My friend is pregnant with her second child. She had a shower with her first child but I didn't know her at the time. She just called saying she was sending me an invitation to her shower. I get the feeling she hoped I'd throw it for her (which I didn't because it's her second). I think the whole idea is very tacky, throwing her own shower, shower for a second baby, etc.
Should I go?
2007-04-09 07:44:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Her first child is 4. She's told me already that she has everything she needs because she kept all her daughter's stuff (crib, highchair, etc.) Also she get pregnant under not-so-great circumstances and she gripes about the baby nonstop. I was the only one happy for her when she announced she was expecting.
2007-04-09 08:01:28 · update #1
It is VERY tacky to have a shower for a second baby. That is common knowledge. Ignore brideof..whatever.
Actually, I've never heard of anyone attempting this..but it doesn't surprise me. If shes a close friend then I guess you should go. But I wouldn't want someone selfish and tacky as one of my good friends. Trust me, you're probably not the only one thinking this..which is why she probably had to break down and throw herself a party...
2007-04-09 07:53:30 · answer #1 · answered by Princepessa 1 · 1⤊ 5⤋
It's not really normal etiquette to have a baby shower after your first baby. Especially if the second baby is the same sex as the first- she already has most things she would need. At least thats what I've heard from my sister in law- she just had a baby four months ago and has a friend who is throwing herself a baby shower for her second baby and she said everyone is kind of wierded out by the whole thing- people think its tacky and inappropriate. Go if she is a good friend and you plan on being in her life and her baby's life. But if you are uncomfortable to go just send a small gift and tell her you are sorry you aren't able to make it.
2007-04-09 12:24:58 · answer #2 · answered by aly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very improper/tacky/selfish for her to throw a shower for her second baby. If someone had offered to throw her one, that would be one thing, but since it is her throwing herself a shower when she doesn't need anything for the baby, it seems to be a gift grab. Showers are meant to celebrate the baby and mother, but should never be given by the mother or grandmother. However, just because it's tacky doesn't mean you shouldn't go. This is your friend, and maybe she just needs the support and the time with her friends and family before she has another kid. Go because you want to celebrate with her, and get over the tackiness. Get a cute outfit for the baby, a "big sister" gift for the older kid, and have a good time. If you can't get over the tackiness, don't go.
2007-04-09 17:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by clehl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see nothing wrong with having a shower for second (or third, or fourth) babies. In my opinion, a baby shower is to celebrate the baby, and each baby deserves to be celebrated. Not to mention, in theory, parents have everything they would need for the second child from the things they had from the first, but realistically, baby clothes can be stained, furniture/bedding can still be in use for the first child, etc.
A common practice where I live is to throw "diaper showers", basically giving things parents will need on a continuous basis for the second child. However, some people have a regular baby shower, and if you focus on the fact that it's not for the mom, it's for the baby, it is a lot less tacky.
Throwing her own shower, on the other hand, is tacky in the extreme. Check first, though. It could be someone else is throwing her the shower, and asked who she wanted to invite and where to mail the invites to.
It's up to you. If she's a close friend, I think you should go.
2007-04-09 08:04:50 · answer #4 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She should definitely not be throwing herself a shower; that's just a gift grab. Also, a baby shower is normally only for your first baby. This in no way means that 2nd or 3rd babies aren't as important or special. First showers are meant to celebrate a woman moving into another phase of her life - being a mother. It is also to help her acquire some of the things she will need for the baby. By the time her next baby comes along she will already have cribs, strollers, towels, bottles, etc.
Of course, you normally would give a gift for the birth of each child, you just don't throw a shower. You either bring the gift to the hospital or to their home after the baby is born.
If she's already told you that she has everything she needs for the baby, then her throwing herself a shower is a serious gift grab. I personally would not attend.
2007-04-09 07:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
That is insane!!!!!!! I've never understood baby registry...either way a list is a list. Why can't you split it with another guest and buy used....that's what I would do. A used pump can be just as good as new, same with the bobby, and really anything you can wash and reuse. Then as for the other stuff go cheap!!! Who says it has to be Baby's R Us and all name brand top of the line stuff? I bought a box of pads and cream and bottles for myself for $30 at walmart. You can get a used boppy for $15-20 at Once Upon a Child. The breast pump you can get for about $50 at walmart too and that's single electric. So you're looking at now about....$100 tops. If she can't be greatful for that then she's selfish. Heck my babyshower I told them what I needed but didn't expect much. A stroller, carseat, and daipers is all I needed. I didn't care what brand or how old as long as it worked!
2016-05-21 00:38:26 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I, personally, think every child is a cause for celebration. So...eventhough she is going against convention by throwing her own shower----I think you should go and celebrate this baby.
It's a good thing that she is coming around and seeing a reason to rejoice....I would think that you would want her to be happy about another child (even if the cicumstances are not so wonderful). Be there, support her, and show the love you have for her and this child.
2007-04-09 23:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by diapercakesbybecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it is sad that she has to throw her own baby shower. It does look tacky if she has to do it herself. IT DOESNT MATTER IF IT IS HER SECOND OT TENTH CHILD! you always have a baby shower it is something nice for the mom to have done for her and you are celebrating the baby! if you are her friend I would go to the party.
2007-04-09 07:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by Heidi Anne 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing tacky about a second shower, but perhaps in throwing her own. You aren't walking in her shoes and know her needs, so maybe cut her some slack. If you would go with an attitude, maybe you should just sit this one out. But if you can go and be happy for her, then by all means!
2007-04-09 07:53:15 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
How long ago did she have her last shower 9 months 1 year 5 years? Probably throwing it for gift value alone. Kind of tacky but hey some people can't afford the stuff for babies and then again some people are just greedy. Don't go!
2007-04-09 07:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by tmjgmw 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋