A week a go I found out that my fiance had started having a fling with a girl online. We are in the Us and she is in New Zealand. SOmeone we play cards with. It lasted for 3 days and had stopped 2 days before I found out. He told me that with me being on meds for my tooth and sleeping (they makde me sleep) that I wasn't having time for him and wasn't giving him attention. As soon as he gave me my meds and I was out of it he would go to her. He told her things about us that he shouldn't, including that he wanted to call the wedding off but didn't know how and that he thought about just up and leaving. He also said he loved her. They exchanged nude pics and she was even calling his cell. My family says to let it go that she was just a fantasy and that he was there with me. He says she means nothing and that he will never talk to her again. He says he's sorry, he just needed attention. So now I don't know if I should just let it go or if I should be concerned. He's never done this before.
2007-04-09 09:18:44 · 6 answers · asked by my_own_frog 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your fiance sounds like a real douche bag! Waiting like a manipulative and deceitful guy for the right moment to spring this news on you. He sounds very cold and calculating. I would seriously re-evaluate your relationship, and at the very least your new trust issues.
How would he feel if you were doing what he did? I doubt he would be happy, and you have every right to consider kicking him to the curb. Beware, he might do this again, when you least expect it. Make sure he never takes a life insurance policy out on your name..... shady guy, be warned!
2007-04-16 13:46:25 · answer #1 · answered by Loren C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beware. Next time you are on meds or even sleepy for no reason at all, he's going to cheat! That is what this skunk is telling you. He's blaming you for his cheating. YOU didn't give me attention and that is why I cheated.
Skunk!
The nude pics had nothing to do with your card games. Neither do the cell phone calls. Your family is crazy and I'm guessng that they don't want to face the ordeal of calling the wedding off and witnessing you two breaking up. But this guy is not marriage material. Why would you want to make that huge horrendous mistake.
He just needed attention? What a snake to try to make you think you weren't giving him enough attention and so it was all justified in his mind.
You should be concerned. You should be calling off the wedding. He's never done it before. There's a good chance he'll do it again, but you will be 2 months pregnant and have insomnia and morning sickness and 'he won't be getting enough attention'. Run run run the other way - break up with this jerk.
2007-04-16 19:23:20 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I feel for you because you've been going through a lot and for what you said, your family hasn't supported you at all.
I seriously don't think you should let something like this go. Well I don't know what do you think you should let go, the fact that he pretended to be there for you and he was deceiving you while you were sick or the fact that he told personal details of your relationship to a stranger or that he shared intimate "material" with someone other than you.
I don't know to what level of betrayal a person can get but you fiance just raised that up.
Doesn't matter what your family says and all the time you have spent in this relationship, if you have already confronted him and all he has given you are excuses and he had the nerve of blaming you (because you didn't pay attention to him?? GIVE ME A BREAK) I don't think you have much of a choice because even if you tried to let it go, I don't think you could, and honestly I don't know if its worth the try.
Seriously, good luck. I hope this helps.
2007-04-17 12:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by Hips16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brutal... Ether way no love there!!! Watch this guy, 2 days was all the excuse he need to cheat on you emotional at the least, at the very least, and it doesn't mean it was mature emotional intimacy ether. But thats plan wrong, and you family is just plain, what? A fantasy? My god they actual think that its ok for a guy to do that to a person after 2 days? I wouldn't tolerate if it been two weeks, thats just said and shows that guys got NO self-control. Then your family justifies his actions with it being a harmless fantasy? Sounds like there the one with the fantasy... Fact is your guy there is just a little boy, I mean he needed the attention? My lord so what happens if you have a job? Sorry hunny but your not around enought for me... What about when you taking care of kids? Sorry hunny but you spend more time with them then me.... I mean honestly let this guy go! That was such a little kiddo move its not even funny, its makes me angry actually.. THERE IS NO REASON TO CHEAT! Weather it means something, weather it was serious, doesn't matter its apparnet that this guy can't keep himself happy and is looking for anything he can to feel in that void, if your not there he'll find something else. And realize if this is what he does during the courtship, whats he going to do when your married and you can't just up and leave? Love yourself.... you don't deserve this.... this guys payback for someone else's hoe who descides to actual settledown, for a lady with class, well if you got it, take what you've got left and leave this guy...and don't listen to your family, thats just sad, sad advice....
2007-04-10 10:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by Brutal Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unload this creep. Your question gives you all the reasons you would ever need. Just unload this creep. Also, if you could, you might consider that your family is no support system for you and your self-esteem in the future. Don't you have a friend who has self respect who can give you good advice in the future?
2007-04-17 00:08:43 · answer #5 · answered by margot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to believe that your family said to let it go.
I'd say dump him! If everything you said is true get rid of him.
2007-04-17 11:49:43 · answer #6 · answered by Wilhelmina F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋