old girl shouldn't be sleeping with her dad, and even if the circumstances may seem hard, there are plenty of ways he can give her his love and support without having that kind of proximity, that may lead to confusions. And that, I think, is the least thing the girl needs right now. If he's looking for support, or trying to make up for something, or whatever, he may find it with you, friends if he has, or he may just have to find the strenght within that he needs to go thought this, without adding to it. Maybe he's just confused right now, and if he can clear out he's mind he'll realize that he's behavior isn't altogether appropriate.

Answer 6

Okay, well, first of all even if there's nothing inappropriate going on, it's a good idea to avoid this, because, it can make the child have trouble sleeping on there own. Trust me, it happened to me, except with my mom. Secondly, you should talk to her, and watch how she acts around her dad, if it's rather uncomfortable, then you should probably consider telling him that this might not be the best solution. Finally, try some "girl talk" with her, it might help her get everything off her chest. Hope that helps~!

Answer 7

Not a good idea on many levels. Even if you are sure nothing is going on - it doesn't look good. Men can become aroused in their sleep and that would not be a good thing for him to have to explain to her should he roll over and accidentally touch her. If she shares the information with friends and it gets around school - there are people who will naturally think the worst - perhaps even turning him in to DHS. He is giving his ex-wife ammunition to use against him - no matter how innocent he may think it is, Grown men do NOT sleep with 12 year old girls. You are right to be concerned.

Answer 8

It's not sick or discusting. I have a thirteen year old and you know that age is very unpredictable. She means the world to me and I think sometimes daughter wants to know and feel the security of her father. Dad's just like the bid teddy bear she used to have on her bed when she was younger. She knows that is the one man that will always be there for her and will never hurt her.

Answer 9

I think it's okay if it's totally innocent. You should know him better than we do. They must have a great bond and a lot of love their. They don't see it any other way unless it's put in their head that it's wrong. Eventually she will not want to be in the bed with him. She'll feel too grown up to be sleeping with daddy. Give it some time.

Answer 10

I don't believe there is anything remotely strange about it at all. Directly after my mother had been forced to move out because of certain... circumstances, my smallest sister slept in my father's room almost every night. It might be for the comfort of your boyfriend's daughter...